Archer and the FNG
by xxxHazelxxx
Summary: There's a new sniper on the team and with Toad back in London on leave, it's up to the FNG to support Archer on a sudden urgent mission. Archer thought dealing with Toad and his antics was enough but he was in for a surprise with the new guy that he couldn't help but hate. SLASH! (in later chapters) (OC/Archer) (Ghost/OC) First FF! Disclaimer: I don't own COD only my OC's.
1. Chapter 1

MacTavish had called over the COMM for the FNG and Archer to head to the briefing room for a mission, irritation showing clearing across Archer's face when he entered the room. The man was tall, stoic, and quiet, unnerving the FNG when they'd first met. Now sitting in the briefing room together, the irritation coming off in waves he thought he'd fall over dead. Much to Archer's dismay when he'd tried talking MacTavish into sending someone else, someone he'd worked with before, on the mission with him he was quickly shot down. The Scot's anger sharp and stinging as he made the veteran sniper back down in submission, Archer would have to deal with it even if he didn't like it. It wasn't that he hated the new guy, or he pissed him off at one point or another, he just couldn't stand him. Going out on the mission he'd have to push it back and let it go for the time being. But man, with the new guy and his insistent bugging, questions a hundred miles an hour, bouncing up and down like a kitten waiting to pounce onto a new toy; Archer wasn't sure he'd survive. The others seemed to like him though, teasing the hell out of him as the new FNG. The nonstop pranks had been fun to watch but he just grated on Archer's nerves.

It didn't surprise Archer that not long after being here Roach took the younger man as his new friend, helping him navigate who is who, what to do and what not to do. The two were always seen around each other which also meant he was around MacTavish and Ghost as well keeping him in good favor with the two CO's. But for some reason, despite having trained to keep everything calm and blank on the outside, the new guy would say one word or give a look and Archer thought he was going to strangle the man. Of course he couldn't especially with him being chummy with the CO's, mostly Ghost who ran training.

Maybe this was his punishment for completely handing the guy his ass during hand-to-hand combat training a few weeks back. He didn't mean to dislodge the man's shoulder, it had just happened when he'd tried to flip Archer over. Legs wrapped around Archer's chest, the man used all his momentum to try and topple the much larger man and ended up hanging above the ground. Grinning at the smaller man's shock Archer had dropped to his knees slamming the man harshly into the ground to the sound of a loud crack followed by a howling scream. After that the FNG had stayed as far from Archer as possible. Archer took every moment in enjoying it but now on the mission, the FNG couldn't run away from his superior anymore.

The FNG is lying next to Archer, shoulders almost touching, as they look through their scopes. They'd been there, still under the beating sun making their ghillie suits soaked from sweat. Archer could feel the FNG squirming beside him, his breathes harsh coming from behind his black balaclava, three red stripes down the left side of his face, which he insisted on wearing under the ghillie hood.

"Hazel, will you stop fucking moving!" Archer whispered angrily, shooting the smaller man a glare.

Hazel went rigid before a moment later he let out a breath and slumped against his sniper rifle, "How much longer? We've been waiting for days for this guy to show up…" He couldn't hold back the whining and impatience showing in his voice that only made Archer angrier.

"Can you just shut the fuck up and watch for him?" Archer snapped, a hand reaching out and shoving Hazel's face towards his scope.

Hazel didn't say anything in response, Archer pulling his hand back, and stared through the scope for several more hours. When the sun had set they still stayed in place, Hazel switching his scope to night vision before continuing to lie in wait.

"I got movement at the top right corner of that third building from the left. It looks like some guy is setting up something…" Uncertainty of their safety shivers down Hazel's spine as he speaks. "Maybe we should back out for the night to the other position and come back before dawn."

Archer looked through his own scope spotting the man at the top of the building, messing with something inside of a large bag before lying down on his stomach, "Enemy sniper getting in position. Stay absolutely still. I'm going to move back and when I give the command, you move back, slowly."

"Right…" Hazel's voice is barely above a whisper as he watches the enemy sniper nervously, "This is the first time seeing one out, think they know we're here?"

Archer doesn't answer as he moves back slowly trying to make as little noise as possible despite the foliage all around making it practically impossible. A few meters back his ghillie suit catches on a bush making it move angrily as he moves his leg back. A curse leaves his lips and he goes absolutely still. Back at their original position Hazel is holding his breath, staring down his scope watching the man.

"He's looking this way… I don't know if he sees us… Fuck…" Hazel's voice is shaking slightly, "I hate getting shot… please I don't want to be shot today…"

"Shut up you fucking pansy!" Archer growls, a hand moving to his leg to release his suit from the bush. "As long as he's not shooting at us, he hasn't seen us. And even if he looks like he's looking at us he's probably not."

A few minutes later Archer has moved back far enough and he whistles for Hazel to follow him back. Trying to be as discreet as possible Hazel moves his rifle to lie across his arms and begins moving back. It's a long and slow process and when he reaches Archer he turns around so he's facing away from the compound. They're over halfway to a new position they'd scouted previously when a static cuts through the silence and MacTavish's voice comes through the radio in their ears.

"Report in, what's happening out there?"

Archer moved a hand to his throat touching the mike, "Still no sign. Guy must be arriving soon, changing position now for better cover from enemy sniper that's set up, over."

"Copy that; stay frosty Oscar Mike, out."

Archer removes his hand and starts crawling forward again with Hazel not far behind him. It doesn't take them much longer until they're in position again, rifles at the ready staring down their scopes. Hazel starts squirming again and Archer turns his head to send a death glare at him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" It's a low growl coming from the back of his throat and as the words reach Hazel's ears he grows stiff.

"Sorry…" Hazel says hastily, not wanting to go into a full conversation with Archer. He'd been trying the entire time they'd been on this mission, from the moment they got in the chopper. Now it's been several days and still no luck. He'd given up, to now having Archer practically jumping down his throat for a response with his animosity, Hazel was unsure of what to say.

"No you've been trying to talk to me so now here I am, willing to hear what you have to fucking say so say it!" Archer's voice raises slightly as he yelled at Hazel making them both jump and go silent, looking around to see if anyone had heard them. After a few agonizing minutes Archer lets out a breath he'd been holding; no one heard.

"Why do you hate me?" Hazel says finally breaking the silence that had engulfed them.

Archer grunts, keeping his head down and over his rifle as he stares down the scope, "I don't."

Hazel scoffs turning his head towards Archer before looking down his own scope, "You've hated me since I first joined. You can't deny it, especially after you dislodged my fucking shoulder… Plus the way you've been treating me…"

Archer didn't say anything, just kept looking over at the compound, watching and waiting.

"I mean," Hazel continues, "you're the best fucking sniper on the team with Toad at your side, and with me being a new sniper, do you feel threatened by me? Or that MacTavish will have me replace Toad permanently? It won't ever happen…" He looks over at Archer but doesn't see any kind of sign of acknowledgement that he'd heard. Taking in a deep breath he plummets further into the thoughts that had been running through his mind before speaking again, "I'll never be as good as you, and Toad is way more experienced than me, I'm just the third wheel that doesn't want to get in the way… I look up to you and Toad… Make me want to strive and be better… Why do you hate me for that?"

"Four heavy armored trucks approaching the compound from the south, get ready this could be it." His words reveal nothing as Archer speaks, and with his chest constricting and hurting Hazel watches the trucks through his scope.

It didn't take long for men to start piling out of the trucks and in the third one stepped out their target. He was dressed sharp in a suit; four heavily armed men surrounded him, blocking him from view as they moved.

Archer cursed beside him, "Those guys are in my fucking way I can't see clearly. Did you get a good look at his face?"

Hazel nodded his head before speaking, "Yeah it's him." He pulled the picture they had of their target and set it between him and Archer, "No mistaking it, that's our guy."

Archer grunted in acknowledgement as he continued to try and see the man himself, his finger against his trigger, wanting to hurry and finish the job. Hazel is beside him calling out quietly the wind and anything else that could affect the shot.

"Take out that sniper when I hit the target." Archer says when Hazel finally quiets and with a grunt of his own the two men ready themselves.

Finally Archer gets a clear line of sight and confirming the target with his own eyes he pulls the trigger. Within seconds the compound is buzzing with activity, the target down on the ground with blood and brains spilling from the holes in his head. Beside him Hazel had taken out his target and the two began moving backwards.

Archer touched the radio on his throat, "Target down, moving towards the EZ, over."

"Copy that; meet at the EZ in two hours. Stay frosty, out." Comes a cool British accent over the COMM and Hazel immediately recognizes it as Ghost's voice.

"I wonder where the Captain is…" Hazel mulls out loud as they continue crawling away from the compound in the direction of the EZ.

"Shut up and keep a look out." Archer snaps from ahead of him, pausing momentarily to glare at Hazel before continuing to move forward.

Hazel sighs heavily, following Archer's orders keeping his eyes scanning the area as they move, ears straining to hear anything over the loud pounding of his heart. When they had gotten a safe distance Archer raises a fist and Hazel froze, holding his breath. Slowly and carefully Archer rises to his feet, looking around cautiously before motioning for Hazel to join him.

"It's clear, let's get going. We have a long way to go still." Archer says under his breath before starting forward at a jog with Hazel close behind.

They didn't make much sound despite the large ghillie suits and heavy sniper rifles in hand, boots barely making a sound but the soft crunch of leaves under foot. An hour had passed and they still had a ways to go but Archer raised a fist and they came to a halt. He nodded towards a tree and Hazel went to it, leaning against it as he pulled his balaclava up to his nose, the ghillie hood slipping down to his shoulders. Archer looked over, seeing the three scars that run down his cheek, almost perfectly lined up with the red stripes on his balaclava. Hazel doesn't notice Archer watching, his right hand holding his rifle while his left fishes into a pocket and pulling a water bottle out. He opens it with his teeth, taking the cap between his fingers and downs half of the bottle. A stream of water falls out the corner of his mouth as he gulps the liquid down greedily thankful for the small break. He thought he was going to die from heat exhaustion in the forest, the summer heat beating down on them. Lowering the bottle from his lips he finally notices Archer watching and offers the water to him. Hesitant to get close to Hazel he reluctantly reaches a hand out and their fingers momentarily touch before Archer yanks the bottle to him. The action makes Hazel groan aloud, frustrated with Archer's behavior but he quickly looks away from the taller man's glare. No matter how angry it made him he didn't want to piss off his superior more so than he already has.

Avoiding eye contact with Archer, Hazel looks around their position silently. It isn't until Archer offers him the almost empty water bottle does he look back at him. He takes it with a nod, downing the rest of the water before putting it back in his pocket.

He reaches up and pulls his balaclava down then fixes his ghillie hood back on, "I can take point."

"No need, I can handle it." Archer hisses as he shoves past Hazel and begins walking off through the bush. Hazel runs several feet to catch up with Archer's fast pace then slows to a walk.

The helicopter arrives a few minutes after they make it to the EZ and in silence they climb on sitting across from each other as they head back to base. It's a long ride back and Hazel finds himself drifting asleep, his head lulling to the side, eyes struggling to stay open until they finally shut. Archer is watching out of the corner of his eyes, not sure why but he can't help. He remembers the lower half of his face, the scars pink against his pale white skin, light brown goatee, his hazel eyes unfocused as he stared off in peace enjoying the short break.

Furrowing his brow Archer shakes his head, mentally slapping himself before staring out the open side of the helicopter, his rifle safely tucked under the seat. He tries to focus on the scenery they pass but he finds his mind slipping. The way Hazel's lips had looked when he'd licked his lips after finishing the water, his eyes half closed. It sent a shiver down Archer's back making him uncomfortable. Why the hell was he thinking about that? He had to get out of this helicopter and as far away from this kid as possible. And that's just what he does when they finally land back at base. He doesn't bother waking Hazel, knowing the pilot will do it for him and with his rifle in hand jogs to the armory. He takes his time in cleaning his gun thoroughly before putting it away in his personal gun locker and heading to the briefing room. As he's leaving the armory he sees Hazel coming, grumbling under his breath with his sniper rifle leaning up against his shoulder, his free hand rubbing at his eyes. Archer makes a quick turn, avoiding the man, and since he's passing the laundry room he drops off his ghillie suit, covered in mud, leaves and sticks stuck in it, and reeking of sweat. At the briefing room, he begins filling out the mission report. Thankful that neither Ghost nor MacTavish ask much about the mission.

He can feel his cheeks' burning a light red as his mind wonders back to the mission, lying on the ground next to Hazel. Pushing the thoughts from his mind he forces himself to become angry, not wanting to let what true feelings inside him are saying. He'd rather have everyone think he hates the FNG than show that he's actually infatuated with the man. Archer figures if he pushes it down long enough it'll disappear but so far he'd had no luck. Weeks have passed and he didn't want to think about what that could mean.

"Archer!"

Looking up, eyes wide, Archer sees MacTavish standing on the other side of the table watching him with eyes slightly narrowed, "Yes, sir?"

"I've been trying to get your bloody fucking attention for the past five minutes! Where is Hazel?" The Scot's patience gone from having to continually try and get Archer's attention, he was almost tempted to let Ghost kick the chair out from the other man, almost.

Archer shrugs his shoulders, quickly looking down at the report to hide the blush rushing back to his cheeks, "I saw him walking towards the armory on my way here."

Just before MacTavish tells Archer to go find him, Hazel steps through the door, ghillie suit gone and in combat pants and boots, a tight grey shirt outlining his muscled body, balaclava pulled down over his face. He'd put glasses on, one of his eyes red from rubbing at it. He pauses as he feels the tension coming off the captain and in a swift movement he raises his right hand in a salute.

MacTavish shakes his head and motions for the man to sit down, "No need to salute me Hazel, get started on your report."

Hazel nods his head, "Aye sir." He sits down a few seats down from Archer, clicking a pen as he starts to fill the form out, biting his lip under the mask.

Archer tries to ignore him but he notices the chewing, the twitch in his hands as they rest on either side of the paper. He's trying to remember something that he's unclear of but it's clear he doesn't want to ask Archer. It's not like the man has been nice to him. Granted Archer felt the opposite of him, actually liking the smaller man, but Hazel thought that he hated his guts and didn't want to anger the sniper. So as Archer finishes filing out the report Hazel's still sitting, his head tilting to the side as his eyes wonder Archer decides to be nice. Sighing heavily, he hands his report in and after a quick glance down at where Hazel has stopped on his own report he taps the table with three fingers twice. Hazel snaps out of his thoughts, seeing the three fingers and quickly writes down six. He starts to thank Archer but the man is already out the door leaving him alone with Ghost and MacTavish.

"He fucking hates your guts mate."

Hazel sighs, leaning back in his chair as the tension in his shoulders subsides, "I know… I tried asking him why but he just said he didn't and then just started ignoring me. I mean, he was practically biting my fucking head off the majority of the mission then just boom, asks about the elephant in the room and he's pulling away… I'm just glad nothing bad happened… He doesn't trust me…"

MacTavish pauses from staring at the paperwork in front of him and looks across the table at Hazel, expression softening, "It'll take time for him to warm up to the thought of working with you. He's just only ever worked with Toad since he had joined, they have a system. Whether Archer likes it or not you're going to have to become a part of that system until we get that forth sniper. And as for the trust, he trusts you enough to get the job done or he never would have left base with you."

Hazel nods his head, looking down at the file dreading having to complete it. He always hated doing paperwork with such a passion but knew it needed to be done. Taking a deep breath he leans forward again and finishes the paperwork just as Roach bursts through the doors.

"Hazel!" He yells out, his arms wide with a huge grin plastered across his face.

"Roach!" Hazel yells back, a grin hidden beneath his mask but it's heard through his voice as he stands up and the two hug for a moment before Roach quickly moves backwards.

He's pinching his nose and waving his hand in the air, a look of disgust on his face, "EW dude you stink!"

Hazel laughs and shrugs his shoulders, "You're telling me? Man it's awful but I wanted to get the report done before I forgot anything. I'm gonna go wash up now."

"Good mate, that's a real good idea. Come find me when you're done!" Roach carefully pats his shoulder making Hazel laugh as he leaves, Roach instantly striking a conversation with Ghost. Their British accents fading as he shuts the door to the room behind him, MacTavish's accent cutting through the air as he told the two to shut up so he could finish his work. All of them knew he wouldn't and that Ghost would have to come in and save his arse from Shepherd.

Chuckling to himself Hazel made his way through the base unsurprisingly not running into anyone. If they were on base the guys either closed themselves in their rooms, wanting their privacy, or were in the recreational room relaxing if they weren't in the mess hall bugging the cooks or raiding the fridges. He stopped by his room, the bed made neatly, the desk clear save a black journal, and a dresser next to the closet. Opening the dresser he pulls out clean clothes to change into, tossing them on the bed before taking his boots off, feet relieved as they get air. Satisfied he leaves his room walking down to the community shower and locker room, clean clothes in hand. He sets his things in front of his locker, opening it and pulling out a bag with his toothbrush and toothpaste and a towel. He sheds his clothes, save his balaclava, setting them in the hamper in his locker and with bag and towel in hand he steps around the wall dividing the lockers from the showers.

He didn't think anything of it when he'd heard one of the showers on, figuring it was Archer cleaning up from the mission. What he didn't expect was when he turned the corner he saw Archer leaning forward, a hand against the tile wall with his forehead against his arm so he's looking in the opposite direction. His other hand he sees moving in a jerking movement and he nearly faints as a low groan reaches his ears. Archer was taking care of himself and Hazel didn't know what to do as he stood there, frozen in place. There's another low groan and Archer stiffens biting his arm and Hazel realizes he's just seen Archer come and he's sure he thought a name was groaned. He's not sure whose name but before he can finally unglue himself from where he's standing Archer looks up. A feral growl escapes hiss mouth followed by a string of shouted curses and Hazel finds his feet taking him away from the scene, quickly grabbing his clothes on and running back to his room. The shower forgotten he stands with his back pressed against the door, wanting to sink into the floor and disappear. His breath is coming in fast quick gasps as he'd run up the four flights of stairs from the second floor where the showers were located within the barracks. Sweat drips down his brow and he tosses his glasses to the bed, his vision instantly decreasing making the edges of everything becoming slightly blurred. He's about to cross his room to get his contacts and put them in when there's a knock on his door and his stomach drops as the deep British accent cuts through him.

"Open the bloody door; I know you're in there."

Hazel stands halfway to his desk, a hand outstretched for a new pair of contacts, "No." His voice is just above a whisper as he defies his superior but his fear of seeing Archer outweighs the consequences he'll have to face eventually.

Archer hears him though and his large fist pounds against the door shaking it in its' hinges, "Hazel, open this door now!" The malice is evident in his voice, "That's a direct order mate, don't fucking test me right now!"

Newfound fear washes over Hazel and carefully he unlocks his door before jumping across the room as it swings open and Archer steps in, his hands clenched into fists at his side. Archer was the stoic, quiet type, not ever really speaking up and keeping to himself about everything but as he slammed the door behind him his face was anything but expressionless. With a flick of his wrist the door is quickly locked and he stalks across the room as Hazel tries desperately to disappear into the cemented wall. To his dismay it doesn't work and Archer's hand wraps around his throat and he's lifted up off the floor, feet dangling in the air.

"What. Did. You. Hear?" The words are spoken individually, harshly, their noses almost touching as Hazel looks on with wide eyes. Archer was trying his best to not let Hazel see anything and from the fear in his eyes, he was getting the reaction he'd wanted.

"I d-d-didn't h-hear a-a-anything!" Hazel stutters out, hands gripping Archer's arm trying to gasp for air.

"Don't lie to me!" Archer growls, pushing his body up against Hazel to intimidate the man even more. It backfires as he feels a soft lump against his hip as Hazel's right leg is pushed between his legs to press up against him. His breath hitches slightly, eyes widening for a moment, his body reacting to the proximity of Hazel's face to his, their bodies pressed together. He curses aloud, stepping away from Hazel before dashing out of the room with the door slamming closed behind him. A few moments later Hazel hears Archer slam his own door shut down the hall and he's left to sink to the floor, gasping.

He's not sure what to do or think as he sits there, knees against his chest. Was Archer involved with Toad and he didn't want anyone to know? Hazel shook his head not wanting to think about it. If the two were together it was none of his business, and if Archer approached him again he'd tell the truth like he had, he didn't hear anything. You could say he was lying if you mean just the groans, but the name at the end, he had no clue whose it was and he had no plans to learn.

Lifting himself up off the ground after half an hour, hand shakily grabbing his glasses, he runs out of his room, past Archer's room, and down to the showers. He strips again, folding the clothes and setting them on the middle bench. He grabs his towel and bag with his toothpaste and toothbrush and showers. Thankful for no one else being in there he slips off his balaclava, three scars starting at his hairline above his nose and left eye, going down jaggedly to his jaw. Two of them curved down his neck to his left elbow where they met and formed one line down to the top of his wrist. A few members of the Task Force had asked him about it when he'd joined but he told them to ask another time, not wanting to talk about it.

It was only now when he'd pull the balaclava off, letting the water wash over his face and enjoying the feel. A smile tugging at the corner of his lip, forgetting what he'd caught Archer doing earlier, he washes his body. Scratching at his head, the shampoo bubbling up, he feels the tension leaving his body. Leaving the soap in, he grabs his toothbrush and starts scrubbing his teeth for a few minutes until he spits into the drain, rinsing the brush before putting it back in the bag. Stepping under the stream of water he sets his hands again the tile, sighing heavily.

Upstairs Archer is pacing his room, nails digging into his palms. He didn't know what had come over him but he had let rage fill him and he'd gone after Hazel. It was so uncharacteristic of him and when he'd made the mistake of pressing their bodies together he was sure he was going to lose it. As soon as he'd gotten back to his room he couldn't make the bulge go away until he slipped his hand under his boxers, rubbing it until he came. Images of Hazel pushed down under him filling his mind and he finds himself groaning out his name as he releases for the second time that day. His legs shaky under him he walks across his room, lifting up a discarded shirt and cleans himself up before collapsing on his bed, groaning in frustration.

He had wanted to close the distance of their faces, have their lips touch, but there was no way he could do that. He'd been hurt so many times before, he couldn't let it happen again, not like this. He was supposed to be the younger man's mentor, teach him everything he knows to make the man better but instead he lashed out at him, belittling him. Making the man feel pathetic under Archer's scrutinizing glaze. He felt bad for it, he didn't want to make him feel that way but Archer had no other way to handle the emotions wanting to burst free. Toad would know what to tell him, to help calm his nerves, but his best friend was home with his family and didn't want to bother him. He had his own problems going on at home; he didn't need to hear about Archer losing his mind after he'd left because his emotions won't calm down. It was almost like Toad was with him though as he thought back to when his friend had left, telling him to come clean to Hazel but Archer had shaken his head vigorously saying that, that was the worst idea possible. Now he was sure the cat was out of the bag, or elephant as Hazel liked to call things. Archer never could understand all the references the American made but Ozone, Chemo, Scarecrow, Peasant, Robot, and Zach all did. It irritated him, though it had never been irritating with the others, it was only with Hazel. The man could only be breathing in the same room and Archer would react, wanting to move closer to him, lift that mask up to show those pink scars. To feel them beneath his fingers before taking off that bloody mask. It was bad enough having one trigger happy mask tooting maniac running around, they didn't need a happy go lucky mask wearing idiot running around too.

Groaning in annoyance at his own thoughts he slips out of bed and opens his door to see a small note folded and slipped under it. Picking it up he reads the note scribbled out, "I didn't hear anything, I swear and I'll forget what I saw. I promise." There was no name written anywhere but Archer knew it was Hazel. A groan against escaping his lips he rips the paper up, tossing it into a small trashcan by his bed, before heading downstairs and out to the recreational room. Inside several men are sitting on a long couch, controllers in hand as they play some game. One a different couch a few guys are talking, he notices Scarecrow giving him a look before turning away and continuing to talk with Royce. Archer shrugs it off and walks over to an empty couch to watch a card game not far from him involving Meat, Worm, Rook, and Mamba.

After awhile Meat and Worm leave when Jester comes and waves for them to follow. Archer gets a filling they're about to pull off some big prank but he doesn't care. He turns his attention away and pulls out a small book he keeps in his pocket, the spine falling apart.

o0o

Hazel looks up from where he's sitting with Roach, MacTavish, and Ghost, a spoon still in his mouth; his balaclava rolled up to sit atop his nose. He sees several of the guys walk into the mess hall taking up their typical seats once they've filled their trays with food. They're talking excitedly amongst themselves but he's not sure what it's about. He has a small feeling it's some prank they plan to pull on him. Tearing his eyes away he sees Archer sitting quietly eating his own dinner, a small book in his hand. Flashes of what he'd seen earlier start appearing but with a quick shake of his head he puts the thoughts behind him.

"Something wrong mate?"

Hazel shakes his head before looking up at MacTavish, "Just worried they guys are planning some prank." The Scot nods his head, glancing over at them. It wasn't hard to hide his true thoughts when Hazel was actually worried about what they were planning.

Across the table Roach turns in his seat and grins, "I'm gonna go over there and find out."

Before any of the three men can say anything Roach hops out of his seat and bounds across the hall to stand behind Meat, bugging them to know what they're hiding. From that point on they begin talking in whispers, but Hazel can feel the looks and glances some of them are shooting his way. They are planning something. Feeling a headache starting to form Hazel takes a sip of his water and sighs; it was going to be a long night if they were going to pull the prank tonight if they haven't already set it. From the looks of it they have.

At a table closer to the group of men Archer is trying to focus on his book but his efforts are broken by the insistent whispering between Meat, Roach, Worm, and Jester. They're talking about something Meat and the other two stooges took from Hazel's room. Archer sits up straight, glancing over to the table to see a black journal in Meat's hands. It's the journal he'd momentarily glimpsed to be sitting on Hazel's desk, they went and took that. Archer groans mentally, keeping an eye on them out of the corner of his eye and sees Meat pull out a pair of dog tags from the journal and a collective gasp comes from the table. His curiosity peaks and he turns his head to see there's dried blood on the tags, the page it had been pulled from has large letters scribbled in black ink. Even from this distance it's easy for Archer to read, 'Joseph died in front of me.' Who was Joseph?

Meat asks the same question, aloud, to everyone at the table's dismay because Hazel's eyes shoot up to look at the men. His eyes are wide, his hands trembling, legs unsteady as he pushes himself from his seat. MacTavish is asking what's going on, Ghost is watching with his arms crossed, and Roach is running to Hazel who's making his way to Meat.

Roach tries to stop Hazel, putting his hands up, "Come on, and let's go finish eating?"

Hazel pushes Roach aside and glares down at Meat, "What the hell did you just ask?"

Meat has the journal and dog tags hidden behind his back, "I didn't ask anything."

Hazel narrows his eyes noticing Meat is hiding something while Roach comes up beside him grabbing his arm, "Come on mate, and let's finish eating. These twats were talking about some past mission before they'd joined the task force."

"What do you have behind your back Meat?" Hazel asks, ignoring Roach. "Don't say you're not because I can see you are."

"It's none of your business." Meat rolls his eyes.

"Meat if you have something that doesn't belong to you, give it back, now." MacTavish calls, making his way across the hall wanting to avoid a fight breaking out between Meat and Hazel.

Meat, not wanting to anger the captain stands up and with reluctance, pulls out the black journal and dog tags from behind his back. Hazel freezes, mouth opening slightly as he stares at the objects. He had a sickening feeling when he heard Meat ask who Joseph was and seeing his journal in the other man's hands it confirms it. His hands dart out taking the journal and dog tags back, shoving them in his pant pockets and before MacTavish reaches them Hazel has Meat on the ground. He has Meat's armed pinned beneath his legs as he wails down on the much larger man, knuckles becoming bloody from the blows. MacTavish is now running to pull Hazel off but just before he grabs him Archer has Hazel in his arms pulling him away. He kicks and screams out curses and insults fighting Archer to get his hands on Meat.

MacTavish is finally there, standing between Meat and Hazel, his hands up as his face turns red with fury, "Enough! You have two seconds to calm your ass down Hazel!"

Archer feels a shiver go through Hazel before he grows still in his arms but he doesn't let go, keeping his arms firmly around. Meat is wiping blood from his mouth and nose as he stands up with Worm at his side. They're both watching Hazel wearily but his eyes are on the floor.

"My office! Now! The both of you!" MacTavish growls out while grabbing Hazel's arm and taking him from Archer.

Meat follows while Ghost steps up next to Roach, his arms still crossed, "What was that about?"

Roach sighs heavily, "Meat took Hazel's journal and found dog tags to some guy named Joseph Mallet. One of the pages read, Joseph died in front of me.' It must have been someone from his old team before he came here."

Ghost shook is head, turning to go back to his food, "Never mess with a man's past. If he chooses to leave it behind closed doors, respect it. You don't know the wounds you'd be ripping open."

Archer nods silently, noticing the agony in Hazel's eyes as he'd laid his eyes on the dog tags. Sighing he made his way back to his food, no longer hungry, and takes the dishes to the kitchen. He heads back to his room where he lays down on his bed with the small book in hand; thumbing the page he's on. Half an hour later he hears footsteps; harsh and heavy, as they pass down the hallway then the clicking of a lock and the slamming of a door followed by the lock clicking back in place. It had to have been Hazel since Meat lived on one of the lower floors. Absent mindedly Archer wonders what the captain had said to the man, worried for him.

He pushes it out of his mind until he hears soft knocking on his door, "What?" Archer grumbles as he puts the book down, folding the page he was on, and opens the door to his room. To his surprise Hazel is standing there, head pointed down while he shuffles his feet. Archer steps aside and the smaller man steps inside and finds a spot against the wall to sit down, his knees pulling up to his chest. Archer closes his door, clicking the lock, and sits down on the edge of his bed looking at Hazel. A silence engulfs them and Archer doesn't think he plans to speak up any time soon. Accepting that, he picks his book back up, leaning against the wall, and continues reading.

Stifling a large yawn Archer looks across the room at his desk to see the time. He sighs, putting his book on his desk, removing his boots and stuffing them at the edge of the bed, and looks over at Hazel. His head is turned down, hands limp at his sides, shoulders lifting and falling steadily. Archer shakes his head realizing Hazel had fallen asleep. Grabbing a spare blanket and pillow from the closet he lays Hazel down, wrapping the blanket around him. Hazel turns his face into the pillow, hands clenching the blanket in his fists, knuckles turning white. Archer moves quietly to his bed, and not long after he's fast asleep as well, his dreams more pleasant than Hazel's.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you everyone for reading! Also a shout out to Laura627, AeonReg, and Kanda2314 thank you so much for the favorite and follow of the story! I hope you guys enjoy this second chapter! It gets hot and steamy so beware if that doesn't float your boat. I get into details about Hazel's past and also creating a past for Scarecrow whose past is unknown except that he is an American member of the 141. Sorry if I accidently miss grammar mistakes, I'm trying my best while being a full time student. Anyways, enough of me (I could go on for hours about myself ;p ) enjoy!**

Hazel's breath hitches as he sits up straight, arms coming up to protect himself. The blanket is tangled between his legs; mask twisted hiding his left eye, body aching from sleeping on the floor. Taking a few shaky gasps of air he notices his surroundings and remembers going to Archer's room. He didn't know why but his feet had led him out of his room to the taller man's room, wanting to seek comfort somewhere even if it was through the man's anger. Archer wasn't angry with him though, his eyes held sympathy in his eyes while letting Hazel into the room and letting him sit against the wall. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, he wanted to tell Archer about what the captain had said about his outburst but he didn't know how to start. How do you confide in someone that treats you like they hate your guts? Instead he'd fallen asleep and Archer had given him a blanket and pillow. It brings a small smile to Hazel's eyes as he fixes his mask, grabbing his discarded glasses slipping them on.

Across the room he sees Archer pulling on his boots, "Get ready. Training starts soon."

Nodding his head Hazel forces his stiff body from the floor and shuffles down the hall to his own room. He quickly changes clothes and puts his contacts in before hustling down the flights of stairs and out the door. He makes it just as Ghost starts yelling at the group of men and they start running around the track. Once he's satisfied, everyone gasping for breath, he orders them to do different exercises in place, including four hundred push-ups. Hazel collapses to the ground in exhaustion when they're finally done the sun beating down on his back and for a moment he thinks he's back on the mission but the missing suffocation of the ghillie suit is a nice reprieve. Ghost calls out to them to go get cleaned up, grab some lunch, and that they'll have target practice the next day.

Groaning as he pushes himself up Hazel makes his way over to Ghost, not wanting to go to the showers just yet, "I seriously think you're trying to kill us."

Ghost chuckles, the skull balaclava unnerving as he turns to look at Hazel, "I think what you guys did was pretty basic mate. Having trouble keeping up after that lashing MacTavish gave you?"

Hazel scoffs, "That was easy." They both know it's a lie with Hazel still gasping through his mask, leaning forward with his hands resting on his knees. "And it wasn't that bad, MacTavish yelling at me. It just made me so angry that I got in trouble when Meat was the one that took my journal."

Ghost hummed, patting Hazel on the back before starting towards the admin building, "He was upset with you because you had pounced Meat. It's not fair for the rest of the guys if he only yells at Meat. It'll look like he's favoring you, can't have that."

"I know, but it's still grating my nerves." Hazel starts following, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Mind if I stick with you for awhile? I don't want to shower yet."

"You stink but that's up to you." Ghost tosses over his shoulder and they continue in silence.

They reach Ghost's office that he shares with MacTavish, his desk off to the side while the Scot has the whole back wall. Sitting in front of Ghost's desk as the man goes around it, Hazel folds his arms resting his forehead against the cool wooden surface. The two CO's don't pay him much mind as they work through paperwork, the pile on Ghost's desk growing as MacTavish pushes off doing them himself.

Back in the barracks, Archer is folding up the blanket Hazel had used. When he's shaking it out before starting the first fold there's a soft thump and a clink that catches Archer's attention. Putting the blanket off to the side he kneels down and lifts up Hazel's black journal, the dog tags tucked away between the pages, the excess chain hanging out of the top of the journal. Lifting it up he sets it on his desk, planning to return it, and finishes folding the blanket and putting it away with the pillow in his closet.

Curiosity is going through him as he wonders what is written inside but he shakes his head, not wanting to take away what little privacy the man has left. During his short shower he'd heard Meat and Worm telling the others about what was written inside. It was mostly filled with scribbles and little dabbles about missions. A lot were about nightmares he had, and that there were several men repeatedly mentioned. Neither Meat nor Worm could remember their names except Joseph who they figured out was his brother. On the inside of the cover Hazel had written in block letters his real name as well as at the end of each entry and Worm remembered seeing Joseph's last name on his tags and put two and two together. Archer understood wanting to have his personal life separate from what he did with the force and left it on his desk unopened.

Locking the door behind him as he heads down to the mess hall, Archer plans to return the journal later in the day when Hazel would be in his room. He'd seen the smaller man hang back with Ghost which meant he was probably in the XO's office. More likely than not, he won't be there for lunch.

When Archer makes his way into the mess hall, grabbing a tray of food, he confirms his thoughts not seeing Hazel with Ghost, Roach, and MacTavish who are sitting and talking about something. Archer takes his usual seat, but as he eats his food in quiet Meat, Worm, and Jester plop down in the surrounding seats. He feels a sigh leave his lips as he looks up from his food to see Meat with his arms crossed, white tape across his nose, a dark bruise around it.

"He got you pretty good mate." Archer looks down at his food not wanting to deal with the three jokesters.

"Why did you get him off me? If you hadn't I would have destroyed him. I figured you would appreciate that considering you hate the guy. Thinks he can come here and replace Toad…" Meat keeps his posture, back straight as he watches Archer continue eating.

"What now you're on that kid's side?" Worm asks when Archer still hasn't answered.

With another sigh Archer sits back, looking at the three men around him, "I never said I hated the guy, he just grates my fucking nerves. As for why'd I pull him off? Because despite how badass you want to act Meat, he was as you put it 'destroying' you, not the other way around."

Meat frowns, "Whatever man."

The three men get up and go off to their typical table leaving Archer to finish the rest of his meal in peace.

"Always trying to start something aren't they."

Archer looks up from his finished meal to see Scarecrow sitting down with a tray of food and shrugs, "I don't care, as long as they don't pull me into it."

"What about Hazel? You've been treating the guy like shit this whole time. I mean I went out to meet the helicopter when you guys got back but all I found was Hazel being woken by the pilot with you nowhere in sight. What do you have against the guy?"

Archer looked up to see Scarecrow looking back at him, his dark blue eyes piercing, "I don't want to talk about it with you."

"Yeah, well find someone to talk to about it, or call Toad for the poor guy's sake. He looks up to you; he's told me how amazed he is at Toad and your skills. He wants to be just like you."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Archer mumbles, not realizing he is and Scarecrow raises an eyebrow but before he can say anything Archer is gone.

He's walking outside, face back to its normal stoic expression, making his way to the shooting range. When he gets close enough he hears the piercing sound of a sniper rifle going off. It was just his luck to run into Hazel here when he had been hoping to get some alone time to think. Scarecrow was right, he needed to figure something out, talk to someone but he didn't want to. The one person he wanted to talk to the most, he wasn't sure where to start.

Trying to push it back, Archer grabs his rifle and takes up position not far from where Hazel is adjusting on the ground. He hadn't realized Archer was standing not far away, his mask on the ground beside him, the pink scars down his face and neck clearly visible before disappearing beneath a loose long sleeve grey shirt. Dark brown hair clung to his forehead, still wet from showering, left eye closed shut while his right looked down his scope. He pulls the trigger and Archer hears the faint sound of the bullet hitting the target and he looks down the range, lifting his rifle and looking down the scope. Hazel wasn't making much way with his practice. He was an amazing sniper but there were some shots he struggled to get.

Everything Archer wanted to say comes to the forefront of his mind. Maybe he could use helping Hazel shoot better as an excuse to strike a conversation, he could give it a shot.

Putting his rifle away, Archer moves to Hazel's side, lying down on the ground with a scope in hand. Hazel jumps, shifting his rifle's position feeling the heat of Archer's body and he turns his mouth agape as Archer settles himself and looking down the scope. He quickly grabs up his mask, yanking it down over his head, before hesitantly fixing his rifle back in position. He's looking down the scope, mentally taking the wind and distance into account, before pulling the trigger and just grazing the side of the target. He chews his lip, lifting his head to look over at Archer who's turned his attention to him.

"You're too tensed up, relax. You were hitting it before I lied down, don't be such a fucking pansy." Archer looks back down the handheld scope, "You're aiming too far to the side. Remember, you're shooting at a long distance so you need to compensate but not that much."

Hazel looks back down his scope, the tension building in his shoulders. Trying to relax is out of the question for him but he takes the shot none the less. He still barely grazes it.

"Wow…"

"Your attitude isn't fucking helping!" Hazel yells in frustration, pushing up off the ground. He'd wanted some time alone, to think about the day before. About being shoved up against the wall before Archer had just taken off, the fight with Meat, and then falling asleep in Archer's room. He wanted to figure out a way to say thanks to the taller man but he wasn't making it easy. "I'm done for today." He lifts his rifle, turning to go put it away when Archer is standing in front of him, a hand on his shoulder.

"Get back down there, I'll help you."

It was the first time since he'd been there that Archer was willing to help Hazel in his training. His anger at the man diminished partially and with a renewed enthusiasm, he grinned widely under his mask and got back into position. This made Archer roll his eyes in annoyance but he lied down next to Hazel, putting his chest against Hazel's side as he moved the smaller man's hands on the rifle.

"Now try shooting, just take a deep breath and let everything go. In that moment you pull the trigger, it's just you, the rifle, and your target. Everything else just disappears." Hazel shivers when Archer whispers to him and doing as he says, taking a deep breath, he pulls the trigger.

There's a loud ping as the bullet finds its marker and Hazel gives a squeal of triumph, "I hit it close to the bulls' eye!"

Archer finds himself smiling before he can stop it, trying to force back the emotions he was feeling being around the smaller man, "Good job mate. Now hit it again, but this time hit the bulls' eye."

Hazel nods his head vigorously before reloading the rifle and putting his head back down, eye staring down the scope. He can feel Archer pressing into him, a strong chest dwarfing his smaller body, and remembers what he'd caught Archer doing in the shower. He gasps lightly, thinking of when Archer had run off when their bodies had been pushed together and his thigh had rubbed against him. His face feels like its on fire as he thinks about it in a new light.

"What are you waiting for?" Archer's mouth is just inches away from Hazel's ear as he speaks.

"S-s-sir?" Hazel stutters, head turning to look up at Archer.

Their faces are so close together, noses almost touching, Archer fights his body trying to keep his face clear of emotion, willing his body not to respond to the close proximity, "What? Scared you're going to miss?"

"You say you don't hate me, right?" Hazel's eyes are wide as he speaks and Archer is sure he catches a glimpse of pink on the top of his cheeks under the mask.

"Right…" He's not sure where Hazel is taking this.

"But you treat me the way you do, yet you're helping me now…" Hazel's voice is just above a whisper when he goes silent, looking up at the veteran sniper.

Archer feels his body screaming at him, willing him to move and do something but before he can quickly shove it back he's rolled Hazel over onto his back. Archer has placed himself between the smaller mans' legs, propped up on one arm while his right hand reaches up. It folds the mask up until it's resting on Hazel's nose, their breath mingling for a few moments before Archer closes the distance.

It's soft and gentle at first, waiting for Hazel's reaction. Permission is given to do more when Hazel grips the sides of Archer's shirt pulling him down and opens his mouth. Archer takes it, slipping his tongue in the other man's mouth greedily. Hazel moans into the kiss, knees bending up, and hands slipping under Archer's shirt. The light touch sends a shiver through Archer and his own hands pull Hazel's shirt off hastily. His mask stays in place miraculously as Archer tosses the shirt aside, his mouth moving down to nip at flesh he'd never gotten to look at up close before. His tongue traces scars from cuts, burns, and gunshots. He commits them each to memory as the man under him squirms, gasping with his hands digging into Archer's shoulders. He pulls away long enough to toss his own shirt aside and presses their chests together as his lips capture another moan.

"This…" Archer mumbles between kisses, "Is why I act like I do to you." His mouth leaves Hazel's mouth to bite at his jaw, the beard rough against his tongue, "I can't control myself around you…" Another moan leaves Hazel's mouth as he pushes his hips up. A low groan escapes Archer's mouth as he pushes his own hips down, "I can't be composed around you. I can't stop."

Hazel looks at Archer, eyes blown with desire, "Then don't stop." He doesn't know what made him say it but it seemed like the right thing to do. He didn't want anything to stop, he wanted more. Archer gave it to him, a hand between them opening Hazel's pants as they kissed, Archer biting at his lips. A hand reaching low between Hazel's legs and Archer messages him gently, waiting before gently pushing a finger inside.

A deep moan reaches Archer's ears urging him on as he slips in a second and eventually a third finger. Hazel is squirming underneath him, pushing his hips up, fingers drawing red lines down Archer's body. Hazel eventually, through his desire drunken haze, slips a hand into Archer's pants, and starts jerking his hand. Archer captures his mouth again, moaning loudly, hips pushing down into the touches. Eventually Hazel's movements become erratic, gasping as his hands move to dig his fingernails into Archer's back.

"Fuck!" His forehead pressed between the crooks of Archer's neck, Hazel stiffens, groaning with his eyes closed tightly. It almost sounds like a sob as he collapses back against the ground but when Archer sees his face, he knows it's the opposite. He's trying to calm his heart beat, body shivering as Archer pulls his hand back, his arm and the bottom of Hazel's stomach sprayed with white.

"Are you okay?" Archer asks quietly, leaning forward and sucking on Hazel's ear lobe.

"I think I'm gonna faint from how amazing that was… It's been so long since someone touched me like that…" Hazel lulls his head to the side, looking up into Archer's eyes.

Archer starts to laugh when his stomach drops as what has happened hits him and he pushes away from Hazel, standing up and closing his pants and grabbing his shirt back on, "We shouldn't have done that… I shouldn't have…"

"Look if you don't want this to turn into something, I'm cool with that. Just don't keep treating me like shit when I'm trying my fucking hardest out there." Hazel sighs, feeling a weight drop down on his chest as he can feel Archer regretting their actions. He didn't see what was wrong with what they'd done, it made him feel good like nothing else, but the other man obviously thought there was.

"It's not that… I do want something but…" Archer turns his back to Hazel while the smaller man is getting up, closing his pants and coming up behind Archer.

"Tell me, for Christ sake, fucking tell me instead of running off or telling me how pathetic I am… Stop making me feel like I'm worth nothing…" Hazel lets his head fall forward to press against Archer's back, hands reaching up and grasping the bottom of his shirt.

"You deserve better than me, than this… You're young, you're so fucking young mate. You shouldn't be shouldered with being a killer… You shouldn't want to be a killer…" Archer whispers, moving his hands to pull Hazel's away from him.

Before Archer can get a few more steps away Hazel steps in front of him, pulling his mask off; his facial scars visible. "Look at me! I was past being a killer when I came here, I'm a murderer! The people I've killed, the families I've destroyed! I do this because I'm fucking good at it and I'm not going to stop any time soon!" Archer tries to cut in but Hazel, in his newfound courage, shoves Archer back against a wall. "I may be young but I've seen things men way bigger and stronger than me would cry out for their mothers! These scars, they weren't from field wounds Archer, I was tortured! My team but my younger brother and I were killed and then we were tortured, for months! We didn't talk so my brother was killed in front of me! That's not including the fact I saw one of my older brothers killed not long after I had joined my old task force! I'm not some child Archer! I've seen things, I've done things, and I've had nightmares as my reality! I decide what I do and don't deserve!"

Face red with anger, chest heaving up and down, Hazel turns away pulling his mask down over his face and yanking his shirt on leaving Archer standing there in shock. He was too pissed to put the rifle away, knowing Archer would do it for him, and just wanted to get away from the man. For a moment he thought things would become better between them but it'd only gotten worse. How was he supposed to act around Archer now? He didn't know except for the throbbing pain in his chest, a lump in his throat, while tears threatened to fall. He rushed up the stairs of the barracks, slamming his door behind him. He tosses the dirtied shirt into a corner having cleaned his stomach with it, falling into his desk chair letting his arms fold up before resting his forehead against them. When his breathing has started to settle, the anger still there under the surface, he sits up reaching for his journal. He wanted to write out just how much he hated this place. Draw a picture of Archer's face and write asshole all around it to release some of the pain but to his utter despair he didn't see his journal. Cursing aloud he checks his entire room twice before collapsing onto the floor, hands in his lap.

"Damn it…" He gives into the tears as they fall down soaking the mask. He'd lost the journal, not sure where it could even be. Last night he'd gotten it back, maybe it slipped out of his jacket when he was in MacTavish's office? With hope raising in him he quickly dries his face, pulling a new shirt on and bursts out of his room and straight into Roach.

"Hey! I was wondering where you were! You missed breakfast so I thought I'd bring you something since you didn't show up to lunch." Roach grins and hands Hazel a plate of food.

Hazel chuckles, stepping to the side and allowing his friend inside while going to the desk, "I didn't realize how hungry I was until you brought this." As if on queue Hazel's stomach growled aloud making the two men laugh.

"So I'm curious, why did you skip breakfast? I mean I know you go to lunch late because you prefer showering alone, but why this morning? Is it because of yesterday?" Roach asks as he plops down of the edge of Hazel's bed before stretching out on it, his feet dangling off the edge.

Hazel shrugs through a mouthful of food, sitting at his desk, and takes a moment before speaking, "I woke up late; had trouble sleeping." It wasn't a complete lie, he had gone to sleep at a decent hour but his dreams had been plagued with nightmares. It was only because of Archer making noise as he readied that Hazel woke up. He wasn't about to tell Roach that though, good forbid he would ask a hundred questions that he wasn't ready to speak about. Especially concerning that jerk.

Roach hums quietly before turning over and watching Hazel eat, "So I had another question, if you don't mind me asking?"

Food stuffed in his mouth, Hazel nods his head for Roach to continue.

"Why did you get so angry with Meat about the journal? From what he was telling everyone is that it was mostly just about missions."

Freezing, mouth open with his fork risen up, Hazel turns to look at Roach, "He's telling everyone what he read in there?"

Roach shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal though for Hazel it was, "Yeah, talking about some guys you mentioned over and over again. They couldn't remember the names except that Joseph guy, was he your brother?"

Hazel's face grows dark as he sets the fork down, no longer wanting to eat. A deep growl leaves the back of his throat as he shoots up out of his seat to go find Meat. Roach calls after him, rushing to get in front of him. He shrinks back with the glare Hazel gives him putting his hands up defensively.

"Look, I know you're pissed but if you go and do something MacTavish is going to have your hide. Hell, you could get demoted or even worse, get kicked out."

"He has no business telling anyone about what was in that journal! He shouldn't have even fucking read it in the first place!" Hazel snaps.

"I know, I know. Trust me, I know. But you can't just go and start a fight with him mate. MacTavish already gave his say on the matter last night, there's nothing more you can do."

"He has a point." Hazel whips around to see Archer standing in his doorway leaning against the frame, "You can't do anything about it. I do suggest to you though Roach, you shouldn't have brought it up with Hazel. I mean, you were reading it over Meat's shoulder so you're not completely innocent either."

Roach puts his hands up again shaking his head, "Hey, I didn't mean to. He had it out and I didn't realize what it was before I'd already read a few pages."

"A few pages?" Hazel turns on his heels to look back at Roach and he can't hide the hurt in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Hazel, I didn't mean to, I swear."

Hazel just shakes his head, shoulders slumping as he resigns himself back to his room. He locks the door with a soft click and disregarding the food that's left, curls up in his bed.

o0o

Hazel woke to someone knocking on his door, "Go away."

"It's time for dinner mate, stop being a pansy and come eat." Archer's British accent cuts through him.

"Go fuck yourself, 'mate.'"

"At least let me in so we can talk."

"I said go fuck yourself."

"Don't be like that Hazel. I just want to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you. You're the hugest fucking asshole I've ever known! I should've gone downstairs earlier to kick Meat's ass. At least then I could have been transferred to somewhere that doesn't have you."

Archer sighs before speaking again, "You left your journal in my room, it must have slipped out when you were sleeping… I didn't read it."

Hazel jumps out of bed, opening the door quickly to grab the journal in Archer's outstretched hand, "I couldn't find it earlier I thought I'd dropped it in MacTavish's office…"

Archer opens his mouth to say something but Hazel quickly steps back, shutting and locking the door, "Damn it Hazel!" Archer pounds a fist into the door.

"Just because you brought it back doesn't mean I want to talk to you!" Hazel goes to his desk, pulling a pen out, gingerly setting the dog tags aside.

"You need to eat." Archer sighs, a soft thump indicating he's put his forehead to the door.

"I have some left over from when Roach brought me lunch."

"That's not enough… I'll bring you a plate later…"

"Don't, I can get my own food if I want it."

"Fuck, whatever. I wanted to apologize but screw that!" Archer slams a fist into the door in frustration. Turning on his heels he heads downstairs to the mess hall.

Scarecrow sits down across from him with a stern look on his face, "Hazel isn't coming for dinner? I heard he got pretty upset with Roach."

Archer keeps his eyes cast down at his food, "Yeah, Roach mentioned how Meat was telling the others about what was in the journal. I mentioned how Roach had read too and he said he'd read a few pages before he'd realized it was Hazel's. Needless to say, Hazel wasn't too happy about that."

Scarecrow nods his head slowly before speaking again, "What about the talk between you and Hazel?"

Archer shoots Scarecrow a look, "I told you I'm not talking to you about this."

"Well get over it because I know what you did and how he reacted. You're doing a lot of damage."

Archer almost drops his fork as he looks across the table at Scarecrow, "What do you mean what I did?" His eyes search the other man's face, trying to read him. Give him some kind of indication that it wasn't what he was thinking. As Scarecrow started to talk again his stomach sank.

"At the range, I was looking for Hazel to see if he wanted to join me for lunch. See how he was doing; you seemed to beat me to it. And then some."

Archer averted his eyes and ate in silence, thinking on what Scarecrow had said. So someone had heard them during their little act. Would Scarecrow tell someone? He didn't seem like the type to do so but now Archer knew the man wouldn't drop the subject. He cared about the younger American and had spoken to Archer several times previously about the way he was treating Hazel. The two had known each other before joining the force but they never talked about it and Scarecrow never pushed him to speak with him.

"Look, you don't want to talk about it with me, fine. But that man has gone through too much to have to deal with your shit. There's a lot he still hasn't told you that I know plague him during the day and at night. Try and talk with him, normally."

Archer looks up and sighs, "I tried to get him to come get dinner but he shut me out."

Scarecrow can't help but laugh at Archer's tone, "What the hell did you expect after earlier? You're spinning him around in circles and he doesn't know what to do." Before Archer can say anything else Scarecrow lifts his tray and leaves the other man to sit and think. When he was finished eating he headed out to the barracks, wanting the day to be done with. On his way up the stairs he sees Hazel coming down, presumably to go get dinner, and when he tries to talk Hazel shoves past him not speaking a word. Groaning in irritation Archer goes up to his room.

Hazel makes his way, still pissed off, to the mess hall where he decides to sit with Scarecrow, Ozone, Chemo, Peasant, Robot, and Zach. Sitting down between Ozone and Chemo he asks them what they're talking so intently about.

"So, this idiot," Ozone shoves his fork in the direction of Zach, "is rooting for Nebraska to win against Wisconsin. I mean they haven't been in the Big Ten very long. Wisconsin has won every single time so far."

Hazel snorts, "Hell yeah they'll win! Go Cornhuskers my man, this is the year Nebraska wins." Hazel grins and fist bumps with Zach who's nodding his head.

"The FNG is right, go Cornhuskers!" Zach laughs as Ozone shakes his head.

"Whatever man, are you willing to bet money on that?"

"I am." Hazel pulls out his wallet and slaps a fifty dollar bill on the table, "Don't cry when you lose though."

Ozone pulls out his own wallet, "I'll make sure to bring you some tissues when you lose."

Zach pulls out his wallet as well, "Let's make it a hundred!"

"Shit, you boys really want to just hand your money away like that?" Ozone grins and slaps another fifty onto the table, "Fine by me."

Hazel pulls another fifty out and pushes it to the middle of the table, "Watch the game together in the rec room this Saturday? My brother always streams the games for me or sends me a recording if I miss them."

"I'm gonna join in, let's go Wisconsin." Scarecrow grins, reaching and slapping a hundred dollar bill in the pile.

Hazel opens his mouth and stares at Scarecrow like he'd just slapped him, "Dude! After all we've gone through together you're gonna side with this guy?"

"Sorry little man, but Nebraska is going to get their asses handed to them." Scarecrow smirks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Them fighting words there, you should watch it." Hazel shakes his head, flipping Scarecrow the bird, "I see how it is mate."

"Oh see and reap because you're getting your ass handed to you too if you keep that finger up." Scarecrow playfully threatens.

Hazel rolls his eyes before putting his hand down, "Dude, you wish. I wiped the floor with your ass back when we were under General Mallet, I'll do it again."

"Oh shit." Peasant chuckles looking between Hazel and Scarecrow, "Old rivalry sparking fire, we going to see you two go at it?"

"Probably shouldn't, Captain is looking this way." Chemo comments, glancing up from the weapons magazine he's reading. "Don't want to get on his bad side for a second day in a row FNG."

Hazel glances over at where Ghost, MacTavish, and Roach are sitting to see Chemo is right. MacTavish is eyeing the group wearily, "Yeah, we'll settle this in hand-to-hand combat training."

Scarecrow shrugs his shoulders, "I had to go easy on you back then with your dad watching over my shoulder. I'll kick your ass this time without daddy or your big bad brothers breathing down my neck."

"I resent that!" Hazel huffs, "You went easy on me back then because of them? Hell I could kick Adam and Gabe any day of the week, even if they were older. They were probably more concerned with me kicking your ass!"

"Oh snap!" Peasant laughs, putting a hand to his chest as he leaned back in his seat, "Looks like we got ourselves a feisty FNG! Robot, I don't know about you, but I'm betting that Hazel wins."

Robot grins, "I think I'll go for Scarecrow. The man is a badass for a reason."

"I'm on Hazel's side, us Cornhusker fans got to stick together." Zach grins giving Hazel a high five. "Kick his ass man. Show him whose boss!"

"Hey." Everyone jumped in their seats and looked to see Ghost standing over them, his arms folded across his chest, "Just who is kicking whose ass?"

No one says anything, glancing amongst them until Chemo sighs heavily and sets the magazine down, "Hazel and Scarecrow want to go at it at the next hand-to-hand combat practice. Scarecrow says he used to go easy on Hazel because of his older brothers and dad watching over them."

Ghost nods his head slowly, "Alright, I'll make sure to pair the two of you up." He starts to turn away but pauses, "I'm betting Hazel wins." With that he walks away, the guys looking at each other before laughing loudly.

"Holy crap I thought he'd get pissed!" Peasant slaps his knee shaking his head with a huge smile plastered on his face.

"I'm upset he thinks I'm going to lose!" Scarecrow huffs pushing his empty tray away, "Seriously, I can easily kick Hazel's ass."

"The lieutenant thinks otherwise." Hazel grins, "Well I'm done. I'm gonna go run a few laps around the track before bed; any takers?"

Everyone eyes him like he's stupid before Ozone speaks up, "You train with a ridiculous schedule."

"Never want to get stuck somewhere and not be able to run the distance between you and safety, you'll want to train the same amount as me after that happens." Hazel shrugs his shoulders leaving the others to think about what he'd just said as he drops the dishes off in the kitchen before heading out to the track.

To his surprise he finds Ghost doing push-ups, "Sir?"

Ghost doesn't pause as he continues, "Yeah?"

"You don't usually come out here this late." Hazel stops a few feet away beside the track and starts stretching out.

"I wanted to talk to you, figured this would be the best time." Ghost states as he finishes and jumps up to his feet.

"About?" Hazel waits for Ghost to step beside him on the track before they start jogging.

"About what happened with Meat, I talked to MacTavish after you left and heard from Roach that you're not talking to him now." Ghost turns his head towards Hazel for a moment before looking forward again.

Hazel chuckles before speaking, "I don't want to talk about Meat, I'm still fucking pissed off at him… As for Roach, I'm hurt but I'll get over it. He said he didn't mean to read it not knowing it was mine."

"Do you believe him?"

"I guess…"

Ghost stops briefly, waiting for Hazel to stop and look back at him, "If you trust him, believe him."

Hazel nods his head, "I trust him… So yeah, I'll talk to him tomorrow during training."

Ghost nods his head in approval before jogging again, Hazel keeping pace. "He was hurt you didn't sit with us at dinner."

"I wanted to sit with the other guys, talk some bullshit. Which we did, made a bet about a college football game. That and now I'm gonna wrestle with Scarecrow. It's been a long time since we've gone at it."

"You two served together before coming here?"

Hazel nods his head, "Yeah, we were in the same unit when he was recruited to join the 141. I was later moved to a task force that my father had created. I was the XO there for some time before being transferred here."

"But you're not a lieutenant, why didn't you get promoted?"

"You're pretty talkative compared to your usual self." Hazel glances at Ghost.

Ghost chuckles, the grin of the skull making Hazel suspicious of the man's motives, "I'm just curious what you're made of mate. After the incident with Meat, I want to make sure you're not going to go and do something stupid as hell. It's my job as the XO here."

Hazel nods his head slowly before answering Ghost's question, "Alright… I didn't get promoted because I became temporary XO after I had been rescued. Things had really hit the fan after me and my team got ambushed. The same group that we'd been after had sent in a team that attacked the base. We lost a lot of men that day. The toll was hard on my older brother Gabe, he was the Lieutenant. He blamed himself and it put a strain on the members that were still alive. In the end, while I was captured, my twin brother killed in the ambush, younger brother killed while prisoners, Gabe took his life. He still blamed himself for our other brother Adam's death. It happened not long after the task force had been created; the group we were ordered with dealing with got Adam during a scouting mission."

Ghost didn't say anything, just kept jogging beside Hazel before the smaller man decided to continue speaking.

"My oldest brother, Michael headed a rescue mission when they finally got a lock on my location. That was six months after I'd been taken. Once back on base, we were in shambles; my dad was laid up in a hospital from the attack, most members still licking their wounds. Michael got hurt during the rescue, forcing him to rely on a cane that he'll need to use for the rest of his life. It was bad… I had to step up and take control. Being a Mallet, the men listened even if they were a higher rank than me."

"What happened with the group that had attack you guys?"

Hazel grinned under his balaclava, "We killed them. Every single one of those sons of bitches, I made sure of it. We bathed in their blood and howled at the moon."

Ghost nods his head, seeing out of the corner of his eye the glint sparking in Hazel's eyes with joy in his voice. It made Ghost a little unsettled but he pushed it aside knowing Hazel had to find some way to deal with what he'd gone through. If finding pleasure in the things he's done helps him, Ghost wasn't going to judge him for it. He himself took comfort in torturing people for information, making the whole world disappear but him and his victim, "Run the last few laps?"

"Last few, what you're gonna quit so soon? Can't handle it?" Hazel laughs as he takes off running making Ghost have to catch up to him.

_Hazel's Journal Entry_

_ I talked to Archer today, that fucking bastard… I thought things were finally smoothing out between us. Hell, with what his hand was doing, his lips on mine, I was sure things would change but I was wrong. I'm always fucking wrong…_

_ Meat took my journal yesterday; I got in deep shit with MacTavish, told me I could kiss my next leave away that I'd be staying behind cleaning the whole base from top to bottom._

_ Still, seeing Meat with my journal, I was so fucking scared. It was like I was back in that white room, strapped to that metal chair with a piece of leather in my mouth to stifle my screams as they carved my face open… I miss Jacob; he knew how to help me when I didn't know what to do. The fucking goof never had a serious bone unless I was upset and damn I could use that bone right about now. I wonder what the guys are doing, Jacob teasing Joseph about his shitty shooting; Gabe and Adam arguing about what scope was better with some gun or another? I miss them so much… Even Michael, the fucking hard ass of us boys never cared for our antics but he always had our backs. Even if we had pulled some prank on him he was there, saving our asses. I guess pulling me out of that prison was his final rodeo._

_ Dad sent me a letter talking about Michael thinking about retiring and spending time with mom. She's been sick for so long, missing her sons that would never come home asking about what was cooking for dinner. She never was right after Adam died and when the others died… I shudder remembering the sight of her falling to the ground screaming and crying. Telling me it was my entire fault… I never meant for them to die… It's my fault though… right?_

_ I can still feel the sting of her hand slapping my face when I told her I would be joining the 141. She wanted me to come home with Dad's force being all but wiped out; she didn't want me to chance it with another force. Even if she blamed me for everything she couldn't take the thought of losing me… I can't just sit back though, knowing I could be out making a difference in the world. I have to do something, I have to keep moving._

_ I have a mission, a goal, a way of living that I'm not ready to give up yet._

_ I just hope I don't dream about seeing Jacob on top of me, protecting me from mortar fire, blood spewing out of his mouth, Joseph smiling up at me before a bullet ends his life… I can only handle so much but I swore on Jacob's tombstone that I wouldn't give in. Even if I destroyed myself in the process, I'll keep going…_

_ You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become your worst enemy. – (I don't remember who said that, well it was something like that, but they were smart…)_

\- _James Mallet, forth son of the Mallet boys_

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! But wow, back story on Hazel, James Mallet. Archer is just so distraught with wanting Hazel but not sure what to do after he gives in. Scarecrow knows what's going on between the two and wants to protect Hazel as much as he dare step in. And Ghost! God I love Ghost. He's showing interest in Hazel seeing a similar spirit through their horrible past experiences. Granted I know Hazel's isn't as bad as Ghost's but still… Anyways this is long, so I really hope you liked it and continue to read when I post more chapters! Also what do you think about adding Hazel's journal entries?**


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Hazel speaks as little as possible to Archer as he can. Only saying what was needed then ignoring him the rest of the time. He thought it was agonizing until Ghost said they'd be working the pit as well. Grumbling under their breath the men left the range and lined up waiting to be called to run the pit. We were all exhausted, covered in sweat and dirt, when Ghost let them go.

Not wanting to eat covered in dirt and paint from the paintball guns lined up throughout the pit, Hazel dragged his feet to the showers with the others.

"Hey Hazel, I wanted to ask you about something."

Hazel turns his head to see Robot beside him, "Yeah?"

"I was wondering what you meant yesterday, about not making the distance to safety?" Robot shoves his hands in his pockets.

Hazel shrugs his shoulders with a small smile on his lips under his mask, "Well, I had about thirty feet left to run to get to the helicopter on this one mission and I messed up the jump."

Robot looks at him with wide eyes, "Seriously? What happened?"

Chuckling Hazel puts his own hands in his pockets acting nonchalant about it, "I fell about six feet off a building and my leg got caught on the ladder stopping me from falling to my death. I was laid up for weeks after that. Nearly tore my knee apart."

"That's fucking insane!" Robot shakes his head with his own chuckle, "Maybe you are badass enough to kick Scarecrow's ass."

"I heard that!" Scarecrow yells, a ways back walking with Archer; Hazel wondered what they were talking about.

"I'm confident I can." Hazel waves a hand at Scarecrow, "Be prepared."

"Oh god, did you seriously just quote The Lion King to me?" Scarecrow looks at Hazel with an eyebrow raised, "I am disappointed in you."

"I'm jealous." Robot shakes his head, "To be able to quote Scar like that. Though Hazel, Scar loses so you might want to quote Simba instead."

"I'm too evil to be Simba." Hazel laughs, holding the door to the barracks open for Robot and Scarecrow to pass through.

"Thanks..." Archer mumbles under his breath when Hazel decides to keep it open for him as well, arm outstretched as he's standing inside already, back facing Archer.

"Whatever." Hazel hurries back up to Robot, "So listen, I wanted to ask you about something."

"Now I'm being questioned?" Robot shakes his head in disapproval, "What's on your mind kid?"

"It's important man, like super fucking important. Life or death shit." Hazel says with as serious of a tone as he can muster despite laughing on the inside.

"I get it, what's so important?" Robot looks at him with concern, worry in his eyes.

"Who are you picking to win? Nebraska or Wisconsin?"

Robot pauses mid step, almost tripping when Scarecrow bumps into him. Straightening himself out he gives Hazel a stern glare, "I was actually fucking worried for a moment there... A football game? Really? Life or death? Man, you seriously worry me."

Hazel laughs, putting a hand on his stomach as even Scarecrow is giving him a stern look, recovering from bumping into Robot, "Oh come on! I'm being serious! Who do you pick?"

"For worrying me, Wisconsin." Robot grins as Hazel gasps putting his hands over his heart.

"I'm heartbroken!"

"I'll vote Nebraska." Hazel turns to see Roach approaching, a small smile on his lips, "Can we talk?"

Hazel nods his head, "Yeah, I meant to talk to you during training but I didn't get the chance."

Roach nods and the two hang back out in the hall while the others enter the shower room. It takes several minutes before they're alone, some of the guys taking their time and in no big rush. When they're alone Roach shuffles his feet nervously, hands behind his back. He looks like a small child that's done something wrong and is scared to be reprimanded.

"I'm sorry!" They both say at the same time and they look at the other, eyes wide before starting to laugh.

"Why are you sorry?" Roach finally asks when he gets control of himself to a small snicker.

"I shouldn't have gotten upset at you. I trust you Roach. I do. And if you say you didn't mean to then I believe you. You're my best friend here. I can't lose you over this." Hazel averts his gaze as he speaks, nervous to see Roach's face as he talks.

Roach is grinning and he pulls Hazel into a hug, "Buddy! I'm so happy we aren't going to fight! I was really upset that I hurt you… I didn't mean to." Roach steps back, hands on Hazel's shoulders and gives him a sincere smile.

Hazel grins under his mask and pats Roach's shoulder, "Now come on, we fucking stink. Let's get cleaned up."

Roach laughs, grabbing the end of his nose between two fingers, "Very true, you do fucking stink."

"You do too!" Hazel shakes his head and pushes the door open making his way to his locker.

"You stink worse than me!" Roach grins, punching Hazel's shoulder playfully before heading off to his own locker.

Several of the guys haven't made it into the showers yet, leaning against lockers or sitting on the benches talking about any and everything. Opening his locker Hazel frowns not seeing any clean clothes but just a towel. Shrugging his shoulders, he undresses tossing his dirty clothes in the hamper and with his towel wrapped around his waist, balaclava still on, heads into the shower room. He picks an empty stall in the middle of several empty ones, hanging his towel on the edge of the waist high dividers. The water is cool against his chest as he stands there, letting it roll down his body before turning and letting it hit his back. He turns back around, grabbing soap and begins scrubbing off the grime and sweat from the training.

"Do you always shower with your mask on?" Roach hangs his towel and turns the water on in the stall to Hazel's right.

"No, but since I'm around the guys I figure I'll leave it on until the last minute, wash my face and neck, and head back to my room." Hazel scrubs at something black that got smeared over his arms during the pit.

"What about lunch?" Roach steps under the water letting his head hang forward.

"I'll get something to eat once I'm dressed." Hazel says quietly, not wanting anyone to hear. If some of the guys find out he'd forgotten his clothes they'd probably steal all his towels and force him to walk upstairs naked. They did it before when he was showering alone and Jester had snuck in and taken his towels and clothes. It was pretty embarrassing having to explain himself to MacTavish who had been searching for Ghost who lives on the fifth floor. He couldn't look the captain in the face for weeks after that.

"Dude, that's funny." Roach grins at him wickedly, "Hope nothing happens to your towel."

Hazel rolls his eyes, "I'll just have to squash a roach if something does happen."

The two laugh and Hazel finishes scrubbing paint off and removes his mask, setting it on top of his towel. Stepping under the water he lets the water drench his hair and face, scrubbing with soap gently before rinsing. Turning the water off he grabs his towel, drying his hair as much as he can before pulling his mask back on.

"So why do you wear the mask?" Roach asks as he finishes, wrapping his towel around his waist.

"It was something my older brothers started, my twin and I decided to get our own masks when we joined up and it just kind of stuck with me till now." Hazel wraps his towel around his waist, tying the ends together.

"Did they have the same design?"

"No, my twin had the same but opposite direction, Gabe had lines going straight down, Adam had lines going straight across, and Michael had a white 'X' with a red line going down the middle. Our younger brother Joseph had a red 'X'." Hazel shrugs his shoulders, "We didn't want to have the same masks. Try and be individualistic but at the same time look similar. The rest of the task force ended up copying us, it was pretty funny seeing them wear masks similar to ours, but the red stripes were white, white were red. You could tell who they reported to based on which mask they were like."

"So you commanded men?"

"Yeah, me and my twin co-commanded. Our younger brother Joseph was the only one who didn't lead. He was either following me and Jacob or Gabe."

Roach nods his head, "I just learned so much about you."

Hazel laughs crossing his arms over his chest as he stops next to Roach's locker, "Yeah, I guess so huh. Well I'm okay with telling you. Like I said, I trust you."

Across the locker room Archer is toweling dry, glancing over at Hazel. He can't help but remember having the smaller man pinned beneath his body, hands and mouth roaming and exploring all those scars. He curses lightly under his breath, feeling his body starting to react and quickly pulls pants on to hide his growing hard on. He pulls on a clean shirt, running a hand through his hair.

"It's not good to stare. Someone is going to notice."

Archer almost jumps up in surprise turning around to see Scarecrow, arms folded over his chest, eyes narrowed, "What the hell man… You're really starting to piss me the fuck off."

"Like I care." Scarecrow turns and walks away.

Archer grumbles yanking his boots on before heading to the mess hall.

o0o

Hazel gasps as he comes to a stop, leaning forward with his hands on his knees, "Fuck…"

"That was a pretty impressive time." Ghost steps out of the shadows, the moonlight making the skeletal grin look frightening.

"I've done better." Hazel straightens up, exhaling deeply with his head tilted up towards the sky, "I'm distracted, I about fell on my face a couple of times."

"By what?" Ghost resets the handheld timer handing it over to Hazel.

"I don't even know where to begin…" Hazel steps off the track and waits for Ghost to get in position at the starting line. "It's complicated."

"Mate, aren't most things?" Ghost chuckles before taking off, Hazel hitting the start button on the timer.

He moves down to a sitting position, crossing his legs as he watches Ghost. The lieutenant has been joining him for the past week doing endurance training once the sun has set. It was refreshing. They never really talked except to insult the other to push themselves harder past their limits. It was a relief for Hazel compared to dealing with Archer. Granted he hasn't pulled any more stunts Hazel could feel eyes on him, knowing it was Archer, and would glare at the man. It was amusing to see the man become flustered at being caught, a blush creeping up his neck, but it didn't change Hazel disliking the man. He just couldn't wait for Toad to return from London.

"Slow!" Hazel yells out as Ghost runs past him and gets the bird flipped at him.

"You were slower!"

"Whatever!" Hazel chuckles, deciding to stretch his legs out in front of him and when Ghost finally finishes he collapses on the ground lying on his stomach next to him.

"What was my time?" He mumbles, face turned into the ground muffling his voice more so Hazel has to lean in close to hear.

"Not bad. About the same as mine, a bit faster though. Jealous."

Ghost laughs rolling onto his back, "I would be too if I was as slow as you."

Hazel rolls his eyes, "You're jealous you're not as cool as me."

"I beat you in being cool by leagues mate. You'll never catch up." Ghost pulls his mask off setting it on his knee as he sits up, "How is your jaw?"

Hazel snorts, yanking his own mask off showing the deep purple bruise on the left side of his jaw and cheek, "It still hurts… A fucking cheap shot!"

"He still kicked your ass. I lost about nineteen euros, you know how annoying that is?" Ghost complains.

"Yeah right, you know it was worth it." Hazel drops his mask in his lap.

"So what are we going to do now?" Ghost looks over at Hazel, sunglasses still on but he can feel those cool blue eyes staring at him.

"I'm not going to be able to fall asleep yet, thinking about running some more. Let off some steam."

Ghost nods his head slowly, "Still having trouble going to sleep?"

"Yeah, I keep having nightmares." Hazel pulls his mask back on, standing up with a groan, "God my body is sore."

"Want to talk about it?" Ghost stays sitting, looking up at Hazel, watching him.

"Not really. I've talked so much about myself this week about being back at the old force. I'm exhausted from it all." Hazel stretches, popping his shoulders and back.

Nodding Ghost silently gets up and heads towards the barracks leaving Hazel alone.

Jumping in place a few times Hazel starts down the track, head turned down. The week had taken its toll on him. Emotionally he was on the edge, talking about his brothers wasn't something that came easy to him. Every time he brought up Jacob it felt like he was losing his brother all over again. His other half. He wants to let Roach and Ghost in, the two obviously caring for him, but then of course others would ask questions too. Then he had to be careful what he said to avoid certain questions. It didn't help with Meat, Worm, and Jester acting hostile towards Hazel trying to push him over the edge.

Groaning in frustration as his mind won't settle down, Hazel yanks his mask off, moving through the base towards the pt course. Shoving his mask into a pocket he gets a running start before jumping up the rock wall, reaching a hand up and using his momentum to swing further up the wall. Once at the top he grabs the rope between his fingers, rappelling down, his hands growing hot by the time his boots touch the ground. Quickly turning around he sprints forward, jumping over and under the next obstacle. He ignores the burn of his tired body as he runs through the tires then the ropes, moving left and right as he moves forward. At the next obstacle he has to climb up a wall using a rope and at the top he slides down a metal pole. He lands harsh, almost falling back, but through the exhaustion he sprints and hits the ground crawling under barbed wire. At the other side, his whole front covered in mud, he starts sprinting between cover, moving forward each time, his back slamming hard into the wooden barriers. At the other side he springs straight forward and forces his tired arms to pull him up the rope net to the top. By the time he stops he collapses to the ground, the grass tickling his face as he gasps for air, body screaming.

"I was wondering how many times you were going to run that." Hazel turns his head to see Archer standing a few feet away.

"Come to force me to listen when I can't run away?" Hazel scoffs, watching as Archer approaches and sits down on the ground, his back to him.

"I tried going to your room but when you didn't answer I figured maybe you were out here." Archer leans forward, arms resting against his folded legs.

"I'll have to find a new hiding spot then."

Archer takes a deep breath letting out a sigh, "I wanted to apologize… I still do…"

Hazel turns his head to look at Archer, brows furrowed, "And I'm supposed to just accept it? Act like nothing happened?"

Archer slaps a hand to his face, groaning, "No! I don't want that… I want you to accept my apology but I don't want to act like nothing happened… I want to…"

"Start fresh like you never treated me like shit?"

"Hazel…"

"What!" Hazel can't help the irritation and anger showing in his voice.

Archer turns around, looking down at the smaller man. Hazel looks back, noticing the hurt in the other man's eyes, eyes he never noticed before were a light brown with golden flakes. It took Hazel's breath away as the light post cast shadows across his face. It captivated him. Slowly he made his tired body sit up.

"Why can't we just talk?" Archer sounds like he's about to cry, his mouth open slightly like he's going to start talking again but he looks away. Hazel isn't sure what to say, he doesn't know how to react to seeing the man like this. After a while Archer finds his voice again, "I'm not good at this… I don't… Last time I opened up… It wasn't pretty. Toad had to drag me back from bars, I would be so plastered he'd have to practically drag me back to base. Then he had to keep it a secret from the others, for my sake he said. Didn't want me to lose respect or something. Told me I just needed some time to process it all but, I don't know. I've never exactly had a support group before Toad."

Silence engulfs them, the only sound are the night bugs buzzing about. Archer is trying to stifle a sob but Hazel can see his body shaking, back heaving up and down with quick breaths. Hazel shakes his head, pulling back a hand he'd started to reach out, and sits with his legs crossed. Trying to distract himself he starts fiddling with the grass, plucking a few pieces from the ground and tearing them apart. He doesn't know what to say and though he wants to reach out and comfort Archer, he was hurt by the man and he wasn't sure he was ready to open up.

A light clicks in his head and hesitantly, he clears his throat, "I'm not sure I'm ready to open up."

Archer nods, his back still to Hazel, "I feel the same… But then, when I see you, I can't usually control myself."

"I know."

"What do we do then?"

"We wait until we're ready."

"How long is that going to take?"

"As long as it needs… Let's go back inside. I need to shower." Hazel pushes himself from the ground reaching a hand down to Archer.

Archer takes it and stands up only an inch away from Hazel, their breath mingling in a small cloud in the cool air. Before Archer can process their proximity Hazel is turning away, waving a hand for Archer to follow him. Eagerly, he gets in step next to Hazel and they silently make their way through the dark, the moonlight and spaced out light posts guiding them. Once inside, Hazel goes to his room, grabbing clean clothes, before heading to the showers. Archer goes to his room to sleep.

o0o

Hazel groans, rolling onto his side as his body screams at him, "Fuuuccckkkkk…." There's a knock on the door and with a string of curses he forces himself out of bed, "Who the hell is bothering me this early damn it!"

To Hazel's utter horror in front of him is Captain MacTavish, arms folded over his chest, "And just who do you think you're talking to mate?"

"Captain! So sorry, I thought you were one of the guys…" Hazel straightens up, "Training isn't for another half-hour, what can I do for you sir?"

"Just got a call from Shepherd, get Archer and head down to the briefing room. I need to round a few others up."

"Aye sir!" Hazel turns into his room, quickly getting dressed despite the protest of his sore body. Ready he jogs down the hall and knocks on Archer's door until the Brit opens, glaring.

His expression softens as he sees Hazel standing there, cheeks a light pink, "Captain needs us down in the briefing room."

Archer is already in his room getting ready and the two jog downstairs and across the grounds to the admin building, "Probably another mission like last time."

"I don't think so, Captain said he was getting a few others up before leaving me to get you." Hazel looks up at Archer, forgetting his soreness as he prepares himself mentally for the mission.

"We can handle whatever he's got." Archer says matter-of-factly, pushing the door open and heading down the hall to the briefing room.

"You guys are here too?" Chemo looks up from where he's slumped at the table, head lying on his folded arms.

"Yeah, what's going on?" Hazel sits next to Chemo with Archer sitting across from him.

"Something important enough to gather a good number of us." Dragon says as he steps through the door, Reaper following behind with a hand over his mouth as he yawns.

Jayhawk, Neptune, Wizard, Zeus, and Ghost walk in next followed by the captain. Everyone gets situated and MacTavish walks around to the front of the room, pulling up a map on the computer face in the table. Hazel frowns at it, not exactly happy that it's in Russia. A few others are making similar faces and Hazel notices Archer is watching him. He shrugs his shoulders and nodding his head slightly, he can do this.

"There's a base packed with intel and a huge weapons cache. Archer and Hazel, the both of you will be setting up here as Sniper Team One." MacTavish draws a circle with his finger making a red circle appear, "Get set up and give sniper support. The rest of you will be lead by Ghost, Alpha Six, to move in, infiltrate, and get what you can and destroying the rest. Rules of Engagement: shoot anyone that can jeopardize your position, try and stay under the radar as long as you can." The captain continues talking about the mission and at one point Hazel stops listening, staring down at the map committing it to memory. Where Archer and him were to be located, where the compound is compared to their location, and where the others would be. By the time MacTavish finally stops, he looks over all the men, his face stoic, "Good luck men, you have one hour to prepare what you need then plane lifting off."

Everyone left going to get ready and Hazel jogged with Archer up the stairs to their respective rooms where they changed into their winter white uniforms.

Ready before Archer, Hazel heads downstairs to the armory on the first floor.

Ghost steps in beside him on the stairs, "Are you worried?"

Hazel shook his head knowing he was talking about Archer and him, "We talked last night and I think things are a little better. It won't affect our performance in the mission if you're thinking that it might."

Ghost shook his head, pushing the door open that leads into the armory, "I'm not."

The two split up, Hazel heading to his weapons locker grabbing on his white equipment, pulling the white ghillie suit on, discarding his mask in the locker switching to a white one with the same three red stripes across the left side matching his real scars. He then grabs his custom white sniper rifle, disassembling, cleaning, and reassembling it. Not far from him Archer is doing the same, reassembling his rifle before looking over and nodding at Hazel.

"Ready mate?"

"I was born ready for this. Let's kill them all." Hazel bumps his right forearm with Archer's and the two head outside, the others ready and leaving the armory together as a group.

Many of the men are waiting by the plane to wish their brother-in-arms well as they climb in. They would normally be at training but MacTavish had been briefing them and Ghost was apart of the deploying team thus they had been free to roam. Once the plane has taken off MacTavish would herd the men off to training before he himself would have to go to the briefing room to watch over the mission, monitoring the radio.

o0o

Hazel stretches his legs out where he's sitting near the back of the plane, he's taken his ghillie suit off, putting it carefully in a backpack he has strapped to his chest. On his back is another backpack with a parachute. They'd be dropping down solo. He didn't have anything against it but it could make him uneasy. Next to him Archer is standing up leaning back against the wall, rifle sitting on the top of his left boot, hand wrapped around the barrel. Dropping down via parachute had the veteran sniper worried too it would seem. Get into a bad landing situation and the snipers could be without a weapon not carrying any other gun but their rifles. They had enough weight and aren't meant to be in the middle of the fight, adding another gun along with the heavy rifle wouldn't be pleasant for them.

"We're going to miss the game." Chemo sighs.

Hazel looks up, a frown on his face, seeing Chemo across from him, "I thought you didn't care?"

Chemo shrugged his shoulders, "Ozone won't shut up about it and was practically bouncing off the walls in anticipation. It got me interested. So far Nebraska hasn't won yet but I'm thinking this might be their year."

"Yeaaahhhh!" Hazel laughs, a huge grin plastered on his face, "That's my man Chemo. Nebraska is totally going to win this game!"

Chemo chuckles, shaking his head, "I hope you're not this loud when you're in the field."

"Oh he is." Archer groans, rolling his eyes when Hazel shoots him a glare, "Don't deny it. You like to talk. That and your insistent squirming like a small child."

"Whatever man, it gets hot in the suit, it sticks to me and makes me really uncomfortable." Hazel pouts, hugging his rifle to his chest.

"Everyone ready?" Ghost calls as he comes to the back of the plane from being in the front with Nikolai.

"Already here?" Reaper mumbles, stifling another yawn.

"Dude, keep yawning and you might not make the landing." Dragon laughs, nudging Reaper in the ribs, "We've been up here for hours, you should've taken a nap."

"I did." Reaper complains before growing serious as Ghost shoots the two men a look, the skull mask covering the man's frown.

"Get it together! Archer! Hazel! Get ready to drop!" Ghost turns his attention to Hazel and Archer.

Hazel jumps up from his seat, strapping his rifle snug and tight against him. Archer being a worrier, steps up into Hazel's space and tightens all of the straps more and checks his goggles. Satisfied he moves away from the smaller man who's now whimpering under his breath at the tightness constricting him but not enough to be a problem. Ghost calls to Nikolai and a few moments later the back opens as everyone grabs something to keep inside the plane. Through the radio in Hazel's ear he hears Ghost order Archer to jump and with a small salute Archer puts his back to the opened hatch and falls backwards, swept away into the white abyss of falling snow. A few moments later Hazel feels a hand on his shoulder and he nods, looking up at Ghost. It's his turn. Letting go of the strap he'd grabbed he waves a hand, running out the back of the plane, kicking off with his last step before he's falling, wind whipping at him as he spreads his arms and legs watching the ground grow closer.

When he's hit the right altitude he pulls the chute, body yanking upwards as the wind snaps the chute up. It doesn't take long, though it feels like forever to Hazel, that he's on the ground putting the chute away in the backpack and tossing it at a nearby tree, the white pack blending in with the snow. Unstrapping his rifle he takes off his second backpack, grabbing the ghillie suit out and pulling it on. Ready and with his rifle in hand he starts moving in the direction of where Archer and him would be meeting up at before moving into position.

It didn't take long to meet up with the veteran sniper, practically invisible in his winter ghillie suit, "Took you long enough."

Hazel rolls his eyes, "I went a bit to the east from where I had wanted to land. Fucking winterland out here…"

Archer motions for Hazel to follow, "Is your radio working? Ghost called out for everyone to report in, I didn't hear you."

Hazel furrows his brow, a hand running down his body to find his radio. To his dismay he finds the end of the wire but no radio at the end of it. It must have fallen off when he'd hit that tree. His body shivered involuntarily as he remembers swinging ten feet up in the air, struggling to get the chute off when the straps gave in and he fell hitting several branches on the way down. A few moments later the chute untangled from the tree and fall on top of him making him want to scream out in frustration but he'd kept quiet.

"Must have fallen off." He finally says when Archer glances back at him.

"How did that happen?"

"Well besides getting tangled in a tree and falling out of it when the straps broke, I'm not sure."

Archer stops in his tracks and looks at Hazel with a stern look, "Your straps broke?"

"After I hit a tree, yeah… Lucky they didn't break while I was in the air." Hazel shrugs his shoulders and keeps walking, "You should probably tell Ghost I'm alive."

Archer reports to Ghost, keeping pace with Hazel as they move forward rifles raised in their hands, "You're insanely lucky mate."

"I guess so." Hazel smiles to himself.

"Let's crawl the rest of the way." Archer raises his fist and motions to the ground.

Hazel nods his head, barely catching Ghost's voice through Archer's radio. Archer says something into the radio and keeps moving forward, their rifles across their arms as they crawl forward. When they get to a cliff Archer motions for Hazel to scan the area before they set up. He barely nods his head in acknowledgement before getting on one knee at the same moment Archer gets up and they scan the area.

"Clear right."

"Clear left. Let's step up."

"Right." Hazel moves to a group of rocks at the edge of the cliff, positioning himself between two so he's laying flat on the ground.

Archer moves to his right side, positioning himself in a kneeling position with his gun raised above the rocks, "Snipers in position. I repeat, Sniper Team One is in position. I see three, no four groups of tangos moving about the perimeter." Archer sees Hazel put his raised four fingers down to grip his rifle, "The east gate has two tangos on the ground, one in the tower above. At the west gate there are four tangos on the ground and two in the tower."

"Roger that, approaching from the east. Oscar Mike."

"Hazel."

"I heard, Alpha Six approaching from the east. I got them in my sight." Hazel watches down his scope.

"Get rid of those guards." Ghost calls through the radio.

"Get the guy in the tower, I'll get the two on the ground." Archer says, "On three." Hazel doesn't say anything but as Archer says three, muffled shots fill their ears as three shots are fired and all three tangos go down. "Patrol coming from the south."

"Got them in my sights. Reaper, move up."

The two snipers watch through their scopes as Reaper moves up and within moments the patrol is taken down. Hazel feels a smile on his lips. This was going to be a fun show.

"Another group of five tangos exiting the building." Archer calls over the radio.

Ghost quickly dispatches the men and the tangos are taken down while Hazel turns his attention to the rest of the building, "Archer, there's a glint on top of the building."

Archer turns his attention to the top of the building and notices it, "Enemy sniper on the roof. He hasn't noticed us yet." A few moments later there's a muffled gunshot and the sniper is dead, "Tango down. Safe to keep moving forward."

"Northeast corner tower, two tangos rising up."

"Take the left." Archer counts to three and the two men fall back into the tower.

"South and Southwest towers, take them out." Ghost calls over the radio.

"Take the Southwest."

Hazel nods his head, adjusting himself slightly before pulling the trigger several times, "Tangos down. Safe to move."

"Towers clear." Archer watches Ghost and the rest of the team move forward and breach the building.

"Keep the door open for us." Ghost calls before disappearing into the building with the team.

A silence falls over Hazel and Archer as the latter hears what's going on inside while Hazel scans the area. He's watching the other tangos but none of them get close enough to the back of the building to be a problem.

"We got the intel but no weapons cache in sight! Command, do you read? I repeat we got the intel but no weapons!" Ghost yells through the radio followed by gunshots.

"Copy that Alpha Six, drop charges and get the hell out of there." MacTavish calls through the radio.

"Get ready to cover their backs." Archer sets his sights on the open door the team had gone through.

"Tangos on the move to the back, silent alarm? They're aiming for the back door." Hazel readies himself to fire.

"Ghost hang back, enemies sighting the door!" Archer calls out and on the count of three starts firing at the group coming with Hazel giving supporting fire.

"We got to get out! We're getting swamped in here!" Ghost yells and a few moments later Jayhawk and Neptune burst through the door, guns blazing at the enemy quickly followed by the others.

"Watch for friendlies!" Archer calls out to Hazel, "Displacing! You'll be without sniper support for thirty seconds!"

Hazel jumps up the same moment Archer starts moving and the two move to the west, kneeling down on one knee, "Ready!"

"Ghost behind you guys!" Archer yells out shooting several tangos as they move towards the rest of the team.

"I got two snipers getting in position on top of the building." Hazel reloads his rifle, pointing it down momentarily.

"RPG!" Archer yells just as Hazel lifts his rifle back up and watches as it explodes causing the team to split into two groups.

"I got the left team! Displacing!" Hazel stands up and starts running to the left and getting in position to cover Jayhawk, Neptune, Wizard, and Chemo.

"Hazel is giving cover fire to your team Chemo! He doesn't have a radio so be careful once you guys get out of there! Don't shoot him!" Archer calls over the radio before displacing again to keep moving with Ghost's group.

o0o

"Fuck!" Chemo yells out, arms moving up to protect his face as another RPG hits the ground spraying him with debris. "Move, move, move!" He recovers his composure quickly before running forward firing and keeping the rest of the team ahead of him. He's about to shoot two tangos turning a corner when they drop down.

"Hazel is giving cover fire to your team Chemo! He doesn't have a radio so be careful once you guys get out of there! Don't shoot him!"

"Copy that!" Chemo calls back to Archer, skidding forward behind a truck for cover.

"Neptune is hit!" Wizard yells out from their position behind a concrete barrier, "It's his right arm!"

"Shoot with your left hand!" Chemo peers over the truck and takes down several enemies.

"They got mortars! Incoming!" Jayhawk yells over the gunfire, displacing forward, "Neptune, I got you covered!"

Neptune, blood staining his upper right arm, pistol in his left hand, runs and shoots.

"Wizard, come on!"

Wizard breaks from cover but only gets a few steps before the barrier explodes and he falls in an unmoving heap. Neptune calls out to him but when he doesn't answer they know he's gone. Chemo calls it over the radio before breaking his cover and getting to the others. Jayhawk is jumping up and down out of cover, firing at the enemy as they start advancing.

"Where's that cover fire!"

"Archer! Where's Hazel!" Chemo yells into his radio.

"I can't see him!" Archer calls back, "We split to cover both you and Ghost's team!"

Chemo curses under his breath and gives covering fire for Jayhawk who displaces forward towards the west gate. He's about to fire when again the men drop before he can pull his trigger. Yelling 'finally,' he nudges Neptune forward, running backwards with Neptune to Jayhawk's position.

There's a loud explosion and the three men turn around to see black smoke on the cliff, "Archer are you okay?"

"Yeah it was no where near me!" Archer's voice cuts through the yelling and gunfire coming from Ghost and his team, "Hazel's over there!"

"Damn it!" Chemo breaks cover and darts out of the west gate, turned around giving cover fire as Jayhawk and Neptune quickly follow. "We have to get up there! Hazel could have been hit!"

"I'll go ahead! I can't do much with my bum arm."

"Alright, Neptune get up there and report!" Chemo and Jayhawk keep firing at the enemy, tossing cooked grenades in the middle of their group. "Jayhawk, try and take out those RPG's!"

"Got it!"

"Mortar fire incoming!" Jayhawk dives to the side as the ground explodes between them.

"Pull back!" Ghost yells over the radios, "We're gonna blow this place to hell!"

"Let's go Jayhawk!" Chemo yells, his ears ringing as he pushes up from the ground.

Jayhawk follows close behind and as they start running into the woods, snow crunching under foot.

"I found Hazel!" Neptune's voice yells through all the noise, his voice cracking.

"Is he okay?" Archer asks.

The building explodes making it impossible to hear anything over the noise. The white snow is showered with black ash and smoke fills the air. The snowflakes now black as they fall giving the scenery an eerie look.

"Everyone alright?" Ghost breaks the temporary radio silence.

"Chemo and Jayhawk still breathing, headed your way." Chemo answers, helping Jayhawk to his feet.

"I can't see shit through the smoke! Wind blowing it over your position!" Archer calls out.

"Zeus and Reaper making our way back to you Ghost." Zeus calls over the radio.

"I'm coming up from the northwest to your position, be advised, don't shoot me." Dragon calls out, his voice strained.

"Neptune?" Chemo calls out, Jayhawk leaning against him, blood staining the man's leg.

"Code Red!" Neptune finally answers and in the background the others can hear Hazel screaming.

_Hazel's Journal Entry _

_It's been a few days since I've written in here. Things have been pretty crazy. I started opening up to Roach, telling him about Jacob and the others. I started crying when I talked about that last mission with him._

_I still remember it like it was yesterday. Moving through the woods to the safe house. It was so fucking quiet but I didn't even think about it. Then we were ambushed, mines and mortars going off all around us. At one point one went off close to me and when I hit the ground I thought a tree had fallen on me but it was Jacob. He had blood spilling from his mouth as he laid on top of me, tears streaming down his face. Just as Jacob took his last breath I fell unconscious, waking up I don't know how much later. Soldiers were all around us and I heard Joseph screaming. I fought the pain to get to him but I didn't get far, my body exhausted from blood loss, and I was knocked out by a group of soldiers that starting kicking and hitting me._

_I still remember being tied to that chair, staring down at Joseph, tears and pure alcohol making the cuts in my face burn, the man demanding I answer his questions. The smile Joseph gave me before he died._

_Michael saving me to find out three hundred men were now less than twenty left. Dad was in the hospital, not sure if he'd ever wake up. Six months of torture I was in the worst shape of my life._

_Three funerals to go to, one for Jacob, one for Joseph, and the third for Gabe who'd killed himself after they found Jacob's body._

_I'm so tired but I just keep dreaming about it… My old counselor said writing or talking about it would help but talking makes it worse. I guy I'll have to start writing this out for the next few weeks and maybe I'll be able to get a nights sleep…_

_\- James Mallet, fourth son of the Mallet boys_

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this new chapter! A bit of a cliff hanger, aren't I awesome! JKJK, anyways thank you every one of you who are reading this. I'll update soon again, I just have it all in my head and I just want to type it out already! I type fast but man I can't type as fast as it's coming in my mind! See you next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I somehow got a deep cut on my finger and it hurts like a mofo… Maybe I'm typing too fast? Is it possible to cut oneself while typing? Knowing me I just made it possible. Enjoy! 3**

"Talk to me, Neptune! What's happening!" Archer is yelling as he makes his way to Neptune and Hazel who he could still hear yelling over the radio.

"I can't find the source of the bleeding because of the ghillie suit! He won't stop moving!" Neptune is flustered as he tries desperately to stop the bleeding but Hazel isn't making it easy for him.

"Evac is on the way to Hazel and Neptune's position. We're on our way mate!" Ghost calls out, fighting back the panic going through him.

The rest of the team meets up moments later with Ghost, Jayhawk bleeding from a gunshot wound to his leg and Dragon covered in dirt and snow.

"You okay mate?" Ghost asks Dragon as he helps the man walk.

"I got hit pretty hard, RPG threw me up against a tree. Think I got a few broken ribs." Dragon coughs as Reaper comes up on Dragon's other side and taking his arm over his shoulder.

"I got him." Zeus comes up on Jayhawk's side and helps take some of his weight from Chemo.

"We got our fucking asses kicked." Chemo curses under his breath.

"We're not out of the frying pan yet." Ghost calls over his shoulder, "How's Hazel, Neptune?" He can't hear the man screaming over the radio anymore.

"He's not struggling as much; he's barely conscious. Archer just arrived, helping me patch Hazel as much as we can."

"He looks bad." Archer's voice is soft as he applies pressure on Hazel's side, "You got to stay awake mate. Stay with me, you're going to make it!"

Hazel's eyes are half hooded as he looks up at Archer. He know's it's Archer because of his voice but his vision is blurry, goggles destroyed when the mortar had exploded beside him. He couldn't move before three RPG's hit close by, heat waves washing over him singeing his clothes. Shrapnel and debris struck him in the chest, a piece of metal lodged in his stomach. He was sure he was bleeding from his head, Neptune had pulled his mask off and blood started to drip into his eyes. He wasn't sure what else was wrong but as blood bubbled out of his mouth nearly choking him, he knew things weren't good.

Archer is yelling at him to stay awake, shaking his shoulders as he spits out more blood. He wasn't trying to choke, he wanted air to fill his lungs but instead got blood making him shake violently. An agonizing scream tries to leave his mouth but it comes out garbled.

He doesn't know how long it is until he hears a distinct sharp British accent and Ghost is on the ground beside him. He's helping Neptune apply pressure around the shrapnel in Hazel's stomach.

"Hang in there mate! Archer get a hang of yourself! He's not going to die!" Ghost is yelling, his voice and mask hiding how he's feeling on the inside. He feels like he's a wreck, looking down at Hazel's bloodied body. There's so much blood on the ground, he wasn't sure how the man was still alive. Ghost is sure there's almost no chance Hazel will make it back alive. He'd called in Hazel's blood type so the Evac team could bring a few bags but if they didn't arrive soon… Ghost didn't want to think about it as he yells at Archer again as the man is sitting with his head in his hands mumbling under his breath. Chemo was at Hazel's legs tying off a gash down the man's leg and a nasty burn on his other leg. If it wasn't for the gasping and gagging sounds Hazel was making he would look dead.

"They're here!"

Ghost, Chemo, and Neptune look up from Hazel's body to see a pave low lowering down, back hatch opening as it lands. MacTavish and several men run out with a field stretcher, Doc running ahead of them.

"We got him, get the others inside!" MacTavish yells over the sound of the pavelow, pulling Ghost to his feet.

The lieutenant hesitates, reluctant to leave Hazel's side, but with a push from MacTavish he heads to the rest of the men. Within seconds everyone is inside, Doc giving orders as Hazel is brought on board and the pavelow takes off.

Archer is sitting against the wall, head back in his hands with one of the guys that had come with MacTavish asking him questions to assess if he had any injuries. Ghost goes over waving the man off knowing Archer wasn't suffering from anything physical. The man nods and heads to help out with Jayhawk and Dragon who are both getting assistance for their injuries. Zeus and Reaper are both sitting towards the front, both silent as they watch Doc and several others moving around Hazel. MacTavish has moved out of the way and gone to the front to speak with Nikolai about how much faster he could force the pavelow to go.

"It's my fault…" Ghost looks down to see tears falling down Archer's face, "I shouldn't have let him out of my sight… I should have told him not to run off, to stick together…"

Ghost sits down next to Archer, "You didn't know this would happen. You can't blame yourself for this. If anyone can blame themselves it's me, I led the mission."

"But no one is blaming anyone." MacTavish stands over the two men, handing them each a water bottle. "The only thing you need to worry about is your own health. Hazel is in the best hands he can hope for."

Archer doesn't react, staring down at his boots. Ghost shakes his head at MacTavish, taking both water bottles and shoving one into Archer's hands before standing and moving to watch Doc at work.

"What happened out there?" MacTavish stops beside Ghost, arms crossing over his chest.

"We were getting swamped sir. We had to get out of there asap. We were moving as a group until we were hit and were forced apart. Hazel split from Archer to cover Chemo, Neptune, Wizard, and Jayhawk. Archer covered my team. It was a bloody mess. I don't know where those guys fucking came from."

"The intel?"

"I got it sir." Ghost reaches into his vest and hands it over to MacTavish, "Soap, we need Hazel to live."

"Do you mean you?" MacTavish asks quietly so only Ghost can hear.

Ghost glances at MacTavish under his sunglasses, not saying anything. He didn't need to. He hadn't spoken to Hazel that he'd begun to like the younger man, not wanting to scare him off. Hazel had just started to speak about his past to Ghost and Roach, he didn't want to scare him off. He knew what it was like to have a horrible past that still plagued him. Episodes could turn deadly if he wasn't snapped out of it fast enough and he knew it was the same for Hazel. During the week he looked like he was slowly falling apart, dark circles forming under his eyes, not running his best times due to lack of sleep. Ghost had checked on him after Hazel had finally retired after hours of running the track and heard muffled screaming and thrashing about. He knew what it was like waking up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat looking around like he was back in Mexico.

"He's flat lining!" Doc's scream cuts through Ghost's thoughts.

He curses under his breath watching as Doc and the few men around Hazel start fretting even more. A third bag of blood being hung up, Ghost could feel his hands shaking. MacTavish turns and runs to the front to ask Nikolai about getting to base faster.

"I'm going as fast as I can my friend." Nikolai cuts in, "She will only go so fast. I am sorry."

MacTavish comes back to the back with a curse, watching Doc leaning over Hazel pushing down on his chest rhythmically. Archer is standing beside Ghost, visibly shaking as he watches. The others, Jayhawk and Dragon now patched up, all watch Doc and the few other men helping him. Hazel is fading despite all their efforts.

"Damn it!" Doc yells as he slams a fist down hitting Hazel in the middle of his chest. There's a scream of pain and Hazel gurgles up blood, eyes shooting open wide. Momentarily he forgets everything, forcing his body into a sitting position before falling back down. "Give him the shot! Quick!"

The man opposite Doc grabs a large syringe pushing the large needle through Hazel's bared chest. Hazel arches his back, eyes rolling back as his hands grasp at the stretcher.

Archer curses, turning away with a hand over his mouth. Ghost wants to turn away too but he can't make his body move. He doesn't want Hazel to open his eyes and see his back. He wants him to see his face, even if it's hidden behind his mask, and know that he's there with him.

"He's stable for the moment but he's lost so much blood, we've given him half of his normal blood volume. I need to start operating as soon as we get back." Doc sits back taking the momentary break, hands and forearms covered in blood.

Ghost nods his head kneeling next to Hazel's head, "He'll make it. He's seen worse."

"Ghost?" MacTavish pats Ghost's shoulder.

"Yeah Soap?"

"He'll make it."

"Aye, he'll make it." Saying it and hearing MacTavish say it made Ghost believe it. He needed to hang on to that. Slowly he got up and moved to speak with Jayhawk and Dragon to make sure the two were doing well. He felt bad for not asking them sooner, he cared for all of his men and wanted to make sure they knew he had their backs.

o0o

"How is he?"

"Still hasn't woken up."

"How's Archer?"

"He won't talk to me."

"I would think he'd at least talk to you."

"He won't even look at me…" Toad sighs heavily, leaning forward resting his head on his hands. His eyes are closed with a pounding behind his eyelids; he didn't appreciate the bright lights of the mess hall. Across from him Scarecrow is sitting with a tray of food, chewing on a large piece of roast beef. He still has black face paint lines across his face from his mission. He'd been starving and plans to shower after eating as much as he can shove in his face.

"It's been three weeks, it's understandable for him to be upset but he needs to take care of himself." Scarecrow says before stuffing more food in his mouth.

"I know… I thought maybe coming back a week early would cheer him up since he hadn't even called me while I was home. I just didn't know things had gotten this bad. I understood he was upset about the kid getting hurt from what MacTavish said on the phone but still… Seeing it is a lot different than just hearing about it." Toad lowers his hand grabbing his glass of water and takes a sip, "I'm worried about him. I don't know why he's acting like this. He hated the kid when I left."

Scarecrow glances up looking around the hall to see they're the only ones there and taking a deep breath he sits back. It was time to tell Toad.

"It's the opposite. He can't hate the kid." Scarecrow watches Toad look at him with his brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?" He speaks slowly, watching Scarecrow's face trying to read him.

"I mean Archer has a huge one for the kid. I caught them kissing but then Archer wanted to run and Hazel went off on him. Archer was scared to hurt the kid but still ended up doing so."

Toad shakes his head, "Wait, I thought Ghost likes the kid…"

"He does." Scarecrow sits forward and takes a bite of food, his stomach growling at him for more.

"So then, wait, what?" Toad's eyes widen as he watches Scarecrow shrug nonchalantly.

"Yeah, crazy huh?" Scarecrow sits up and wipes the side of his mouth on a napkin, "They both like the kid but are taking this differently. Ghost is throwing himself into missions and training to keep occupied, Archer is locking himself up."

"Wow, does Hazel know Ghost likes him?"

"Nope, doesn't even have a clue."

"Shite, what about Archer?"

"He doesn't know either but Ghost knows Archer likes Hazel." Scarecrow digs into his food again, finishing it off.

"I don't even know what to say… It all makes sense why Archer is acting the way he is… I just thought it was guilt of having a team member get hurt like that, but it's because he likes him too… Shite."

Scarecrow nods, downing his water, "Yeah."

o0o

"Hey Hazel, wanted to see how you're doing." Ozone sits in the chair next to the infirmary bed, looking at Hazel where he's lying still, all kinds of machines hooked up to him. Ozone couldn't name one of them but he knew they were keeping the man alive. "So I wanted to read the playthrough for the game. You wouldn't believe this, well I couldn't but you'd tell me how right you were; the Cornhuskers won. They beat Wisconsin 77-68. Your brother Michael came to visit last week, you remember, and left a playthrough and a video of the game. He knew how excited you were about it."

Ozone sighs, holding the stack of pages in his hand with the playthrough printed out, "He was cold, stoic, harsh, but he was nice to everyone. I meant to come tell you about him being here for a couple days but he was always in here. I didn't have time and then I had a mission. I'm sure Scarecrow is stuffing his face right now. His stomach wouldn't stop growling from how hungry the man was. But I'm sure you had to deal with that many times huh…" Ozone looks away to stare at one of the white walls, "So anyways, Michael didn't talk much. He was dressed in his old 624 uniform, seemed like he thought it was a good idea. I don't think so because I could see the pain in his eyes when he looked down at it. And man, he wasn't afraid to hit someone with his cane if they pissed him off." Ozone chuckles lightly, "Worm was taking a long time in line, didn't help Meat was taking a longer time in front of him, and Michael whacked them both behind their knees. He got his food and left the two idiots lying there on the floor. They didn't dare try and say something to him." Ozone looks up at Hazel's face watching him breathe with a machines help, "He stuck around Ghost, MacTavish, and Roach. Roach is doing better by the way, he hasn't come to visit because he knows he'll just cry. MacTavish comes once a week to ask Doc about any changes. Ghost, I don't know but I suspect he visits you at night when the others are asleep. Probably doesn't want anyone walking in on him talking to you. It's effected everyone that you were friends with, you being here like this. I hope you get better soon…" Ozone sighs heavily before snapping the pages in his hand and for the umpteenth time he reads the playthrough for the Nebraska vs Wisconsin game.

o0o

Ghost walks into the room, lights off because of how late it is save for a lamp in the corner giving off little light. He shuts the door quietly and walks inside to the chair. On the stand beside the bed he sees the game playthrough; Ozone must have come and left it there earlier. He wipes at the sweat from running off his eyebrows before pulling his mask and sunglasses off. He'd been running for an hour straight when he decided to visit Hazel like he had grown accustomed to before falling asleep.

"Archer was at practice today, he was distracted and got his ass handed to him by Royce. I'm not going to lie, it was hilarious but I couldn't find my voice to chuckle much less laugh." Ghost tells him, setting his mask on the edge of the bed, hoping to hear Hazel answer him.

There's a clicking sound of the door and Ghost jumps up about to jump the intruder but sees MacTavish with his hands raised up, "I wanted to check on you."

Ghost grunts, turning and sitting back in the chair, "I'm fine. You should be more worried about Archer."

"Archer has Toad, but now you need someone to talk to." MacTavish pulls up a second chair and crosses his arms over his chest giving Ghost a stern look.

"I'm fine."

"Mate, I know you better than any man on this base. I know that when you say fine you mean you're doing crappy."

"Fuck off Soap."

"Ghost?" MacTavish asks after letting a silence fall over them for several minutes.

Ghost's voice cracks slightly as he talks, "What do you want me to say?"

"Say you're going to not run yourself into the ground and mean it." MacTavish squeezes Ghost's shoulder reassuringly.

Ghost watches the steady rise and fall of Hazel's chest, "I don't know if I can do that."

"You just have to try for now."

Ghost nods his head slowly, patting Hazel's limp hand before walking out of the room and heading to the barracks to shower.

o0o

"Toad?"

There's hurried steps and Toad yanks his bedroom door open to see Archer standing with his head slumped forward. He quickly steps aside and his friend walks in, laying back on Toad's bed, arms raised above his head. His beard has started to grow, hair clinging to his forehead. Toad concludes the man has just come from the showers as he sits down in his desk chair after pulling it close to the bed.

"Toad?"

"Yeah?" Toad watches Archer turn onto his side, eyes red and puffy.

"Is it my fault?" He sounds like he's about to burst into tears again.

"No! Oh no, it's not your fault. You didn't know it was going to happen." Toad gets on his knees and lays a hand on Archer's forehead before pushing his hair back gently, his voice soft, "It's not your fault."

"I'm glad." Archer mumbles before falling asleep.

The next morning Toad is curled up in a ball on the floor, a pillow bunched up under his head and a blanket cocooning him when he wakes up slowly. Archer is lying on his back, fast asleep on the bed and as Toad sits up, back aching, he remembers the other man coming in before falling asleep on his bed.

It's been a long time since Archer had done something like that and with suspicion, Toad gets up and brings his face so close to Archer's their noses almost touch. His stomach hits the floor with the familiar smell of alcohol.

"Damn it…" Toad stands up straight and heads out the room upstairs until he's knocking on someone's door. "Please be in there…"

"Sorry to disappoint but I'm not mate."

Toad turns to see Ghost coming from the stairway, he wasn't there just a moment ago, "Ghost!"

"Aye, what do you want this early in the morning?" Ghost stops and leans against his door frame.

"I wanted to talk to you about Archer. You notice things way before anyone else, just the slightest change." Toad is waving his hands around as he talks before he takes a deep breath and looks at Ghost with a face that showed just how exhausted the man was mentally.

"Archer's been a problem for about two weeks now. I didn't notice at first until we passed in the hallway and I could clearly smell it on his breath." Ghost crosses his arms.

"Have you told MacTavish?" Toad's eyes are wide as he speaks, needing to know just how much he'd need to go for his friend.

Ghost shakes his head, patting Toad on the shoulder, "I haven't told anyone, especially Soap. Archer would be sent home for awhile if I did and that would only make him worse. Now keep in mind though, if Soap asks, I can't lie. He just hasn't asked me about it yet."

Toad nods his head, "Can we skip training this morning? I need to speak with him alone and I don't want anyone hearing us."

Ghost nods, "Go ahead, but Soap is going to ask because he'll know something is up if both of you are missing. Last time that happened you were dragging Archer back from bars."

A small gasp leaves Toad's lips and he looks at Ghost like he'd just been slapped, someone knew.

"Soap and I knew, but we didn't say anything because you had gotten him under control. Soap won't be as lenient this time around."

Toad nods his head vigorously before running across the grounds to the mess hall and then heading back up to his room. To his relief Archer is still lying asleep.

He waits until he's sure everyone has gone down for training when he grabs the large glass of water he'd prepared. Pulling his pillow out of harms way Toad lets the water fall splashing all over Archer's face. The man wakes with a curse, arm swinging out and almost catching Toad in the ribs. He takes a few shaky breaths before looking up to see Toad glaring down at him.

"Fuck…"

"Yeah, fuck! What the hell are you thinking!" Toad screams, "Yeah, I get it, you like the kid but doing this again? What the hell is that going to fix! It didn't fix anything last time and it sure isn't going to now!"

"Toad…" Archer starts to speak but he loses his voice and turns away from his friend with a staggering sadness washing over him.

"Ghost knows." Archer snaps his head around and looks with wide eyes up at Toad until the man continues, "Him and the captain know about your last escapade too… If MacTavish finds out he won't turn his back because we finally got you under control. He'll send you home, and that's the best possible outcome." Toad isn't screaming anymore, his voice softer but his pain showing through. He couldn't stand to see his friend like this. It was typically the other way around, Archer helping him with his calm composure. It's now the second time now that Toad is having to help Archer in return and he knew there was no easy way out of it.

o0o

"Who is in charge?" A man asks as he steps off of a helicopter, blue dress uniform on, medals adorning both sides of his chest.

Another man steps out, a cane firmly in hand, "Captain MacTavish if you aren't talking about Shepherd."

"Shepherd won't show up with me here. He's a fucking cowardly thug." The first man growls out making his way off the helipad to two men standing at attention.

"The one with the mask is the Lieutenant, Ghost. MacTavish is the big burly one." The second man speaks so only the first man can hear him.

"General Mallet, welcome back to 141 base, and you must be Hazel's father, General Mallet. Captain MacTavish, it's an honor to meet you sir." MacTavish saluted the two men, Ghost following suit.

"Screw formalities Captain, just take me to my son."

"Aye sir. Ghost..." MacTavish looks at his lieutenant who nods his head before turning and walking away.

"He's in charge of training?" The older General Mallet asks, following MacTavish as they walk through the base.

"Aye, he has a charm with the men." MacTavish smirks to himself.

"More like their worst nightmare. Back on my force, all the men wore masks so one man wearing a mask with a skull wouldn't have fazed them." General Mallet looks over at the other General, "Michael?"

"I'm fine." The man flinches at the pain shooting up his leg. "It just hurts from all the running around I've been doing the past couple of days."

General Mallet nods his head before following MacTavish into the infirmary and down to a room, "I'll find you when it's time."

MacTavish nods his head, looking over at Hazel for a moment before walking out of the room to give the two men their space.

"He looks peaceful." General Mallet sits in the chair next to Hazel's bed. "He's had a lot of visitors." Noticing the game playthrough he lifts it in his hands seeing all the splotches from dried tears. "He always did have a way with making people like him."

"Not everyone," Michael sits at the foot of the bed beside Hazel's feet, "He always got on Adam's last nerves."

The two men chuckle, "That was true, Adam never knew how to handle the twins. Couldn't tell them apart until they started wearing masks and then he realized Jacob was the troublemaker but James was the mastermind behind all their actions."

A silence engulfs the two men for some time before Michael speaks up, "I can't believe he signed that paper… He survived everything for this to happen…"

General Mallet nods his head hearing his oldest son on the verge of sobbing. Reaching out he pats his son's knee before putting his elbows on the bed and closing his hands together like in prayer. His eyes close and he listens silently to one son breathing through a machine and his other son fighting back his tears. Down the hall MacTavish is talking with Doc about the two men.

"Hazel looks just like his father." MacTavish has his arms crossed over his chest, "To think he had a twin so there were three of them running around on one base. Must have wrecked havoc for the men when they didn't have their masks on."

Doc chuckles lightly, "Yeah…" He went quiet, sobering from the moment, "Are any of the men allowed in when they do it?"

"They didn't say…" MacTavish looked away at one of the walls, eyes searching for something but unknown of what they seeked.

"How is Ghost? He came to me about not being able to sleep again."

MacTavish furrows his brows and nods, "I noticed he hasn't… This is taking a toll on a lot of people. I have about fifteen men not at their peak because of this…"

"Roach came by last night asking about something to help him fall asleep." This surprised MacTavish and when the Doc didn't continue he turned to look the man in the face.

"Seriously?"

Doc nodded slowly, "I was just as shocked as you but the two had been inseparable "

"Yeah…" MacTavish looks up to see the older General Mallet coming towards them.

"My daughter should be arriving soon by truck." MacTavish nods and the two leave the infirmary, "How was my son doing here?"

"He was strong," MacTavish looks at the General out of the corner of his eye, "Not everyone accepted him at first. We have an odd number of snipers so the dynamic of our existing team was changed. Toad didn't mind it, he found your son fun because of his bouncing personality."

The General lets a smile lift the corners of his lips, "He wasn't always like that but when he was, he was even a handful for myself and I raised the man."

MacTavish can't help but chuckle, "Aye, he was a handful but he fell right into place with many of the men. Made it to where it was like he was always there."

"Did he ever talk about the old force?" The General stops walking and looks MacTavish in the face when he too stops and turns to look back at him.

"He did, but never talked about what they actually did or who you were after. Said it was beyond classified."

"What about his brothers?" The General started walking again and MacTavish gets in step beside him.

"He talked to Roach and Ghost about them but didn't really speak about them to others. Surface information but I think he dived deeper with the aforementioned men. They were closest to him."

"A father always worries about his sons, but I worry most about James. Too many bad things have happened to him at such a young age, he needs friends he can speak with about his brothers." The General sighs heavily as they come to a stop to wait for his daughter.

"He never spoke of a sister." MacTavish comments after standing there in silence that had started to gnaw on him.

"No, he never did but if you saw the two together, it was the cutest thing. When they were small..." The General laughs as a memory comes to mind, "She's a couple of years older than James and she convinced James and Jacob that they were princesses and she the prince. They went all out, I mean the boys were dressed in pink dresses, bows in their short hair, Liliana's old shoes on. They were heels, so you could hear the boys as they ran around the house, fairy wands in hand, trying to outrun Gabe and Adam. They'd snuck into their brothers' rooms and taken I don't even remember what. But seeing two boys running in heels, pink fluffy dresses that were too long so they're holding the bottoms up, wand in between their teeth. I choked on the water I had been drinking when they rushed into my office and hid under my desk. The older two came crashing in moments later, gasping for breath demanding to know where the twins had gone. I forced as straight a face as I could muster and told them they hadn't come in there and the two dashed back out into the hallway. Moments later I was holding my side almost crying from how much I was laughing and that was a normal day for the boys."

MacTavish can't help but start laughing with the General as he tells the story, picturing a small James running around in a pink dress, "That I wouldn't want getting around. Never live that one down with the boys."

"Oh they didn't." The General shakes his head with a sad smile on his lips, "During a card game Jacob lost to Adam, he demanding his brother do as he say. Jacob was forced to wear a pink fluffy dress all day while on base when majority of the team was there. James not wanting his brother to be alone dressed up with him and I could see the two running around base chasing Adam and Gabe. They had wands too, granted they were paintball guns this time and not a stick with a star and streamer at the ends. They weren't ashamed either." The General takes a deep breath before continuing, "They would pose for pictures when the men asked and acted feminine while in the dresses. That was the most relaxed I'd seen any of the men in a long time. I didn't want to spoil their moods so I gave them the next two days off. Ride out the relaxation as long as they could before sending them off on missions again."

MacTavish nods, the grim truth coming out in the General's last words. He could feel the sadness but also the darkness hidden under those words. Something happened not long after that, but the General wasn't about to tell him. MacTavish could only guess it must have something to do with Adam's death.

"She's a Lieutenant, in the Air Force." MacTavish looks over at the General as he starts to talk again, "The odd one out of the men. All being members of the Marines, she wanted to try something else out where she wouldn't be compared to her brothers." He glanced over at MacTavish before continuing, "It still happened but her brother's weren't pilots or engineers. She is. She showed everyone who doubted her and said she couldn't do more than her brothers that they were wrong. Graduated college with a 4.0 GPA as an Aeronautical Engineer. Was working at NASA for awhile before joining the AF and became one of their best pilots."

MacTavish didn't know what to say and they fell into silence again but not for long. They could see a convoy approaching and the General became restless, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. When a tall woman stepped out the two instantly hugged. When she stepped back before kissing her father on the cheek. She looks past her father and MacTavish noticing a group of men.

"I got quite the welcome." MacTavish turns to see several of the men standing at attention. "I'm happy James was well loved here."

"Michael is with him now."

She nods her head, taking her fathers' hand in hers, "I would like to go see them."

MacTavish nods his head, introducing himself before escorting the two to the infirmary.

"My brother had friends here?" Liliana asks as her father walks into the room leaving MacTavish alone with her in the hallway.

"Aye, he had two close friends."

"Bring them, I would like to speak with them." She gave MacTavish a smile before leaving him alone.

When he got to the main office he sees Ghost and Roach sitting at Doc's desk while the man himself sat behind it, staring at his computer screen like it was foreign.

"What was that about outside?" MacTavish stops to stand beside the desk watching Ghost and Roach.

"I thought it would be nice." Roach whispers, his eyes red. Beside him Ghost nods his head, his hand clutching something inside his pants pocket. He didn't speak up but just kept staring forward, his sunglasses hiding what MacTavish suspected were red eyes of his own. The man could only hold things in for so long before they forced their way out.

MacTavish nods his head at the two, "His sister, Liliana would like to speak with the pair of you."

Roach looks up at him, his puppy eyes watering with fresh tears while Ghost sighs leaning back in his chair.

"Don't rush, you'll hurt yourselves." Everyone turns to see Liliana standing in the doorway to the office giving them a small smile, "They needed some time alone."

MacTavish nods his head, "I"ll leave you with these two. Doc why don't we go get some lunch."

"It's not even close to lunch time yet, I just had breakfast." Doc complains but when he sees the look MacTavish is giving him he bolts up out of his chair, "Right! Lunch, I'm so starving I didn't even realize it!"

Liliana chuckles as the three are left alone, the office door shutting behind MacTavish.

Ghost is the first to speak, standing up and offering her his hand, "Lieutenant Simon Riley."

"Sergeant Gary Sanderson." Roach stands up and shakes her hand after Ghost.

"Lieutenant Liliana Mallet, a pleasure to meet my brother's friends." She waves at the chairs and the two men sit back down while she pulls up a third chair and sits so they're all facing each other. "Tell me about the mission you were on."

_Hazel's Journal _

_Archer's Entry_

_I couldn't help myself as they took you to surgery but rush upstairs to your room and grab your journal. The previous page has your tears and now this one is smeared with you blood._

_I'm scared you're going to die... I don't want you to die. Please don't die on me, I haven't told you just how much I care about you._

_Seeing you with blood pouring out of your mouth, shrapnel sticking out of your stomach, I thought you were gone for sure. Please come back. I wasn't ready to open up to you but before I realized it, I was already yours. It scares the fuck out of me mate. I'm going to go shower and wait in the infirmary until Doc finishes._

_\- Archer_

_Day 7_

_I can't stop crying myself to sleep. It doesn't matter what I do. I just want to drink until I can't remember a fucking thing. Why won't you wake up? _

_Your brother is coming in a couple of days. _

_He called ahead to speak with MacTavish who wasn't sure he could. Your brother said Shepherd couldn't do shit even if he wanted to. I guess your brother and father are both higher ranked generals than Shepherd. He had the general foaming by the mouth pissed the fuck off. I have to admire your brother for doing that. I miss you mate. I can't remember what your lips tasted like and it makes me miss it that much more. I can't sleep, I think I'll go drink that bottle of whiskey I got stashed._

_\- Archer_

_Ghost's Entry_

_Hey kid, its been two weeks since we got back. Your brother just left. He was reluctant to leave your side. I visit you at night and I walked in on him crying begging you to wake up. He said he'd do anything for you to come back. He meant it too. Come back to us James. We need you... I need you. I can't stop these fucking tears, god look what's become of me... I'm writing in a journal that belongs to a man they say won't wake._

_Prove them wrong! _

_\- Simon Riley_

_Roach's Entry_

_I visited you last night, after Ghost did. I caught a glimpse of him before he left, his sunglasses off, and he looked like he'd been crying._

_I can't blame him with how much I've been crying lately. I miss you, we all do. Ozone visits you and reads the Nebraska vs Wisconsin game. God I'm crying again._

_I'm sorry for crying in your journal. I just wanted to write something so you can read it later but I don't know if you ever will._

_Archer is doing awful, he doesn't talk to anyone. Not even when MacTavish yelled at him to get his shite together._

_I heard MacTavish call Toad and ask him about coming back early. I hope he does for Archer's sake._

_I think I'm going to go visit you mate, maybe I'll write in here again. Probably won't. It took about thirty minutes to calm down enough to write but as you can tell from my shaking hand writing it wasn't long enough._

_\- Gary Sanderson_

_Ghost's Entry 2_

_Day 20_

_Toad is back trying to help Archer, its not working needless to say. He's drinking again. I can smell it on his breath. I don't think Toad has noticed yet. I don't blame him, Archer; I could use a drink but Soap is watching me like a hawk. No drinking for me only my nightmares to keep me company._

_I still remember Mexico like it was yesterday and I can't help but think you're reliving your own personal Mexico while you sleep._

_I hope not._

_\- Simon Riley_

_Day 30_

_Your dad is arriving later today with your brother Michael and your sister Liliana. Your will requested all life support end after thirty days. I guess that means this is it... I can't believe that this is happening. I can't stop crying._

_I can't fucking stop! _

_Damn you! You can't die! Not yet!_

_I haven't told you how I feel... _

_I guess this is the last entry in here. I'll get it to your father. I hope he doesn't mind the extra entries._

_\- Simon Riley_

_P.S. I'll see you on the other side._

**A/N: Oh snap! Huge cliffhanger! Did I warn you about that? No? Hehehe well now you know, Hazel's dad, his only living brother, and his sister have shown up because it's time to pull the plug.**

**Archer is in shambles, Ghost is barely keeping it together, and Roach doesn't know what to do with himself.**

**Side note: On Ghost's last entry there are splotches from his tears.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: It gets violent, ish, and talks of self harm; not a lot but beware if that might upset you. Also italics is Hazel's journal, like usual, just in the body of the chapter and not just at the end. Also long A/N at the end. Enjoy!**

Ghost stands up, body tired from sitting down for so long explaining the mission and then being asked hundreds of questions by Liliana. Roach got the same treatment with her asking about every mission her little brother had been on. She even had Chemo, Ozone, Archer, and other 141 members come in and speak with her. Archer was a mess, his face was red, eyes bloodshot when he dragged himself to Doc's office. Toad wanted to sit with Archer when he spoke with her but she wouldn't let him. She said it was because she wanted to hear what people had to say without the influence of others. Reluctant, Toad left Archer alone with her and several hours later they come out of the office, Archer standing taller trying to keep his head up high but he still looking worn out and tired.

He nodded to Toad and the two men went and joined the others at the mess hall to grab something to eat; or tea in Ghost's case. Archer hadn't had much to eat lately and he was starving.

"Ghost, Roach, Ozone, Archer?"

The four men stand at attention as their names are called from where they're sitting respectfully in the mess hall, "Yes, sir."

Michael shakes his head, "No formalities." He comes up to the four men, looking them over, "We're going to do it soon. If you four want to come in with us my father will allow it."

Roach nods his head immediately, Ghost and Ozone say 'aye,' but Archer doesn't speak, he just starts walking out of the mess hall with Toad trailing after him.

"He'll come, he just needs a few minutes to compose himself." Ghost sighs, shaking his head slowly.

"I understand. I spoke with Liliana about her talks with you lot." Michael turns around and starts back to the infirmary with the three men following him.

Nothing else is spoken even when they enter the room, waiting a minute until Archer comes in and stands beside the door. Liliana moves to stand beside him, holding his hand in hers. Doc is beside Hazel's bed, facing towards the door, General Mallet has his back to the door, and Michael is sitting at the foot of the bed. Outside the door MacTavish is standing with Chemo, making sure they get their privacy and to be close for support. Down the hall in Doc's office, Toad is sitting, face in his hands, knee bouncing as he worries for Archer. Back in the room Doc is saying a few words to General Mallet, explaining what he's going to do before he starts unplugging the machines. Everyone holds their breaths as they hear Hazel's weak breathing, the only noise in the room.

Archer starts to cry silently, Ghost is fighting back his own tears, and Roach starts to sob as quietly as he can. Michael is clenching the blanket in fists, face turned in to his chest to hide his silent tears. Next to Archer, Liliana is keeping her head up while her tears fall down. General Mallet kneels next to the bed taking Hazel's hand in his large hands while Doc moves out of the way stepping out of the room.

"I need to step out." Michael speaks up after two hours of sitting in silence. It was eating away at him, he didn't know if he could hold back any longer.

"Liliana, go with your brother." General Mallet is now sitting in a chair but he's still holding Hazel's hand.

"Yes sir."

Michael stands up, leaning heavily on his cane. Liliana comes up to his side letting him put an arm around her shoulders. They're almost to the door when Roach gasps out loudly. He looks around apologetically before staring down at the ground. Ghost nudges him gently with his elbow.

"What?"

"I thought I saw his hand twitch, I'm sorry." Roach looks up apologetically again.

There's a heavy sigh and everyone looks around for the source. When everyone shakes their head they all look down at Hazel.

"You guys heard that right?" Michael is looking around at the others before staring down at his brother.

Ghost nods his head, "Yeah."

"James?" General Mallet leans forward, squeezing his son's hand.

"Shhh…" Hazel's mouth moves a little bit as the sound comes out.

Michael drops his cane as he rushes to Hazel's side, his eyes wide, "Little brother?" He can't help the sob that shakes through his body and he falls to his knees.

From where he was standing Archer couldn't see Hazel's face when Michael rushed to him but with Michael now on the ground he saw hazel eyes blinking open. He felt his own sob shake through him falling down to the floor. General Mallet curses loudly, standing over his son asking him if he's okay. Liliana is smiling, reaching a hand out to squeeze Roach's arm.

Roach looks up from the floor, confused, until he sees a small smile form on Hazel's lips, "Hey dad…"

"Hey son, you had us worried." General Mallet wipes at the tears spilling down his face.

"I say you did it on purpose… Always have to be at the center of attention." Michael gasps out trying to catch his breath.

"M-Michael?" Hazel's voice is hoarse as he speaks.

"Hey little brother." Michael starts to pull himself up, his face frowning in pain. Ghost rushes to his side to help him stand, handing him his fallen cane.

Hazel smiles up at his brother, "Hey Michael, what's with the sad face?"

"You almost died on us mate." Archer has moved to stand at the foot of the bed, wiping at his face with the back of his hands.

"Did I?" Hazel tries to take a deep breath but he stops, pain shooting through him, "I guess so… Water?"

General Mallet is already holding a cup under his lips, helping Hazel hold his head up. He sips it slowly, eyes closed enjoying it. Liliana opens the door to the hallway, whispering to MacTavish to get the doctor before shutting it again. MacTavish rushes down the hall, bursting into Doc's office scaring him and Toad, a huge grin plastered on his face.

"He's alive."

Both men look at MacTavish like he had two heads, "What!"

Doc runs down to Hazel's room, trying to compose himself before stepping inside. Sure enough he sees Hazel smiling, eyes open. Doc makes his way to Hazel's side and starts checking him over before deciding he doesn't need to turn the machines back on but he does put the IV back into his arm. Hazel has his head turned away while Doc does this, flinching before turning to look down at the IV sticking out of his arm.

"I got something that's yours." Ghost steps up to the side of the bed and sets Hazel's journal under his left hand, "I hope you don't mind the extra entries."

Hazel smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes; he looks confused.

Ghost notices, a pain in his chest growing with uncertainty before stepping away from the bed back to the wall. Roach is still there, his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. Liliana nudges him forward and after the first step he runs to Hazel's side, grabbing his hand in his.

Hazel smiles up at him, "Hey..."

"Hey." Roach chokes out a smile, "Had me worried you shite face."

Hazel rolls his eyes, "Sure that's not you?"

"Considering what you look like right now, I do believe Roach has you beat." Ghost chuckles.

Hazel puts on a grin, "So why are you here, dad, Michael, Liliana? What's going on?" Hazel looks between the three, a frown on his face, pulling his hand from Roach's.

General Mallet, Michael, and Liliana look among themselves, not sure how to start.

"A lot…" Archer speaks up, looking around the room and when everyone nods he continues, "Do you remember the mission we were on?"

Hazel squints his eyes, thinking hard before he flinches, "I… My head is throbbing…"

"Take it easy." General Mallet refills Hazel's water and puts it to his lips.

Hazel drinks it slowly before shaking his head pushing his dad's hand away, "I'm okay… I was running… Screaming ambush… Jacob dashed out of my sight… There was smoke everywhere…" Hazel pauses before he starts hyperventilating, a hand grabbing the front of the hospital gown. "Jacob protected me from a mortar round…" He looks to Michael, tears falling down his face while his brother is trying to fight back his own emotions, "Where's Jacob?" When no one answers his voice gets louder, panicking, "Where's Jacob!"

Doc comes to Hazel's side, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Hazel, I need you to calm down. It's okay."

Hazel shakes his head quickly, "No it's not! Where's my brother! Michael why are you crying?" His voice breaks into a sob, putting his hands over his face whispering 'no' over and over. "What's happening? Where am I?"

Liliana comes to Hazel's side, pulling the blanket up enough to slip in beside him to wrap her arms around him. She starts whispering to him, a hand stroking his head until he's gone silent, clinging onto her. Behind her Michael is motioning for the 141 members to follow him out into the hallway. They're all shell shocked. Ghost is shaking his head back and forth and Archer is visibly shaking.

"Ghost, you okay mate?" MacTavish puts a hand on his friends' shoulder.

Ghost shakes his head, "I don't even know what to think right now…"

"He doesn't remember any of us…" Roach whispers making Chemo stare at them, confused until he gasps quietly.

"He thinks he just had the mission before he lost our brothers Jacob and Joseph…" Michael sighs heavily, "I can't take this… I need a drink…"

"I'll come with you." Ghost speaks up, "I got some pretty damn good stuff in my office."

Michael nods his head, "I'll be the judge of that… Let's go…"

The two start down the hallway and MacTavish is frowning deeply, unsure of what to do. He opens his mouth but stops when the door opens and General Mallet walks out, a deep frown on his face.

"How is he?" Chemo instantly asks, worried for the man even if he has forgotten him.

"Liliana is about to start explaining everything… I can't… I need to call his mother, tell her that he's okay but lost part of his memory… Do you have a computer I could use? I want to speak with her through video."

MacTavish nods his head, "In the briefing room, you'll get the most privacy in there."

"I'll inform the others." Everyone looks at Roach, tears falling heavily down his face, "I can't do anything for him but I can at least let the others know…"

"Right, Ozone and Chemo, go with him." McTavish nods his head at the two men respectfully.

"Archer?" Toad hesitantly approaches the man.

"Leave me alone…" Archer pushes past Toad and heads off to be alone.

o0o

Ghost lifts the glass to his lips, his mask rolled up to sit on his nose. Across from him Michael is nursing his own glass, cheeks red from the bottle they'd already drank. As soon as they'd gotten to Ghost's office they'd laid right into it, drowning themselves, each trying to run from their pains. They didn't talk about it, the only words spoken were about the alcohol.

Both men look up when the door opens abruptly and MacTavish walks in, anger flashing across his face, "Simon!"

Ghost looks at him, unfazed by the furious Scot who is coming around the desk, "Soap."

"Give me that glass." MacTavish growls out.

"I'm plenty gone already, why not." Ghost hands the glass over, "You're more than welcome to join us."

"How about you go run twenty laps around the compound or until you're fucking sober!" MacTavish pulls Ghost up and before he can fight back he's shoved out of the office.

Michael is still sitting in his chair, glass to his lips, "Try that with me Scot, and I'll have your ass hanging by your toes from a tree."

MacTavish doesn't answer as he storms to his desk, flipping through documents looking for something specific.

"My dad still in the briefing room?"

MacTavish grunts in response when he finds what he's looking for and leaves Michael alone.

"And I thought you were friendly." Michael grumbles under his breath before refilling his glass, kicking his feet up and resting them on the wooden desk.

Across the base Liliana is sitting beside Hazel, he's wiping angrily at his face.

"James?"

Hazel looks up at his sister, eyes red and puffy, "I need some time alone… Read what I've put in the journal…"

Liliana nods her head, "There's a button here," she points to a button beside the bed, "it's connected to the doctor's office, Doc. I'll be in there if you need me."

Hazel snorts, "The doctor's name is Doc."

Liliana smiles at her brother, kissing his forehead before leaving him alone.

Hazel watches her until the door closes then turns to his journal. Opening it he notices blood at the bottom of the page and starts to read.

_I've finally been discharged from the hospital. Three weeks of them fretting and running about like idiots was pretty fucking annoying. I wanted to rip their heads off, bathe in their blood maybe. It was useless and a waste of my time to be here. Everything is already healed. It's not like them trying to help is going to fix anything. To get rid of the scars. The damage has been done. Six months of torture, watching Jacob and then Joseph die, I don't think James is here anymore… Just a shell of a man… Who am I? What am I even doing? _

_They finally told me where Gabe is, he killed himself after they found Jacob's body. Guess he couldn't take it after having to have had to watch Adam die. He never was the same after that but this pushed him over the edge._

_Lucky bastard, they're watching me like a hawk now._

_Guess trying to kill myself in the shower was too obvious…_

_Bastards…_

_You won't know when I do it next time… I'll win..._

Hazel looks down at his body, pulling the gown off to see the scars all over his chest. Precise cuts along the inside of his thighs. A small gasp leaves his mouth when he notices the deep scar on his left arm that he traces up to his face where there are now three distinct scars.

"What the fuck is going on? This can't be serious…" He looks back down at the journal to keep reading.

_I didn't win. My counselor is keeping track of what I write in this damn thing… Ever heard of giving a man some fucking privacy? All my brothers are dead, save Michael, you force me to start writing in this god forsaken thing, and now you're going to read it? It's like you're putting a bullet in my head for me! Fuck this stupid piece of shit crap!_

Hazel flips the page to the next noticing it's dated several weeks later.

_I can't sleep, maybe writing in this stupid thing will help… Counselor said it will but I don't trust him but I haven't slept in days. Passing out from exhaustion isn't helping me get back in shape. I'm going to be better, stronger, faster than before._

_I guess this is it…_

_I keep dreaming about this one session, tied up to a chair with ropes biting into my wrists as they're held behind me. I'm naked save a pair of pants. They'd taken my shirt and socks off, my boots were gone when I'd woken up there. One of the guys who watched me being questioned came in with three others behind him. I tensed up ready to be beaten or shocked but instead I didn't see the man in the suit as they shut the door._

_They took me from the chair, forcing me forward on the empty table. It typically held the tools they used but they always took the tools when they left leaving it empty. I remember my voice hoarse and foreign to my own ears as I cursed and growled at them. I didn't know what they were going to do but I wasn't going to let them do what they wanted without a fight._

_I wasn't going to let them break me. What I didn't expect is what they did to me…_

_They violated me, used me, did things to me that I…_

_The worst part, I liked it… _

_Made me think about that time in training. The blonde with the blue eyes, tall and masculine. It was the best few weeks in a long time. God, the way Jacob reacted when he found out about me being bisexual. He wouldn't stop pointing out guys similar to the blonde, it was so embarrassing!_

_Took weeks for him to finally calm down and stop trying to set me up with guys. I'm pretty damn good on my own._

"I still remember lying on my back with the guy sucking on me." Hazel puts a hand over his face, feeling the embarrassment from then. A small chuckle leaves his lips before he looks back down at the journal to continue reading.

_It's been a couple months writing in this thing and it's helped me after all._

_Still hate my counselor…. He used my fears against me and tried to take advantage of me... _

_I broke his face. Broken nose, jaw, tore both shoulders out of place, bruised and broken ribs, broke his leg in several places… It was like I was someone else… I enjoyed it… God… I __**loved**_ _it! I didn't just like and enjoy it; I didn't want to stop. I wanted to keep breaking him but Michael had come with me and was in the waiting area. He heard the counselor screaming and was able to get me off. It wasn't like it was easy for him though, I broke his nose and made a cut across his cheek. That was three weeks ago._

_I still haven't apologized to Michael about it._

_Then again I've been locked up since then so it's not like I could speak with him._

_Dad is coming to pick me up later on today._

_Court is releasing me into his custody._

_624 is down to less than twenty men so they're slowly getting moved to different places._

_What about me?_

_Maybe I'll crawl into a hole somewhere and die; a man can only hope._

_I'm nothing like the person I was before. I thought I was a killer but I was just a naive kid. You're a killer when you take joy in what you've done. Embrace it as a part of you. Thrive on being covered in their blood… That's how I feel now…_

Hazel sets the journal down, he didn't know what to think about what was written down. He knew it was him, it was clearly his handwriting, but what was written down, it scared him. The violence and urge to tear things apart, it scared him. He wasn't sure how to react. He didn't know if he could keep reading.

Thankfully he didn't have to choose immediately as there was a light knock on the door.

"Come in…"

Ghost walks in slowly, shutting the door behind him before pulling off his sunglasses and mask, "Hey mate."

"Um, hi…" Hazel closes the journal before putting it to the side.

"I'm Simon Riley, I go by Ghost and I'm the Lieutenant here at the 141." Ghost sits down in the chair, Hazel watching his every move.

"That's what I did…" Hazel looks down at his lap, brows furrowed.

"I'm sorry?" Ghost looks at him with confusion.

Hazel chuckles lightly, shaking his head, "In the journal, I wrote about the other 624 members leaving to go else where. I didn't know where I would go…" He runs his hands over his face, breathing out before looking Ghost in the face, "Were we friends?"

Ghost nods, "Yeah. We would run the track and pt course at night. You were diligent about your training. Talked about how you'd missed a jump and almost tore your knee. You didn't want it to happen again so you trained at night." Ghost rubs a hand over the back of his neck, "I trained with you."

Hazel nods, "I remember that. Gabe wouldn't stop making fun of me because of it." A small smile lifts the corner of his lips.

"So I wanted to see how you were… I know you don't remember who I am but I just still wanted to come ask." Ghost pushes himself up, pulling his mask back on.

"Wait…" Ghost turns around to see Hazel looking up at him.

For just a moment he thought it was the Hazel he knew looking over his face to try and read him, "Yeah?"

"Why are you drunk?"

Ghost feels his cheeks brighten with a blush and chuckles nervously, "You noticed, huh? Um… You'll understand I guess when you read the three entries I put in the journal…" He's rubbing the back of his neck again nervously.

"If we were friends why can't you just tell me?" Hazel's face is serious as he watches Ghost shift nervously. "What?" He was getting frustrated with the man. He found out his memory was gone and now he's dealing with some guy squirming like a girl. He was far from happy. It didn't help finding out he'd lost his brothers, again, and reading the journal. He had so many emotions going through him he wasn't sure what to think but demand for answers. He wasn't going to play beat around the bush. "Why are you drunk?" He asks again, his irritation showing through.

Ghost shoots him a glare before looking away quickly, "You don't remember me, or Roach, or anyone here! It fucking sucks mate! You and Roach were inseparable, always pulling pranks together or hanging out. You would give Ozone and Chemo hell, talk bullshit with the other American members about football. You'd give Toad a hard time but you devoted yourself to listening to everything him and Archer said being the existing sniper team. You were quiet and kept to yourself at first, not wanting to break up their dynamic." Ghost sighs heavily, "Awhile back Archer, he… He was a complete and total asshole to you. A fucking jerk and it made me want to break his face but I couldn't favor one soldier over the other." Ghost pulls his mask back off and looks Hazel in the eyes, "I don't know what exactly happened but he did something, and you started ignoring him then you were talking again… That's when we went on the mission that got you laid up in this place."

Hazel nods slowly, "I probably have something about it written in here." Hazel picks up the journal, letting the pages flip through his fingers until he gets towards the end and finds a page covered in blood.

"I'll let you be." Ghost pulls his mask back on and walks out before Hazel can say anything to him about his answer, leaving Hazel with more questions.

He sighs heavily and starts reading again, going back to where he'd left off.

_I just got my orders. I've been waiting for what feels like forever! I've been itching to get back in the field, get behind my rifle and pull that trigger. I'm going insane sitting here at base. It's in fucking shambles, most of the buildings flattened by 'them'. I'm tired of walking around seeing the walls still standing peppered with bullets. It puts me on edge. Makes me want to go on a killing spree._

_Task Force 141_

_I'm excited to go but maybe I should keep my suicidal tendencies and growing need to kill to myself. I don't think they'll appreciate it._

_Roach, Gary Sanderson, man is funny and a fucking goof ball… Reminds me of Jacob… I miss Jacob… Maybe Roach can fill this hole in my chest that won't go away… He's just an older version of Jacob despite the fact he's a Brit. Can't get over his accent, it throws me off when he acts like Jacob. He always makes me smile though._

_Archer, the fucking douche bag of all douche bags! Him and Toad are the snipers of the 141 and I knew snipers can get cocky but this bastard? Oh no, cocky doesn't even begin! Worst part is, I wish I was as good as him and Toad are… Their dynamic makes me think of me and Jacob, how only a look or small barely noticeable nod sent the other in action understanding what they meant._

_MacTavish, he's like Michael, but Scottish. I admire the man. He's hilarious to watch when he gets pissed off and starts yelling at the guys. I thought listening to a Brit speak was nerve wrecking, listen to a Scot and you're rolling around the floor gasping for breath. In a good way granted._

_Ghost, yeah that guy, I don't know what it is about him… I thought I was mysterious and closed up about any and everything about the 624. This guy is on a different level. I let curiosity get the better of me and I looked up his past; perks of being a Mallet and having access to things I probably, most definitely, shouldn't. I thought I had things bad, so does he and man… Buried alive? I don't know if I could take that and be sane enough to be the XO of a task force like this one…_

_Chemo: Man is funny; I'd follow him into a fight even if it meant my life._

_Ozone? Man, let's not even talk about how much of a boner he has for Wisconsin. Wisconsin! Jesus…_

There's another knock on the door and Hazel looks up to see a man walk in, the same man that had grabbed his hand earlier. His name is Roach; one of the men in the room had called him that. Roach moves to stand at the foot of the bed. Hazel could tell he was nervous as all hell.

"You're Roach, right? One of the men from earlier called you that, his name was Ghost. He came in here about an hour or so ago." Hazel sets the journal in his lap.

Roach nods his head quickly, giving Hazel a smile before speaking, "Yeah, I ran into Ghost on the way here, he was going out for a run. Tried skipping running around the base after getting in trouble with Captain MacTavish. Has to run fifty laps around the base now. Never seen Ghost look that scared in my life after MacTavish was done with him."

Hazel can't help but laugh thinking about the man with the mask, looking so confident and intimidating, when underneath he was just another man.

"Mexico…" Hazel whispers it, his eyes widening for a moment, struggling to figure out why he thought Mexico.

"Mexico?" Roach is watching Hazel, cautious as he approaches his friend. "Why'd you say Mexico?"

Hazel shakes his head, putting a hand to his temple, "I don't know… I was thinking about Ghost and how intimidating he can look with his mask on and I thought Mexico must not have anything on MacTavish."

Roach furrows his brows, unsure of what he means. The two are quiet for a few minutes, both trying to think of what Mexico meant. Eventually Hazel shakes his head again, a small groan leaving his lips. His head was starting to throb, lights flashing behind his closed eyelids. Roach hears the groan and immediately refills the empty cup of water and offers it to Hazel.

"Thank you." Hazel takes it, looking up and giving Roach a small smile.

"Anytime mate, you need anything just say it and it's done." Roach grins from ear to ear and plops down in the chair, "Though if you ask me to get you food, I can't guarantee it'll be good. Doc has strict orders to keep you on something light while your body finishes healing itself."

Hazel snorts, rolling his eyes, "I'm a Mallet, I'll do what I want."

Roach laughs, shaking his head, "Well Hazel, you've tried it before with Doc and it didn't work so well."

"Oh?" Hazel sets the water down and looks at Roach, waiting for him to elaborate.

Roach hums happily, clasping his hands together, "Yeah! You had gone on a four man team, you were doing a quick in and out job. Everything went great but a few days later you were having some serious stomach issues. Lasted for about five days and the Doc wouldn't let you eat certain things. Caught some bug while on the mission. Ghost didn't give you any slack either, had you out running during training on the verge of collapsing. You still did it though, granted you would hurl a couple times during it."

"Oh shit…" Hazel smiles, chuckling, "That sounds awful… I'm glad I don't remember that at least."

"Yeah you were miserable!" Roach laughs.

Hazel continues to smile, finishing the rest of his water and starts to understand what he had written in the journal. It was like he was with Jacob. Even if the guy was a Brit it was like his other half was here though instead of having to go through so long without him. The pain of hearing about his brother's death was only a few hours ago, though it had happened so long ago, but now here this man was; already filling the hole Jacob left. Hazel wasn't sure if he'd told the man before, but by what was written in the journal so far, he deserved to know.

He clears his throat making Roach go silent, watching his face, "I um, wanted to tell you something."

"Yeah?" Roach leans forward in his chair and Hazel noticed the man had been crying a lot lately.

"You're like Jacob." Roach doesn't say anything, just sits back taking a deep breath. Hazel doesn't know if that's good or not, "You remind me of him, make me feel at ease. Even though I've forgotten you; being around you I feel comfortable…"

"Even if you forget, your body remembers what it was like years later." Roach can't help but let the tears fall down his face, looking up at Hazel.

"I still flinch when a baseball is thrown to me. I got hit in the face so many times as a kid trying to learn to catch…" Hazel gives a small smile before turning his head to the side.

"Did you ever catch it?"

Hazel laughs, hearing the tone of Roach's voice change to mischievous, "Yes!" He turns to look at Roach squinting his eyes, "I fucking caught the stupid son of a bitch and threw it right back hitting my coach in the balls!"

Now it's Roach's turn to laugh, throwing his head back with a huge grin plastered across his face, "Mate, remind me to never play baseball with you!"

Hazel can't help the mischievous grin that shows on his face, "Oh I won't. I'll make sure I get you good."

Roach laughs even harder, shaking his head back and forth quickly. His arms are wrapping around his stomach, legs bending up so he's almost curled up in the chair. By the time they both stop laughing their faces are red, gasping for breath. Hazel is having a harder time, his body deciding to pick then to start hurting like hell.

When he speaks his voice is shaky and full of pain, "Roach I think that's enough for tonight. Make me laugh anymore and I'll cry. Most likely, literally."

Roach sobers up from their outburst and nods his head, "Should I get Doc? You sound like you're in a lot of pain…"

Hazel shakes his head, "There's nothing he can do… Not after everything that I've been told today and what I've read in my journal…"

Roach nods his head slowly, "Would you like me to go so you can rest?"

Hazel takes in a breath before shaking his head, "Can you stay until I fall asleep?"

"Of course mate." Roach gives Hazel a smile before turning on the small lamp and turning the overhead lights off.

Hazel shifts his body in the bed into a more comfortable position before turning his head to look at Roach. He's back in the chair, legs stretched out with his arms crossed lazily over his chest.

"Can I ask another favor?" Hazel is hesitant as he speaks and even more so when Roach nods his head with a smile on his lips.

"Of course."

"Jacob would hold my hand when we went to sleep if I was upset… vice versa…"

Roach scoots the chair closer to the bed and takes Hazel's hand in his. A small smile plays on Hazel's face as he closes his eyes and not long after falls asleep.

o0o

Hazel opens his eyes slowly to see a black balaclava with a skull and a pair of sunglasses looking back at him. The way the man's chest is rising and falling he's asleep. Slowly he starts to move to sit up but when something tugs at his hand he looks down to see Ghost is holding onto it. He smiles, humming quietly before pulling his hand away; careful to not wake Ghost.

He grabs the refilled cup of water and in the dim lamp lighting he starts to read his journal again.

_Archer dislocated my shoulder at practice today. I had to fight to keep myself from going berserk… I hadn't realized I'd gone for my knife when I felt the cool steel against my fingers. I barely kept the action hidden from the others. They were too distracted by my sudden scream and Archer cursing loudly. I want to carve his face off with a butter knife… I guess I'm stuck with Roach fretting over me. It's hilarious and it makes me smile. I mean a real smile, genuinely happy smile. Only him and Ghost can make me smile like that here. Not even MacTavish. I get why he's the captain, he can be fucking scary. When I say scary he has Ghost wanting to run for the hills when he sets his anger on the man._

_I'm starting to think I could make this my new home… It's been my new home but I wasn't relaxed all the way but now, now I'm sure. I want to stay here. This is my family now… Ghost, Roach, MacTavish, Chemo, Ozone (stupid assface), Scarecrow (yeah that old man is here), Zach, Robot, Peasant, Rook, Royce, Rook, Toad, and everyone else. Even Meat, Worm, and Jester who like to be dick heads. I don't know about Archer though, guy just rubs me the wrong way. I don't know what I fucking did to him._

Hazel gets to his last entry and with a shaky breath reads the last few entries by Archer, Ghost and Roach. He's not sure how to react to Archer's entries. They confuse the hell out of him but then Hazel had written about his lips; just what was Archer doing with his hand. He groans aloud as his head starts to throb, sitting back on his bed with the journal lying on his chest.

"What the fuck…" He puts a hand over his eyes, tears threatening to form as he realizes where Mexico came from, "I don't understand…"

"I can help." Hazel almost jumps out of bed to see Ghost is awake, looking at him, waiting for an answer.

"No!" His answer his fast, it makes Ghost flinch and pull his hand back from where it had still been on the bed. Hazel almost feels bad for yelling but then he remembers Ghost's entries. "I don't think it'd be a good idea."

He hears a heavy sigh, chair scraping against the floor as Ghost stands up, "That's why I never told you I liked you… I knew you'd react like this…"

Hazel looks up, anger flashing through his eyes at the accusation, "I don't remember anything! Don't you fucking remember that Simon?"

Ghost growls, coming up and grabbing Hazel's jaw in his hand.

Both men stare the other down, neither wanting to back down until Ghost pulls away, sighing as he turns to look at the floor, "I'm sorry…"

"I liked you. The me before now liked you, it' s written in the journal." Hazel doesn't know why he's saying it but it slips out before he can think better of it, "But then Archer likes me and it seems like we had kissed but I don't remember and I didn't write what exactly happened! I'm fucking confused!" He can feel the tears falling down his face, his bottom lip starting to quiver, "I don't understand anything right now! I remembered Mexico when I was talking to Roach but I couldn't remember why I said it aloud then I read Mexico was you… You were in Mexico and that's why I knew it…"

Before Hazel has finished Ghost is leaning over the railing of the bed, his arms wrapping around the smaller man. He pulls him against his chest and Hazel sobs into his shoulder. Begging for answers that Ghost couldn't give him until he couldn't cry anymore. Then he just sat with his arms around Ghost, hands clenching the man's jacket, trembling.

"It's okay." Ghost whispers into his hair, stroking his back gently, "Don't try and rush things. They'll come back to you and if they don't you can just make new ones."

Hazel nods his head slightly, feeling a rough calloused hand cup his cheek and wipe at the tears. He looks up and sees Ghost looking back down, his sunglasses off showing blue eyes looking back at him.

There's a knock on the door and both men jump, Ghost quickly putting his sunglasses on before Liliana walks in, two cups of coffee in hand.

"James! You passed out for like, two days!" She shakes her head, rolling her eyes at her brother. "I got you some coffee Ghost, I don't know how you like it so it's black. Roach said he'll come after MacTavish finishes killing them at the range."

Hazel chuckles, "He's a Brit, he likes tea." Two pairs of eyes fall on Hazel and he shifts uncomfortably, "I wrote that he doesn't like coffee in the journal… He prefers tea, like I do… Dude Liliana stop fucking smirking!"

Liliana can't help the smirk on her face as she sets down one of the coffees and starts to nurse the other one, "Hey don't speak to me like that! I'm just happy and smug I get to enjoy two cups of coffee."

Hazel snorts, "You're up to something." He eyes her suspiciously, "I know you sister. You're thinking up something awful."

It's her turn to snort, "Says the man who was blushing like a schoolgirl when I walked in."

"I was not!"

"Was too!" She sticks her tongue out before sitting at the foot of the bed. "So tell me little brother, what were you two talking about?"

Hazel crosses his arms over his chest and looks away, "I'm not talking to you until you tell the truth."

Beside him, Ghost starts to laugh shaking his head, "He finished reading the journal and was confused by it."

Liliana makes an 'oh' face, nodding slowly, "So then, James, you got two hot guys pinning for you as their date to the school dance. What are you going to do?"

"Not talking to you, or you now Ghost. Don't tell her!" Hazel turns and gives Ghost as best of a pouty face as he can, "I don't care if I don't remember but it seems like we were good friends. Don't betray me to join her side!"

Ghost freezes in shock momentarily, trying to get the words out of his mouth, "I'm not!"

Liliana starts laughing at the two men, "Oh god, this is hilarious!"

"What's going on in here!"

Liliana sobers up and turns to face the door, "Comedic relief act."

Hazel snorts, trying but failing to hold back his laughter, "What she said."

Ghost puts his hands up, "I don't even know anymore mate."

Doc gives the three a stern look before motioning for Ghost to move aside. "Well remember that this is an infirmary, not someplace you can be as loud as you want." His tone is biting as he shoots a glare at Ghost before examining Hazel.

"Last I looked, Hazel is your only patient at the moment." Ghost shrugs his shoulders, looking away from Doc as he talks, a grin under his mask. He knew just how to piss off Doc and he wasn't about to let the man forget that he was the superior.

Doc seems to figure this out and before he starts yelling at Ghost he decides to keep his comments to himself.

"How do I look?" Hazel watches Doc, "It's Doc right?"

Doc nods his head, "Yeah… You look okay. You did a lot of healing while you were asleep for so long. Let's try and stand?" Doc looks up at Hazel's face, waiting for an answer.

Hazel nods his head, "I'm tired of being laid up… Even if I don't remember, I do know I hate being laid up in a fucking bed."

"That's the spirit." Liliana grins, helping Doc lower the railing and get Hazel into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

"Is dad and Michael still here?" Hazel grunts as his body protests his moving about. It was so used to lying in bed that it wanted nothing to do with having to do extra work to move about.

"Michael had to go back because his knee was acting up really bad. Didn't help him falling to his knee when you woke. Doc offered to look at it but he thought it best to go home so George doesn't get butt hurt."

"George does get offended easily if someone else looks at his patients." Hazel grips the back of his sister and Doc's shirts as they help him move off the bed and start putting weight on his legs.

Ghost is instantly in front of him, his arms outstretched to catch him should he fall. It made a smile appear on his lips.

"What about dad?

"Mother wants to come see you, probably yell at you to come home."

Hazel nods in understanding, "Going to buy me as much time as possible huh? Considerate…"

"How does that feel?" Doc is looking at Hazel's face, a hand against the other man's stomach to help for balance.

"It hurts, but I can stand."

"Where does it hurt at?"

"My side… And my head, it keeps hurting, but that's it."

Doc nods his head and helps Hazel sit back on the bed, "I'll get something for your head. As for your side, it's going to keep hurting for a week or so. The wound is almost completely healed though so in about two weeks you can start training again. Depending on how that week goes after another week I'll clear you for missions should you decide to stay with the 141."

Hazel pulls back slightly, eyes narrowing, "Why would I leave?"

Doc shrugs, "If a man loses his memory, he might want to go back to some place he remembers to help recover."

"I'm not going to run away because of this. I have a mission, a purpose, a way of living I'm not about to give up because I can't remember."

Liliana is beaming down at her brother, "We have a mission, we have a goal, and we have a way of living. Dare face us on the field and know we will be the ones walking away stained by your blood."

Hazel nods his head, "We Mallet's don't run. Even if it means certain death. We will howl at that moon standing tall."

"Never forget."

"Never forget."

"Sounds like you're quoting a movie." Ghost snorts.

Liliana and Hazel shoot Ghost a glare, "It's our family saying."

"Yeah it's pretty fucking weird." Doc can't help but chuckle before leaving the three of them alone.

"He didn't say anything about food…" Hazel looks between Ghost and Liliana after a few minutes, "I don't know about you two but I'm fucking starving." As if on queue, Hazel's stomach growls loudly.

"I'll get you something to eat. I'll be back." Ghost inclines his head before leaving the two alone.

"What do you want to do before he returns?" Liliana sits at Hazel's feet, nursing her coffee again.

Hazel shrugs, lifting the journal, "I think even if I don't remember I should keep writing in here…"

Liliana smiles, hiding it behind the coffee cup, "It's a nice idea. Maybe document things better?"

Hazel rolls his eyes, "I hate writing in detail."

_Hazel's Journal_

_I don't remember anything. I was on a mission and got hit by mortar and then RPG rounds; that's what they told me. For me right this moment, it's like whatever happened after Jacob saved me never happened. Everything in this journal, I don't know how to comprehend. The details of what was done to me while a prisoner, losing Jacob and Joseph… Gabe… That urge to kill and destroy, I don't have it but it's still there. I have an uneasy feeling it's there and now I don't remember how to repress it… All the hard work gone… What am I supposed to do now?_

_I asked that question at the beginning of this journal while the 624 members were being given new orders; now I ask for a different reason. You can move and keep going forward but what if you can't remember anything? _

_I say I'm going to stay here and not run but I'm not sure how… Everyone knows me here but I don't remember any of them… All I remember is Mexico and that it had something to do with Ghost… He likes me, and so does Archer… How did this end up happening?_

_Me before forgetting, you're a fucking idiot for not writing everything out. I could use the fucking help about right now._

_Maybe I could talk to Archer? But then again I don't want to… From what I have written down, it says to stay away from the douche._

_He didn't look like a jerk when I woke up. It was easy to tell he'd been crying._

_My head is starting to hurt… Doc is giving me something to help… Eyed the journal before he left me and Liliana alone. Whatever man…_

_Better put it up before Ghost gets back. I'm fucking starving!_

_James Mallet, the idiot who can't remember shit_

**A/N: I know that in a previous chapter I said Hazel put his name at the end of each entry; that is still true. The reason I didn't put it in the bulk of the chapter is because I'm only typing bits and pieces of entries, not the full thing. I'm not specifying any dates, like how one paragraph was a week before or the day before the next few lines. He's reading them all together, not bothering to read his name at the end or separating things in his mind. Also the mission entries, I'm not posting those. Maybe in the future I will. These are just bits of what he wrote under the missions or around drawings he did. The last entry though is a full entry. Hope you enjoyed!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Yes I know it was only going to be Archer and Hazel but with how things have been looking I'm going to add Hazel and Ghost but which will end up the final pairing, I've yet to decide! Any requests to which one you would like to see, reasoning behind why you prefer one couple over the other? :) Enjoy the chapter!**

Hazel rubs a hand down his face, pausing it over his mouth, yawning. Tears forming at the corner of his eyes, exhausted, as he watches the men running through training with Ghost yelling at them. Two days of resting in the infirmary was enough for him and he took full advantage of being allowed to walk about now. It will be the first day getting to meet everyone, even if a few came to say hi to him while laid up, he still doesn't remember them. Doc says it could be days, weeks, or even months for his memory to return. That's if it did return. He was torn between wanting to remember who everyone was that he'd befriended, remember what happened between him and Archer; but then he thinks about what he wrote about being tortured and shivers at the thought of remembering that. For now he wants to focus on learning who everyone was, again.

"Should you be up and about right now? Your leg is still healing." Hazel turns to see Archer coming up beside him, a frown on his lips, "You've been awake for five days."

"I was asleep resting for two of them." Hazel keeps his eyes on the pit as Roach starts.

Archer watches beside him, resting his forearms on the railing overlooking the course, "You probably don't have the nicest things written about me in your journal."

"Nope." Hazel grins as Roach skids down past a doorway, shooting before flipping up and rushing through it. "Stole that move from me!"

Roach laughs as he finishes the course, "I didn't steal it when you taught it to me!"

Both men smile at each other before Roach gets scolded by Ghost for not hurrying up back into line.

"Why aren't you down there?" Hazel finally turns to look at Archer.

"Toad and I are leaving soon for a mission." Archer keeps his eyes forward on the course, "I wanted to talk to you before we head out."

Hazel nods his head slowly, leaning forward against the railing, "I was wondering when we would talk. You haven't said anything since I woke up and realized I lost part of my memory."

"I didn't know where to start…"

"Now you do?"

Archer nods his head slowly, looking over at Hazel, "It's about when we kissed, and then what happened between us afterwards."

Hazel nods his head once, waiting for Archer to continue.

"Well, I was mean to you, from the beginning because I liked you. I finally kissed you and we started fooling around. I got you off with my hand without jerking you off…" Archer coughs, looking away as his face heats up a bright red. He was speaking fast to get it over with but it didn't take away the anxiety, "I freaked because I wasn't ready to open up to you and you went off on me so hard… No one yells at me, ever, except MacTavish and Toad; but even then, mostly just MacTavish." The words stop flowing and he's staring off at something Hazel doesn't know.

"What happened after that?" Hazel finally asks while the guys leave the pit to go shower.

"I um, we finally talked. I expressed how I wasn't ready and you said you weren't either; to open up to someone." Archer sighs heavily, rubbing his temples with his eyes closed tightly, "I asked what we should do and you said we'd wait until we were ready. However long it would take."

Hazel snorts, "Sounds like something I would say. I always was the more patient twin, letting things sort themselves out instead of trying to force something when it wasn't ready."

"You're pretty different from how you used to be." Archer comments.

Hazel nods his head slowly, "Yeah… I kept a lot of things to myself but now I have another chance and I would like to do things differently. Well, not like I remember how I was before… I didn't exactly explain how I was acting in the journal. It's mostly filled with mission mumbo jumbo."

Archer chuckles, "Well not like I read anything mate, but it looks like you wrote about other things more than missions."

Hazel shoots Archer a playful glare, "I don't know if I should punch you or not."

"Mate, you wouldn't be able to land a single punch even if I went easy on you."

"Screw you." Hazel snorts, pushing away from the railing, "I'm gonna go eat lunch."

"Can I join you?"

"Only if you tell me about all the shitty things you did to me." Hazel gives Archer a wink and starts walking slowly towards the mess hall. Doc might have cleared him to be walking about on his own but it didn't change the fact his legs still hurt.

Archer looks at him, "What?"

Hazel shrugs his shoulders, lifting his hands up in the air innocently before stuffing them into his pockets, "I never went into detail what you did to me, so now you have to tell me if you want to join me for lunch."

"I don't think that's fair."

"Who said life was fair must have forgotten about me." Archer's face falls, noticing the bitterness in Hazel's words.

Taking a deep breath he starts following the other man. They don't say anything else until they're sitting comfortably with food in front of them. Archer asks about his side.

"It still hurts. The stitches came out though so that's a plus. Without all the bandages and such I can take a normal shower." Hazel is staring down at his food, lifting a spoonful of soup to his lips.

"I see Doc is still making you eat soup." Archer chuckles.

Hazel grunts, his eyes squinting in annoyance, "Yeah." He looks across the table at Archer for the first time since they had sat down, "So tell me about our interactions."

Archer almost chokes on his food. "I was hoping you'd forgotten about that." He says through a mouthful before swallowing and sitting back, "Well, how do I begin?"

"From the beginning." Hazel sips his water.

Archer nods slowly, "Okay, well, I wasn't here when you first arrived. I was off on some mission with Toad and a couple of the other guys. When we got back you were already best pals with Roach, the two of you were inseperable. Always running around causing some trouble because the guys liked to prank Roach but he wasn't good at retaliating. With you around? People became cautious to say the least."

Hazel can't help but laugh, "I was the mastermind between me and Jacob."

"I don't doubt that." Archer smiles to himself, taking a sip of his water.

"What else?" Hazel watches him, wanting to hear what else there is about the him that was here.

"Well after a couple days I started to act like I hated you. It was because I became infatuated with you and I didn't want anyone to know. It's not like a lot of people are down for the whole, gays in the military. I was scared so I took it out on you."

"People found out when I was in training so it wasn't like I could hide it. My dad didn't seem to care though so it didn't bother me what others thought. I mean, if the general is okay with it, no one could really do anything to me about it. All dad cared was that I did my job and I did it right. Doesn't matter who I slept with."

Archer nods his head slowly, "You're lucky for that."

"I guess so…" Hazel bites his bottom lip before taking another sip of his water.

"Anyways, it just became habit that instead of letting my feelings show I lashed out with anger. It was out of character with the others because I always kept to myself. Was stoic and quiet; I stood in the back watching the others. I couldn't keep stoic with you though."

Hazel grins, "I have that effect on people."

Archer snorts, "Well it ended up escalating… It was during hand-to-hand combat you tried to flip me. Didn't have enough momentum and with your legs wrapped around my waist I dropped to my knees. Took your shoulder out of place… I felt bad but I refused to let you see that. Instead when it happened and I cursed loudly, I made it so everyone thought I was cursing because the next moment I had Ghost all over me. Mate was furious I injured you meaning you couldn't go on any missions until it healed properly."

"I read about that." Hazel chuckles, shaking his head, "I about killed your ass for that."

"Oh?" Archer finishes his food off.

"Yeah, I keep a knife on me at all times and I pulled it out. Of course I put it away though before anyone noticed." Hazel doesn't look up from his bowl of soup.

"Well I'm glad you didn't stick me." Archer smiles through his voice.

"Archer! MacTavish wants to speak with us before we head out!" Both men look up and see Toad in the doorway, waving at them both, "Hey Hazel, how are you feeling today?"

Hazel smiles at the man, "I'm good, thanks! Hope you guys get back safe. Can't wait to see you two in action at the range when you get back. From what I wrote you two are like gods."

Toad laughs, blushing lightly, "I don't know about that but Archer is insanely good."

"Yep!" Archer grins widely, getting up to put the dishes away and follow Toad.

Hazel looks down at his unfinished food, alone for the first time in a couple of days. Liliana left the day before, her superior jumping down her back for taking a longer break than she told him. Hazel offered to call their father but she said it was fine, hinting they might or might not be involved.

His father would not be returning due to some big meeting and Michael was laid up in bed resting. He about tore his knee apart again and George wasn't about to let him move about and damage it more than it already was.

"How are you feeling today? I saw you watching practice with Archer." Hazel looks up to see Ghost approaching and sitting across the table from him.

He nods his head, "I was there by myself for some time before he came over and we talked a little bit."

"Learn anything good?" Ghost rolls his mask up to sit on top of his nose.

Hazel shrugs his shoulders, "I guess but I don't know if it changes anything. I'm still so confused about a lot of things."

Ghost nods before digging into his lunch while Hazel finishes his.

"Hazel!"

Hazel turns around to see Roach and Chemo coming over. Roach has a huge grin plastered on his face, a mischievous look in his eyes. Chemo looks nervous, not sure he wants to be there.

Hazel can't help the evil grin that plays across his lips, "Just what have you thought up my dear Roach?"

Roach plops down beside Hazel while Chemo sits on his other side, "We need to pull a prank. The king of all pranks. You've been laid up for so long I haven't been able to think up anything good to get the others when they get me."

"What about you Chemo? How'd he drag you into this?"

Chemo grumbles under his breath but when Hazel and Ghost both send him a glare he clears his throat, "Okay, alright fine. I'm involved because Jester got me last week and I'm still finding little pellets around my room."

Hazel lifts an eyebrow, "So we need to get just Jester? Or we going to involve Meat and Worm too?"

"Take them out one by one." Roach giggles.

"Then we need recon." Hazel looks at Ghost, "That's up to you."

Ghost snorts, "What makes you think I'll join in?"

Hazel chuckles, looking Ghost in the eyes despite the man hiding them behind sunglasses, "Because you want to."

Roach and Chemo look between the two men until Ghost cracks, leaning back in his chair, "Fine."

"What about us?" Chemo leans forward, feeling a bit more confident with Ghost willing to help.

"Chemo, I need you to get a few things from around the base. It'll take some time so you'll need to get started as soon as possible. Roach is going to help you."

Roach nods his head, "What about you?"

Hazel grins, "My, I'm just an innocent hurt person. I can't do anything."

"Liar." Ghost shakes his head. "Go see MacTavish. I dropped by the office on the way here. Said he needed to speak with you about something."

"Sure." Hazel pushes up from his seat and hesitates as he starts to turn around, "I don't, uh, um remember, where his office is."

"Oh, looks like you need help again." Ghost stands up, "Maybe this time you can ask nicely for help."

Rolling his eyes, Hazel puts away his dishes, Ghost close behind, "I'll think about it. I never said I was a nice person though."

Ghost chuckles, "I never thought you were mate."

Hazel hums quietly as they make their way to the admin building, passing up men making their way from the barracks in search of food.

"Finally." MacTavish grumbles when the two enter the office.

"Sorry sir, Ghost failed to mention it to me sooner that you needed me." Hazel takes a seat in front of MacTavish's desk, Ghost going to his own.

"Whatever mate." Ghost laughs, ignoring the glare MacTavish gives him.

"Putting aside my lieutenant being lousy, we need to talk about you." MacTavish pushes aside a pile of papers to fold his arms on his desk, watching Hazel.

A frown formed on his lips, "What do you mean sir?"

"Whether or not you wish to stay with the 141. You can't remember anything but I know you're having nightmares; Doc spoke with me about hearing you screaming at night."

Hazel looks away at the floor, "I don't remember what happened in them when I wake up…"

"If you keep this up we can't risk sending you out even when you're physically cleared."

"Aye…"

"What do you think?"

Hazel looks back up at MacTavish, "I don't want to leave. I was here before I lost my memory. I think I should stay here; might help remembering things."

"What about going home? Have you took that into consideration?"

Hazel shakes his head hastily, "It wouldn't help… At all…"

"Why not?"

"You think I should leave don't you? Is that why I'm here? To send me home?" Hazel looks MacTavish in the face, "Don't lie to me sir. I hate liars."

MacTavish snorts, "Son I don't want you to go anywhere. I'm asking because I want to make sure you think everything through before you make your final decision."

"I'm not leaving." Hazel keeps his face devoid of emotion as he speaks. He wasn't going to head back to the states. He didn't know what awaited him and didn't want to know.

"Okay. Well I talked with Doc and you're cleared to go back to sleeping in your room." MacTavish nods his head in approval as he speaks.

"That sounds more relaxing than that white room spelling of rubbing alcohol…" Hazel chuckles. "Only problem is, I don't remember where it's located at."

MacTavish chuckles as well, "Ghost, show him around."

"Bloody hell, why can't one of the yanks? I've already had to show him around once before." Ghost complains, looking up from a stack of papers MacTavish had been ignoring for weeks.

"Ghost…" MacTavish says warningly.

"Fine!" Ghost puts his hands up in surrender, "Then finish your own paperwork!" He lifts the stack of papers and slams them in front of MacTavish, "If you don't, Shepherd will be all over your ass." MacTavish groans, about to say something but Ghost is already dragging Hazel by the arm out of the office. "Lazy ass Scot…"

Hazel laughs, "No comment."

"You just did mate." Ghost motions for Hazel to hurry and follow him.

"Well, mate, I don't mean to disappoint you but there's no hurrying me." Hazel scoffs, shaking his head.

Ghost glances back at Hazel, quickening his pace and when he turns a corner, Hazel looks around confused when he doesn't see Ghost.

"Oh that's fucked up…" Hazel crosses his arms over his chest. "That's real childish Simon." He looks around the hallway. "Well fuck… I have no clue where I am."

There's a laugh behind him but before he can turn around he's yanked into a room and pushed up against a wall.

"Simon!"

"Yes?" The voice is right next to his ear, hands pinned next to his shoulders against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Hazel gives the other man as serious a look as he can muster, despite being flustered.

"I'm pinning you against a wall in a room no one goes into in a hallway no one walks down." Ghost pulls back enough, his hips pushed forward to keep Hazel's pushed against the wall.

Hazel can't help but scoff at the skull balaclava, "I was wondering if you or Archer would make a move first."

"You were waiting?" Ghost speaks, his voice deeper than normal as he leans into Hazel.

The smaller man turns his face away, breathing heavy, "Well if I have two guys wanting to take me to the school dance, I figured I'd let you figure it out who gets me. Maybe play hard to get."

"Doesn't look so hard." Ghost bites Hazel's shoulder lightly through his mask.

"I resent that so much you fucking Brit." Hazel pushes against Ghost, not really trying hard to get the man off of him.

Ghost smirks under his mask, "Bloody yank."

"Aren't you supposed to be showing me around?"

"Yeah." Hazel can feel Ghost shrug before he moves his hands above his head, one hand coming down to lift both of their masks up to their noses.

"This isn't showing me around." Hazel watches Ghost, looking down at the man's mouth as it got closer to his. "This is taking advantage of a man who can't fight back." A moment later Hazel feels Ghost release his wrists, hand running down his arm to rest on either side of his face.

"Is this still taking advantage?"

Hazel reaches up and pulls off Ghost's sunglasses to see those cool blue eyes staring back at him, "Maybe later."

Ghost scoffs, pulling away from Hazel, "So you were serious about playing hard to get."

Hazel shrugs, "I refuse to be an easy lay."

Ghost opens his mouth but quickly shuts it, keeping his thoughts to himself. It probably wouldn't be best to bring up what Archer had done with the man but then again, Hazel doesn't even remember it happening. Instead Ghost pulls his mask back down, hand out with the palm up. Hazel grins and steps into Ghost's space, their faces almost touching. Ghost's eyes widen for a moment, caught off guard by the action and is even more shocked when Hazel slips his sunglasses on him.

Eyes now hidden behind his sunglasses he glares at the other man, "That's not fair."

"I didn't say I wouldn't be a tease." Hazel laughs loudly, stepping out of the room into the hallway, "Now stop being a pansy and show me where my room is."

Ghost rolls his eyes before complying, "Fine… Stupid yank."

"Stupid Brit."

The two chuckle as they make their way out of the admin building where Roach joins them.

"Hey guys!"

"Yo!" Hazel smiles at the man.

Roach grins back, "So how'd it go with the captain?"

"Good? Nothing bad happened." Hazel shoves his hands in his pocket.

"That's good." Roach mimics the action, "I wanted to know what we needed to get?"

"That reminds me, what do I need to find out?" Ghost looks at Hazel.

"Ghost does recon first and then that determines what we need." Hazel points at Ghost's chest, "Need you to find out what they fear. I'm not talking something simple, I mean what will make them run for the hills."

Ghost laughs evilly, "That I can do."

"I'm freaking pumped!" Roach jumps up and down excitedly.

Hazel rolls his eyes, "Calm down man, we haven't even gotten to the best part."

Roach giggles, "So where are you two headed?"

"Showing Hazel where his room is. Poor sap can't remember so I have to spend my precious time showing him around." Ghost looks sideways at Hazel.

Hazel gives him an innocent look, "Can't blame me. Captain made you."

Ghost snorts, "That he did. I'm going to get him back for this."

"Oh you enjoy it." Hazel laughs.

Roach starts laughing, watching the two of them, "You two are hilarious now." Hazel raises an eyebrow at Roach, waiting for the man to elaborate, "I mean, we were all friends before but you never joked or acted like this with the others. I don't know what it is but you seem more relaxed. Which is odd because isn't someone that lost their memory supposed to be going off the edge with paranoia?"

Hazel can't help but laugh when Roach finally stops talking, resting his hands at his sides from talking with them, "Dude, I really was closed off here. Did I not talk much?"

"You did but it was mostly with me or with Ozone about his poor choice of a football team. But then you only really talked with me. Though you did start getting closer to Ghost when he started working out at night with you." Roach shrugs his shoulders, "But then besides that you didn't open up about yourself. We knew you'd been in a task force before this one, how you'd lost brothers, and about being tortured. You never went in detail about any of it though. Even with me. Your face would grow dark when you talked about those three things so no one pushed it."

"What about you?" Hazel turns to look up at Ghost, "What did we talk about?"

Ghost shrugs, "About the same but we never delved deep into anything. You didn't even talk about the nightmares you would get."

Hazel almost stumbles in his step, Roach grabbing his shoulder to keep him from falling, "What did you just say?"

"I uh," Ghost looks away, "Well the thing is, I had wanted to talk to you one night after you had retired to your room. I heard you having a nightmare."

Hazel narrows his eyes for a moment before nodding, "Alright."

Roach giggles, "Ghost is in trouble." He drags out 'trouble' before running off when Ghost growls at him, laughing loudly.

"My bug is gone." Hazel pouts.

Ghost rolls his eyes, chuckling as he opens the door to the barracks, "He's a roach, he'll be back. Doesn't know when to give up."

Hazel starts to chuckle too, walking inside and looking around the hallway, "I don't remember anything about this place."

Ghost pats his shoulder, "It'll be okay."

"Yeah, if I don't remember I can just make new memories."

Ghost smiles under his mask, "Exactly. Now it might be a bit of a walk so we can take it slow. You live on the sixth floor."

Hazel whistles, "What the fuck…"

"I can carry you." Ghost wiggles his eyebrows under his mask.

"Too hard." Hazel snorts, going to the stairs, "Now where are the showers?"

"Second floor, and I was not trying too hard. You just don't appreciate me enough." Ghost jogs past him up the stairs to cross his arms and watch with a smug posture. "Having fun?"

Hazel pushes past him, "Shut the fuck up man. Dick face."

Ghost laughs and jogs up the next flight, "Aw, don't be so pouty mate."

"You're annoying."

"You like me." Ghost shrugs nonchalantly.

"No I don't." Hazel continues up.

"By the way, we have a locker room attached to the shower room. You have some things in there but it has a number lock on it." Ghost decides to walk beside him this time instead of running past. "Soap has a list of the combinations in his office. I can get it for you later when I go back to the office. Still have some work I need to do."

"Soap?" Hazel furrows his brows at Ghost.

"Yeah, MacTavish. Only I get to call him that though." Ghost grins.

Hazel hums quietly, "I can get it myself when I go for dinner."

Ghost gets to the door of the sixth floor and holds it open for Hazel, "Alright."

"I'm curious though, is my door locked?"

"No, we had it open one because a couple of us wrote in your journal, but the other was because we had it open for your family to get your things." Ghost looks away as he says this.

"Well I'm not dead." Hazel smiles lightly, pulling his mask off, "Which one is mine?"

Ghost chuckles lightly, "We didn't mean for it to happen, I swear."

"What room number?" Hazel pauses in his step to look at Ghost, his expression serious.

"624."

"No wonder I didn't talk." Hazel starts walking again until he stops in front of his door, "I'll see you at dinner then."

Ghost nods, "Alright mate. If you need me I'll be in my office. If you ever need me and I'm not in there, I'm on the fifth floor in room 512."

Hazel nods as Ghost turns and leaves. Turning back to his room Hazel nervously opens the door. Inside everything is neatly put away, the bed made, clothes packed neatly away in a dresser. Moving to the desk he pulls the chair out, sitting he runs his hands over the desk, breathing in deep.

"So this is my new home…" Hazel reaches into his pants pocket, setting down his journal. "Wonder how pissed Doc will be if I do a light workout?" Grinning to himself Hazel moves to the middle of the floor and starts doing pushups. It's not long though before his body hurts too much to continue and he falls back onto his bed, gasping for air.

"I'm so out of shape." He mumbles aloud.

o0o

Ghost mumbles under his breath.

"Speak up!"

"I said," Ghost clears his throat, looking across the office at MacTavish, "how long until my next mission?"

"That wasn't it, but to answer that question it requires the knowledge Archer and Toad bring back. Other than the lead they're following, Shepherd is giving everything to Shadow Company."

Ghost grumbles again, annoyed, "Fucking bullshit."

MacTavish shrugs, "Gives you time to talk to Hazel?"

Ghost snorts, lifting the bottom of his balaclava up to sip from a glass of water, "He's playing hard to get."

"Oh?" MacTavish watches Ghost, noticing that behind the annoyance in his voice it had softened to speak about the other man. "Doesn't want to get involved with someone on the force?"

"He already has." The words leave Ghost's mouth before he realizes what he said. MacTavish didn't know about Archer, assuming the man had been devastated about Hazel because he blamed himself after the way he'd been treating the younger man. "I mean-"

MacTavish cuts him off, a hard look on his face, "Who?"

Ghost averts his eyes behind his sunglasses, "I don't know what you're talking about. I meant he was involved with someone on his old force."

"Ghost." MacTavish is walking around his desk to stand in front of his friend, "Who is he involved with?"

Ghost shakes his head, "No one here."

"Ghost." MacTavish is towering over the sitting man, "That's a direct order from your superior."

"Oh, you're going to pull rank on me about this?" Ghost stands up, furious that MacTavish would do something like that. "After everything! You want to do that?"

"Ghost, I need to know. For your sake, Hazel's, and who ever this person is. If something happens I need to know to be able to respond." MacTavish has his arms folded over his chest, watching Ghost.

"If I tell you, you can never bring it up with me."

"Ghost…"

"Promise me!" Ghost practically yells his demand, pointing a finger at his friend's chest.

"You know I can't." MacTavish's eyes are sad as he looks at his friend, his arms unfolding to hang by his sides.

Ghost looks away, "Archer… They didn't have sex but they did more than kiss."

MacTavish looks at Ghost like he just grew a second head, mouth agape before he finally finds his voice, "What?"

"I don't want to talk about it!" Ghost moves around his desk and out the door.

He makes his way to the barracks up to his room. He opens the hallway door, making his way to his room when he turns the corner and sees someone standing in front of his room. He stops, watching the person hesitantly knock on the door. Ghost couldn't help the grin spreading across his face seeing a black mask with three red stripes across it.

He walks towards Hazel, unable to hide the grin under his mask, "Can I help you?"

Hazel jumps slightly, turning to see Ghost approaching him, "Oh! Hey, um, I was hoping you were in here…"

"Well I'm here now." Ghost steps up to his door, unlocking and swinging it open.

Hazel takes the invitation, entering the room and standing in the middle, looking around at how neat the room is, "It's clean."

"Like yours?"

Hazel nods, "Like mine…"

Ghost chuckles, shutting the door and walking over to his desk, "Feel free to sit."

"Alright…" He turns to go to the desk chair to see Ghost already sitting in it, grinning under his mask. Rolling his eyes he moves to Ghost's bed and sits down, "I came over here to ask you something."

Ghost nods slowly, "Okay."

"Did you find out my locker number?" His cheeks grow pink under his mask. Ghost starts laughing and Hazel glares at him, "I'm serious! I tried working out in my room and I'm all sweaty and smell bad and I wanted to shower but all my towels are locked in my locker…"

Ghost stops laughing and gives him a glare this time, "You shouldn't be working out."

Hazel scoffs, "Whatever. I was bored. I can't sit and do nothing."

"You're allowed to walk around." Ghost counters, "You can do plenty of things being able to walk around."

"It's boring!" Hazel complains. "I went to the recreational room, thinking maybe I could relax with some of the guys but it didn't exactly work…"

"How'd you find it?"

"Ozone came by my room."

Ghost nods his head slowly, "Well either way, you're not supposed to be working out. You just got your stitches out."

"Do you have the combination or not?" Hazel is getting irritated.

"No. Maybe you should've thought about asking MacTavish before climbing five flights of stairs." Ghost pulls his mask off to show his grin.

"Fucking Brit."

"Stupid yank." Hazel looks at Ghost as he stands up, walking over to him, "You're quite the frustrating guy."

"I know." Hazel shrugs his shoulders, standing up before Ghost can pin him again.

"I can go ask Soap, or you can borrow one of my towels." Ghost steps up so their faces are just inches apart. "What do you think?"

"It'll stink like you." Hazel looks away, fainting a disgusted look.

"I want to kiss you."

Hazel snaps his head to look at Ghost, his face serious, "You want to kiss me?"

Ghost nods his head, bringing their faces closer together, "Can I?"

Hazel watches Ghost, pulling his own mask off, watching how Ghost looks him over, "Do I even have a choice?"

Ghost chuckles lightly, "If I say yes you'll just walk out."

Hazel thinks about doing just that but decides to lean forward, his eyes closing.

"Fuck…" Ghost mumbles, his arms wrapping around Hazel's back, pulling the man against his chest.

Hazel can't help the smile on his lips, holding Ghost's face in his hands, "That good?"

"No idea mate…" Ghost pulls back momentarily, looking down at hazel colored eyes before capturing his mouth again. He was completely captivated as their tongues touched, breath coming in gasps. "I've been waiting for this."

Hazel hums, stepping into Ghost, relaxing into the soft exploratory kiss.

"You know how to drive a man crazy." Ghost moves his hands to Hazel's sides.

"I try." Hazel pulls back slightly, smiling up at Ghost."

"You don't have to try, you just do." Ghost nips Hazel's chin lightly.

Hazel lets his eyes close, smiling. The pressure on his front disappears and he feels a biting sting on his wrists and ankles. Gasping he opens his eyes, cold water splashing down his face. His dried lips crack as he whimpers, trying to drink the water but a fist strikes his cheek. A loud crack is followed by a pitiful scream as a man in a suit steps up to him, grabbing his chin forcing him to look up. That's when he notices the white room, a table set to the side with different instruments spread out on it.

The man growls something at him, demanding him to answer his questions, but he yanks his face away, looking down at his bloodied body strapped to a metal chair. There's a noise and he looks up, eyes widening at the familiar sight. A battery with two cables connected to it in the hands of a soldier as he approaches.

"No!" He yells, his body starting to shake as the memory fades away and he's back in the room with Ghost.

Ghost moves back, holding his hands up in the air, "I wasn't going to go further than kissing. I swear. I don't want to push you." He feels like he's on the edge of crying himself when he sees the tears falling down Hazel's face. The man looks absolutely terrified. "What's wrong?"

"A white room, a metal chair, a table…" Hazel shakes his head, falling back to sit on the bed, the memory fresh in his mind. He's hiding his face in his hands, sobbing. "The things they did to me…"

Ghost rushes to Hazel, dropping to his knees in front of him, reaching out carefully, "Not here. No one will hurt you here. I swear it."

Hazel moves his hands to see Ghost staring up at him, cool blue eyes glinting with tears unshed, "I'm scared… I remember a white room… A battery they were going to shock me with..."

Ghost shakes his head, "I'm here. I'm right here. Whatever happened is the past, you're safe here."

Hazel gasps for breath as Ghost holds him in a tight hug, scattered memories of being tortured wrecking him to the core. For him, reading what he'd wrote had no effect on him. It was something he didn't remember, it didn't plague him. All he could remember was Jacob on top of him, coughing up blood as he died. Now he wasn't sure what he was going to do with these memories surfacing. He wanted them to stay gone, let him forget the things that had driven him near mad.

Ghost is still whispering to him, telling him everything is going to be okay but he just kept shaking his head. He didn't believe that for one second. He doesn't think that's possible.

o0o

"How have you been sleeping this past week?"

Hazel shrugs his shoulders, looking across the desk to see Doc looking down at a notepad, "I get around four hours. I think that's good."

Doc looks up at him, "What about nightmares? Are they still happening?"

Hazel looks away, eyes scanning the room, "Yeah…"

"What about any other memories coming back?"

His eyes shut; sighing before he speaks, "No... Only what I remembered when I was with Ghost and even then they're only bits and pieces. Fragments…"

Doc nods his head, "Have you been writing in your journal?"

Hazel opens his eyes, turning to look at Doc, "Yeah, I got a new one though… I just couldn't shake off this weird feeling writing in the old one… I don't know who that man is that was writing in that one… He was vicious and I don't recognize him."

"You don't feel anything that he did?" Doc is watching him, respecting Hazel's decision to call himself from before losing his memories as a different person.. It was his way of trying to cope with things.

"I get urges, but not like what he'd written down about. These are mild while his were detailed about doing… Awful things…" Hazel shakes his head, "I don't like to think about what was written in there."

Doc nods, "What about the mission entries?"

"They don't do anything. I can't remember any of it. Nothing seems familiar." Hazel sighs, "Doc, I don't think I want to remember anything else."

"It's understandable to think that. You went through some things that could easily break a man and you came out alive. It affected you greatly that seeing and speaking with you now, without the memories, you're a different person. You bounced around a lot with your insistent questioning but now you're actually showing interest. Putting a part of you out there and really letting yourself relax around here." Doc sets the notepad down on his desk, entwining his fingers.

Hazel takes a breath, nodding as he listens to Doc, brows furrowing, "That's what I don't get. I was like myself but then I kept to myself? It doesn't make sense… How could I have done that?"

"You did."

Hazel looks up to see Doc watching him, "I don't understand who he was or what he was thinking."

"Given time, you will." Doc taps a finger on the notepad, "It's been a week and a half, you can move around fine. Physically you're up to par to start training again. Maybe getting back in shape and having something to put your focus on will help you mentally."

"Thanks Doc." Hazel pushes up out of the chair giving the man a half smile, "With the all clear I'm gonna go run a few laps."

Doc chuckles, "Don't push yourself too hard now."

"I won't." Hazel leaves the infirmary, taking the long way to the track. He didn't want to chance run into anyone at the moment. He was conflicted on the inside and he may be ready physically to get back in the game but his mind wasn't.

Getting to the track he stretches out with several exercises before he takes off. He keeps his eyes forward, arms up, breathing in and out properly. The only sound is the slap of his boots against the track and the pounding growing in his ears. It's comforting as he pushes himself after being laid up for so long. Relaxed him more than anything else could. Let him think back to Ghost holding him as he sobbed uncontrollably. Remembering Roach coming in, having been looking for the pair of them. He'd immediately stepped back out, a look from Ghost telling him to give them privacy. Roach didn't ask about it later, only making sure Hazel knew he was there to support him whenever he needed it. It makes a smile appear on Hazel's lips. Even while closed off, he picked the right friends to be around.

"You shouldn't push yourself mate!"

Hazel grins and waves across the track to see Roach waving at him. He decides to cut across, slowing down to a walk, gasping for breath. "I'm so out of fucking shape…"

"Completely." Roach giggles, "So Doc cleared you to start training again?"

Hazel nods, leaning forward to put his hands on his knees, "Yeah."

"I get to kick your ass for a few weeks until you're back in your best shape!" Roach jumps up excitedly, "You've no idea how much of a cocky prick you can be about how fast you are."

Hazel can't help that right as he stands up straight he's bending forward again laughing, shaking his head, "Oh no, I know how much of a prick I can be." He finally stands up straight again after getting some composure back to see Roach pouting, "I had a twin brother that was just as competitive as me. That's not including my other four brothers, well Michael never did care about it but the rest of us? Man…" Hazel chuckles, starting towards the barracks with Roach walking beside him.

"Yeah, you make me look bad in front of MacTavish." Roach whines, "Especially when I'm trying specifically to get his attention!"

"What do you need his attention for?" Hazel snorts, "You were the FNG before I arrived and you're already running missions with just you and MacTavish."

Roach pats Hazel's shoulder, "You'll work your way back up to two man teams."

Hazel shakes his head with a small smile, "Not soon enough."

Roach stops in front of the barrack doors, "I'm heading to dinner. Shower then meet up, Ghost got something for us."

Hazel nods and the two part ways.

o0o

Hazel slips a small piece of paper to Chemo.

Chemo grins, "I was wondering when you'd come over here."

"Didn't want it to look obvious." Hazel reaches out and takes the magazine Chemo was reading, "So what's so interesting in this thing anyways?" Chemo yells out in surprise and tries to snatch it back but it's too late. Hazel grins, looking at the picture taped inside the magazine, "Who is this?"

Chemo grumbles, annoyed, "Fucking FNG, I ought to kick your sorry ass for this."

"I won't tell anyone." Hazel hands Chemo the magazine back, whispering, "They're cute, I'm a bit jealous."

Chemo snorts and shoves Hazel away as the man starts laughing loudly, "To hell with you."

Grinning, Hazel makes his way out of the mess hall, Roach jogging up to his side, "What was that about?"

"Oh just irritating Chemo." Hazel pats Roach's arm, "You two just make sure you get everything right. I'll handle the rest. Signal when you're done."

Roach nods, "Might take a day or two to get everything. A few items I'll need to head into town for."

Hazel nods, "Right, can you get MacTavish to let you go?"

"Yeah, I'll just have to be careful of who goes with me." Roach grins, "So want to go play some games or chill in the rec room?"

Hazel shakes his head, "I've had enough as I can take of video games this past week. My brother sent me a book to read so I think I'll give it a try."

"Nerd." Roach slaps Hazel on the shoulder, "Tell me what it's about if it's good. I'm going to go show those idiots how it goes down."

Hazel can't help but roll his eyes, "You have fun with that Roach." His friend waves at him as he starts jogging to the rec room, sure to make a fool of himself.

In the barracks Hazel is about to open his door when someone steps out into the hallway just a few doors down. It didn't surprise him that it was Archer.

"Hey mate."

"Hey Archer."

"We haven't really talked this past week."

Hazel shrugs, opening his door, "I guess not."

"Something happen?"

"No." He answers quickly, shaking his head.

"That was a fast reply." Archer eyes him making Hazel fidget where he's standing.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well I'm here if you need to talk or want to." Archer walks over to him, leaning against the door frame.

Hazel can feel his heart starting to race, face burning up under his mask, "Thanks man."

"No problem." Archer leans in and gives Hazel a light kiss on his forehead before turning and walking away.

It takes all his might not to slam the door shut, fear of waking the man on his bed but as he turns away from locking it he meets a pair of cool blue eyes. He clears his throat and steps around the man, moving to his desk and taking his mask off putting it next to a black balaclava with a skull on it. He feels hands on his shoulders, thumbs pressing into him and he lets out the breath he had been holding. Head lolling forward he lets himself be turned around, pressed up against the desk.

"You were gone when I woke up."

Hazel chuckles lightly, "I had to go speak with Doc and he gave me the clear so I went and ran around the track. I showered and got dinner after that."

Ghost hums, pressing their lips together, "What about that just now with Archer?"

It takes everything in him to not roll his eyes as hard as he can and groan aloud, "You got issues."

"So do you." Ghost steps back and sits on the edge of the bed, leaning forward to grab his boots on.

"Stupid Brit."

Ghost chuckles, leaning in and giving Hazel another kiss when the man sits beside him, a book in his hands, "Going to read it?"

"No, just thinking about staring at the cover. Maybe if I do that long enough the books' knowledge will transfer to my brain." Hazel scoffs, "Of course I'm going to read it."

"It's a good book." Ghost stands up, grabbing his mask and sunglasses on, "And you should watch that attitude. I'm your superior office."

"Superior my ass." Hazel rolls his eyes this time, kicking his boots off and leaning back against the wall, "We kicked your asses and won our freedom."

"Yet you lie in bed with me." Ghost laughs and before the pillow Hazel has thrown hits him he's out the door and down the hall.

"Fucking Brit." Hazel chuckles to himself, opening to the first page.

_Hazel's Journal Entry_

_I'm healing, slowly but surely. Doc has finally given me the go ahead to start training again. I'm excited to get back in the game. No more sitting around._

_I should mention I'm seeing (?) Ghost. You know, just in case I lose my memory again… And the question mark is because we haven't done anything. He naps in my room and he's come at night twice, holding me while I cry or have a nightmare._

_Makes me think about how Jacob would hold me when we were younger but now it's different. This isn't Jacob, it's a man that likes me. I don't know if I like him back. I don't even know if I like Archer either._

_He kissed me on the forehead earlier… I don't know what I'm supposed to do. It feels awkward, out of place. I'm an idiot. Whatever. Who cares, right?_

_I know I've stopped caring and just let things happen. Stop trying to force things to happen. It'll work out eventually. Eventually… _

_Gotta get up early for training. I'm fucking excited I don't know if I'll be able to get to sleep soon. I'm just going to read the book Michael gave me some more. I like it, it has my attention so far._

_Hazel_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm so sorry! Omg! Longest time since the last update but I have legit reasons, I swear! So first off I hurt my back. I don't know what I did or know what exactly is wrong but I strained or sprained it and it hurts like an s.o.b. to move or sit or walk. Missed a whole day of classes because of it so you know it's serious. Then the worst was that our internet got turned off because of some idiot. Grrr! Couldn't even write since everything is on google docs and I was in too much pain either way. Anyways, I'm so sorry and I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Also warning for violence and suggestive non-con.**

"Now you try yourself."

Hazel nods his head, putting his right eye to the scope and pulling the trigger.

"Good. You were closer that time." Toad beams from where he's crouched with his own sniper rifle.

"I'm still not making it though." Hazel frowns, lowering his rifle as he turns to look at Toad.

"It'll take some time to get back in the groove of things." Toad pats Hazel's shoulder while standing up. "Keep at it. I need to go deal with some paperwork. Having some issues with my rifle, need to order some parts for it."

Hazel nods, "Alright. Good luck."

"Thanks." Toad smiles, walking away and almost running into Archer.

"He's still having trouble with that one shot?"

Toad nods, "Yeah, can't seem to make it still. He's off by a few inches which can make all the difference out there."

Archer looks over to where Hazel is still practicing, unbeknownst of their conversation about him, "It's been two full weeks since he woke up; give him a little more time and I think he'll be back shooting as good as he did."

"Help him? You're the better teacher than me." Toad gives his friend's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before disappearing.

Left alone with Hazel for the first time since their last talk Archer wasn't sure what to do. He was all for helping the man but he didn't want to push him either. Make him feel like he has to speak with him but instead give him space. He'd been doing that but not speaking with him now could hurt him in the long run. He needed to get back in shape with his shooting. What's a sniper if he can't shoot? A useless guy that's taking up space for someone better. He didn't want Hazel to get washed up and sent somewhere else.

Taking a deep breath Archer comes to kneel beside Hazel, "Change your hand positioning. Your left hand should be further down the barrel but don't lock your elbow. You want to be able to move your hand if need be for the next target."

"I've been trying that." Hazel groans after he misses another shot. "I've been trying and trying but it just won't work!"

Archer shakes his head quickly, a hand reaching out and touching Hazel's shoulder, "Calm down, don't let it get you worked up mate. Tensing up isn't going to help."

Hazel lets his head fall forward so his forehead is pressed into the dirt, "I know… I'm just so fucking stressed! I don't even know what to do right now. I need this to fucking work…"

Archer takes in a deep breath, "Let me help then." With a small nod from Hazel, Archer lays his rifle down before pressing his body against Hazel's moving his hands over the other mans', "Let me move your hands."

"Alright." Hazel lifts his head up, watching Archer reposition his hands.

"Now try."

Hazel takes a deep breath, freezing his body as he stares down the scope and with determination he pulls the trigger. A loud ping reaches their ears and Hazel laughs triumphantly, "YES!"

Archer can't help the laughter infecting him to laugh as well, rolling away from Hazel to set up with his own gun, "Now try again. Remember where your hands are, how you're whole body is positioned, what it feels like. Commit it to memory."

Hazel nods his head enthusiastically, "Got it! I'm going to try again."

"Get back in that state first, don't let your emotions run wild." Archer pats Hazel's shoulder, "I'm watching. Go when you're ready now."

"Okay." All expression drops from Hazel's face as he readies himself, taking a deep breath before pulling the trigger.

"Good, now take a knee and do it again."

"Oh come on, I won't make it!" Hazel complains, getting up on one knee.

"Don't complain, just do it. You wanted to let everything go, not think about things? This is it. This is the way. Get better than before." Archer looks up at Hazel and gives him a smug grin, "Though of course you can't be better than me. Maybe Toad, but me, no way."

"Douche." Hazel chuckles, positioning himself.

"Move your hand. You're kneeling, not lying on the ground."

Hazel lets out a deep breath, "This isn't as relaxing as I was hoping it would be."

Archer rolls his eyes, "Would it make you better if I said you get a reward if you make the shot?"

"Yes!" Hazel whines, moving his hand to a different position, "Here?"

"I told you to commit to memory, it's the feeling. Does it feel the same?"

Hazel grumbles under his breath before he takes a deep breath and fires.

"Good job! Now do it again."

"Where's my reward?" Hazel pouts.

"Do it again." Archer keeps staring forward through his scope, "One little shot isn't going to get you a reward. Prove to me you got what it takes to be among the very best."

"Jerk…" Hazel reloads, "I'll fucking prove to you I **am** the best."

Archer nods his head in approval, watching as Hazel takes shot after shot. Forcing him to get into odd positions and staying there until he hits the target. Even after the sun has gone down Archer is yelling at him to make shot after shot. The captain coming and checking on them doesn't make Archer let up either.

"Ask one of the guys to bring us dinner, sir?" Archer looks up at MacTavish, "We're getting somewhere and I don't want him to break his concentration yet."

Hazel groans, slumping forward onto his stomach, "No more! Please, I'm so tired and hungry!"

"Get over it." Archer rolls his eyes at Hazel's over the top reaction. "Put in a good two more hours of hitting that target and I'll let you go."

MacTavish starts to laugh at the two men, "I'll get Scarecrow to bring some food. Archer, try not to kill the kid."

"Aye, sir." Archer points at Hazel, "Now get back to shooting."

"Devil!" Hazel yells before doing as he's told and when MacTavish has left them alone starts to speak, "Thank you for helping me out."

Archer smiles, looking down his scope, "I wanted to."

"Did you?" Hazel glances at Archer before looking down his own scope, aiming.

"Why wouldn't I?" Archer turns to watch Hazel take another shot.

Hazel shrugs, "I haven't exactly been talking to you."

Archer chuckles, "Yeah, it almost feels like you've been avoiding me."

Hazel blushes under his mask, "I haven't been sure of what to feel or how to act. Don't know who I like or who I can trust. I mean, Ghost and Roach I trust. They've been there for me since the beginning, helping me realize who I was here and who everyone else is. Obviously there's Scarecrow too, I know him from way back in the day, before the 624. You, I don't know how to act around you."

"Be yourself?" Archer suggests, pointing down range, "Keep shooting."

Hazel nods and a silence engulfs the two men. Even when Scarecrow brings them food, watching them for a short time before leaving, they are still silent. The only noise is the sound of Hazel firing and hitting the target.

After two hours Archer sits up, crossing his legs, "Go ahead and eat."

Hazel groans loudly, a smile on his lips, "Fucking finally! The smell of the food was killing me!"

Archer smiles, "Whatever."

The two men eat, Hazel mumbling to himself about how good it is despite having gone cold. Archer just rolls his eyes, enjoying his food in silence.

"You're always quiet and to yourself." Hazel sets down his empty cup of water, "Why?"

Archer shrugs his shoulders, "Never did have the best childhood or many friends. When I joined up I decided to keep my old life separate from this life. Didn't work how I wanted though."

Hazel watches Archer sigh heavily, setting his fork down, "What do you mean?"

Archer shakes his head, "I don't want to talk about it."

Hazel nods his head, "I understand that."

"Do you?"

Hazel can't help but laugh, his expression growing dark, "I understand."

"Yeah, I guess you do." Archer pats Hazel's shoulder, "You did good. Should be back and ready to kick ass in no time."

Hazel grins, pulling his mask completely off from where it'd been sitting on his nose, "What about my reward?"

Archer scoffs, "Greedy aren't you. I let you eat dinner."

"You let me? Oh fuck you man, I would have eaten even if you said I couldn't. Never know when you won't be able to get good meals three times a day." Hazel sits back, resting his weight on his hands. "Now what is my reward for making those shots?"

"What do you want?" Archer grins.

"Oh?" Hazel laughs, "Making a move, are you?"

Both men blush, "I'm trying."

Hazel's blush turns a deeper shade of red, "You're pretty bad at picking someone up."

Archer shrugs, putting a hand on Hazel's cheek, "Whatever. Just shut up and kiss me." Hazel listens, leaning forward into the kiss as Archer moves to lean over him. "Are you going to regret this?"

Hazel lies back, hands pulling Archer with him, "I'm not thinking… I don't want to." Before Archer can say anything back Hazel pushes up with his hips making the man groan low in his throat. "Show me what we did the last time we were like this."

Archer buries his face in Hazel's shoulder, gasping for breath, "I don't know if you want me to do that."

"Just shut up and fucking do it." Hazel nips Archer's ear, "Come on… You going to make me beg?"

"I wouldn't be able to say no if you did that… But still…" Archer lifts his body up and away from Hazel with all his might, "I can't do this… I want to but we can't…"

"Why not?" Hazel sits up, watching as Archer moves away, "What's stopping you?"

"You." Archer sighs, "I don't think you're ready to do this."

Hazel scoffs, lifting his rifle up, "Fine."

Archer stands up, stopping Hazel in his tracks, "You lost your memory, you're going through a lot of things. You can't process everything and doing this; with me? It could hurt you!"

Hazel nods, deflating, "Alright… but I can't keep doing this… I need something."

Archer feels his chest tighten, hands clenching at his sides, "You don't want to go down that path."

"What path? Where I feel something?" Hazel feels himself firing back up, throwing his free hand up in the air, "I need to feel something! I don't feel anything! I thought not caring would work like it always has for me but it's not! Not anymore!" He turns away, trying to hide his tears, "It helps throwing myself into training but there's nothing else… I've been trying, just like when taking those shots, I've been taking them but I don't feel anything like I did before."

Archer watches Hazel's shoulders start to shake and he jumps forward, throwing his arms around the smaller man, "It's going to be okay, James. You went through a traumatic experience, a lot of bad things happened to you and now you've lost your memory. It's okay that nothing is like it was before. It's okay if it doesn't make you feel anything. You just have to find something that does make you feel."

Hazel sighs, letting himself lean back into Archer, "I've been trying. For days I've been trying…"

Archer shakes his head, "Go put your rifle up, shower, and get some sleep. I'll get the dishes back to the mess hall. It's going to take longer than a few days, maybe even months to figure everything out. So just worry about right now. Go rest up, okay?"

"Alright." Hazel sighs again, stepping out of Archer's now open arms.

"We'll talk again tomorrow, alright?" Archer pats Hazel's shoulder, "It's going to be okay."

"I hope so…" Hazel walks away, cleaning and putting his rifle away before heading to the showers.

Upstairs in his room he's about to collapse in bed when there's a light knock. Growling in frustration he swings the door wide open to see Ghost with his arms crossed.

"Why are you pissed?"

Ghost scoffs, "Let me in."

Hazel rolls his eyes, stepping out of the way and letting Ghost in, locking the door behind him, "What's up?"

"I heard from MacTavish that you were out training with Archer for several hours." Ghost sits on Hazel's bed, his arms still crossed.

"I'm not in the mood to fucking deal with your ass." Hazel grabs his mask off his face, throwing it on his desk.

"Don't want to think, just fuck huh?" Ghost snaps, pulling his sunglasses off to show his glare.

"Fuck…" Hazel puts his face in his hands. "Leave me alone man… I don't know what to fucking do right now…"

"I've been here every day since you woke up trying to be as supportive as I can."

Hazel sighs, "I know you have. Damn it Simon, I know you have."

"Then why go to him then, James?" Ghost is standing up, face just inches from Hazel's. "I thought…" Ghost stops talking, reaching a hand up to his face before turning away and leaving Hazel to stare at the door.

"Fuck…" Hazel groans, curling up in his bed unable to stop the tears falling down his face.

In the middle of the night he wakes up, sitting upright covered in sweat. His chest is heaving as he tries to catch his breath like he'd just run several miles.

"Are you okay?"

Hazel snaps his head to the side to see Ghost had come back after he'd fallen asleep, "I was having a nightmare."

Ghost nods as he sits up, pulling Hazel into his chest, "Want to talk about it?"

"I'm sorry about last night."

Hazel can feel Ghost shaking his head, "We're not dating… I can't get upset with you if you decide to be with Archer…"

"I haven't decided anything…" Hazel groans, putting his face in his hands, "I don't know what I want…"

"You don't feel anything… I know what it's like. I didn't feel anything until I met Soap and felt respect and undying loyalty. I'll follow that man anywhere, even to the gates of Hell. And Roach, he's like a little brother to me." Ghost presses his mouth to Hazel's head, "It's going to be okay. You'll feel again. It'll take time."

"Archer said about the same thing." Hazel sighs, "But how long will that take?"

He feels Ghost shrug, "It took me a long time."

"Right…"

"Try and get some sleep now." Ghost pulls Hazel down on the bed, covering them both with the blanket.

"I've noticed people keep telling me what to do…"

"We're trying to help." Ghost lifts his mask up to kiss Hazel's shoulders and back of his neck.

Hazel sighs, a smile tugging lightly at the corners of his mouth, "Thanks…"

Ghost hums, holding Hazel close to him as the man falls back into a fitful sleep plagued with nightmares.

In the morning he looks tired, dark circles forming under his eyes. He tries hiding them under his mask but Ghost laughs, shaking his head.

"You're tired. Go back to sleep for half an hour. You don't need to get up yet." Ghost pushes Hazel's tired body back in bed.

"I don't want to sleep… I'll just have more nightmares… I think I'll go see Doc…" Hazel drags himself back out of bed, "I remembered more… I should let him know."

Ghost nods in understanding, "Don't think you can skip all of training though."

Hazel chuckles, "I'll keep that in mind."

Ghost rubs a thumb under Hazel's eye before leaving the man to his own devices. Getting dressed up and putting his boots on before making his way to the infirmary.

"Doc?" Hazel looks around the office, not sure if he should knock on the man's bedroom door behind his office. "Doc I remembered more from my time as a prisoner… I figured I should come talk to you first…"

The door to the bedroom opens to show Doc glaring at him, sleep still in his eyes, "I'm listening."

Hazel takes a seat at the desk while Doc is making a cup of coffee, "It left off where my last memory stopped." He can feel the pain shooting through his body, trembling as they carve into him in his mind. "They were shocking me but I wouldn't give in."

Doc nods his head, sitting down and pulling out his notepad.

"I lost consciousness, but they woke me up and I could smell piss… I must have lost my bladder some time while they were shocking me…" Hazel groans, hiding his face in his hands.

"Hey, no, it's okay James. You don't have to feel embarrassed about that. You survived much more than any man I know has gone through." Doc says quickly, urging Hazel to sit back up and uncover his face, "You don't need to be ashamed. It's okay man."

Hazel nods, taking a deep breath, "The man in the suit, he came up to me, yanking my face up so we were staring eye to eye."

Hazel closes his eyes, leaning back in the chair, senses overloading as he opens them to stare up at the man in the suit. He was cursing, demanding Hazel answer the same questions he always asked.

"Go fuck yourself!" Hazel growls through the pain.

"You're going to regret that." The man turns and picks up a butcher knife while a soldier steps behind Hazel, yanking him by the hair forcing him to look away from him. Hazel struggles but the man keeps his head still, hand gripping his jaw. "You think you know pain?"

Hazel glares at the man with his eyes, watching as the knife is lifted above his face. Cool steel touches his forehead, pressing down into his skin until bright red blood spills from the small cut.

"Don't think this'll make me talk!"

"Oh it will." The man grins as he presses the knife down harder and drags it down at an angle, carving to above Hazel's left eye, laughing over Hazel's groans of pain. The man lifts the blade and goes over the cut several times. Hazel is still fighting him, refusing to answer and the man makes two more cuts above Hazel's brow. "Now talk."

A pain filled chuckle fills the room, "Screw you."

The man laughs, dragging the knife from under Hazel's left eye down to his jaw, cutting deep under the bone. Hazel's eyes widen as he tries to fight back from cursing out. On the fifth slice he can't fight it anymore and his scream fills the room making the man eager as he starts two fresh cuts. They start from Hazel's jaw down and over his shoulder. Hazel's knuckles are white as he grips the arms of the chair, shaking his head as the man cuts into his arm.

When Hazel still hasn't given in he drags the knife down making a jagged line from his elbow to his wrist, repeatedly going over it. Cutting deeper and deeper until a decent pool of blood is under the chair.

"Do what you want." The man in the suit sets the blood covered blade down and steps out of the room.

The man watching from the table grins, "I got just the idea."

"Are you sure we can do that?" Another man asks.

"We already have." A third man laughs, grabbing Hazel's jaw. "Nothing protects him here."

The first man is leaning forward, hands gripping Hazel's thighs, "I think he likes it."

"He is good with his tongue." A fourth man comments, grinning happily as he unzips his pants. "I don't care what you guys do, I want that mouth."

The first laughs as Hazel visibly gulps, eyes widening as he watches the man approach, "Let's get him on the table first. Move the instruments."

The second and third man do as he says, removing the tools from the room while the first and last one untie Hazel. Supporting his entire weight, Hazel's legs bruised and knees dislocated, they toss him over the table.

"Tie his hands together." The first tosses a rope to the last one who does as he's told.

"You don't have to explain this part."

Hazel looks up from where he's sitting to see Doc watching him intently, "Yeah…" He takes a deep breath, "It was like that for awhile. I'd be tortured and then he would leave and let his men do what they want. It went on for weeks, I don't know, but it was the worst…"

"You remembered all of it?" Doc sets his empty cup of coffee down.

"No, Joseph is still alive…" Hazel sighs, leaning his head back to stare up at the ceiling. His eyes close as he thinks back to the dream, his past.

"I'll fucking kill you!" Hazel growls, glaring up at the man in the suit.

"Go ahead and try." The man sneers, lifting the knife up and pointing the tip at Hazel's left eye. He'd been cutting over the previous cuts making them deeper. Hazel knew they were going to leave nasty scars on his face like the ones forming down his arm. "But know I'll make you blind if you keep fighting me."

Hazel can't help but scoff, "I'm not afraid of you."

"But you are." The man lifts the knife ready to slice down at Hazel's face but stops when Hazel flinches away. "Just that right there proves it."

Hazel takes a deep breath, shaking his head as he looks up at the man, "That proves nothing."

The man pushes the knife over Hazel's left eye, the blade cutting into his eyebrow letting a thin stream fall into his eye. "Want to test it?"

"Why not?" Hazel stares at the blade just centimeters from his eye. He's terrified, visibly shaking, but he doesn't want to give in.

The man moves to bring the blade down when there's a knock on the door and a soldier peaks his head inside.

"What!" The man in the suit snaps, anger flashing in his eyes.

"The other one speaks." The man grins, motioning behind him.

"Joseph!" Hazel screams as loud as he can, fighting the restraints, "Joseph!"

The man in the suit backhands Hazel making him gasp as his face throbs. He didn't know it was possible but it was hurting even more than before. The only thing helping him fight back the pain is a man screaming out for him.

"James!" A man sobs from a room down the hall. "Please!"

Hazel tries to yell out to his brother but the door slams shut leaving him alone with three soldiers. One of them is still holding the cables connected to the battery, he's grinning.

"First name is James? What's your last name?" He steps closer, sparking the cable ends together.

Hazel is cursing himself in his head as he jerks forward, his cheeks wet. He reaches up and wipes at the tears angrily. "I woke up before he reached me."

Doc nods his head, looking up from what he'd been writing down, "It's progress."

"It's progress." Hazel repeats, sighing heavily. "I should hurry and catch the rest of training."

Doc lets a smile lift the corner of his mouth, "They finished about an hour ago. Go get something to eat. I'm sure you're hungry."

Hazel nods his head, "Yeah." Standing up he walks out of the infirmary, not noticing when Roach starts to walk beside him.

"Ghost said you remembered some things."

"Yeah, not everything though… It's still just of the torture…"

Roach nods, wrapping his arm around Hazel's, "Well how does some lunch sound? I'm starving after that training. Ghost was fucking murdering us. Lucky you weren't there." Roach chuckles and Hazel can't help but chuckle as well.

"Sounds good to me man." Hazel tugs at Roach's arm, "But I got a question for you."

Roach smiles as he nods, "What's up?"

Hazel lifts his free arm and points at a small red mark on Roach's neck, "Where'd you get that from?"

Roach's eyes go wide as he slaps a hand over it, "There's a mark?"

"Yep!" Hazel grins mischievously, "Who did that?"

"C-captain!" Roach takes his arm from Hazel to give the captain a salute, "What a surprise."

MacTavish furrows his brows, "Riiiggghhhttt. I just left my office to get lunch. It's not that much of a surprise to run into me. And why are you holding your neck?"

Hazel gasps and laughs loudly, "Oh, you're kidding!"

Roach's face turns a deep shade of red, "Shut up!"

"No way!" Hazel snickers.

MacTavish growls, "What's so funny?"

"You two are together." Hazel laughs, "You left a mark on his neck."

MacTavish's face burns red, eyes widening, "W-what?"

"It's obvious!" Hazel rolls his eyes, "I can't believe I didn't see it before."

"Don't. Tell. Anyone!" Roach grabs Hazel's shoulders, "Please!"

Hazel shrugs nonchalantly, "At least you only have one guy wanting in your pants. Try having two guys wanting you."

Roach can't help but widen his eyes in surprise, "Who!?"

MacTavish slaps a hand to his face, "Let's not have this conversation right now… The devil is coming."

Both men turn to see Ghost approaching them from the direction of the mess hall, "You skipped training, Hazel."

"Took a lot longer to explain what I remembered to Doc." Hazel averts his eyes from Ghost's stare.

"What did you remember?" MacTavish takes Hazel's attention.

"Just more of the torture…" Hazel shrugs, grabbing Roach's arm and pulling him to the mess hall, "Let's get some lunch!"

Roach grins happily at the change of subject, "Food!"

Ghost chuckles at the face MacTavish is making, watching the two men turn around a corner, "They completely left your ass. Bet they're going to gossip too."

MacTavish shakes his head, "I bet so. Hazel just told Roach he has two guys pining for his attention. You know Roach, he isn't going to let it go until he knows who."

Ghost curses under his breath, "That means the little bug won't get off my back about it once he knows."

MacTavish scoffs, "At least it'll only be that one thing."

Ghost laughs, "Just tie him up?"

MacTavish rolls his eyes at his friend's suggestion, "I'd never hear the end of that. Plus, I doubt you'd try that on Hazel."

"Try what on Hazel?"

Both men turn around to see Archer and Toad approaching them. Archer is frowning while Toad is watching curiously to see how the two men interact.

"Nothing." Ghost turns away, "I got some paperwork to finish. Enjoy your lunch then you need to finish your paperwork as well, Soap."

MacTavish groans, rolling his eyes, "I'll do my paperwork when I feel like it. Perks of being a captain, I can make your ass do it."

"Have fun with General Shepherd." Ghost threatens, leaving the three men.

"Oh, Captain MacTavish, you should probably hurry up to the mess hall. Fight was breaking out." Toad waves his hand towards the mess hall nonchalantly.

"What! Who!" MacTavish yells out, "Should have fucking said something sooner!"

Before Toad can respond MacTavish is already running and bursting through the doors of the mess hall. Scarecrow is on his back, blood dripping down his face while Hazel and Roach stand over him, both ready to fight. In front of them is Worm and Jester, both men sneering at the other two.

"Back off boy, this isn't your fight!" Jester points a finger at Roach.

"It is when you want to hurt my friend!" Roach starts forward but MacTavish yanks him and Hazel behind him.

His face is burning red as he points a finger at both Worm and Jester, "Just what the fuck do you two think you're doing!"

Worm shrugs his shoulders, "Not much. Just having a friendly conversation with the guys."

Jester snorts, "Yeah, just a friendly conversation."

"Bullshit!" Hazel growls from where he's knelt down next to Scarecrow, helping him sit up.

"Yeah don't even try and pull that fucking bullshit!" Roach yells, going to step past MacTavish but is pushed back.

"Enough!" MacTavish growls, pointing at Chemo and Ozone who look like they're both about to jump up from their seats, "Chemo, get Ghost back in here! Ozone, take Scarecrow to the infirmary!"

Ozone rushes and takes Scarecrow from Hazel while Chemo runs out of the mess hall in search of Ghost.

"Sir, they were both ganging up on Scarecrow when we got here!" Hazel puts a hand out gesturing at Worm and Jester.

"I said enough!" MacTavish turns and points a finger at Hazel's chest, "Get against the wall! Roach, you too!"

"Sir!" Roach looks at MacTavish with a look of exasperation "You can't be serious!"

"Roach, come on." Hazel growls, glaring at MacTavish while pulling his friend with him to stand by the wall. "He doesn't fucking care."

"One more word from you!" MacTavish turns and points at Hazel again before turning on Jester and Worm, "And don't think I've forgot about you and your friend! If I hear one more fucking snicker from you!"

Ghost jogs into the mess hall followed by Chemo, "What'd I miss? Do I get to kill anyone?"

"Kill those two idiots by the wall. I got the other two." MacTavish points at Worm and Jester, "My office! Before I decide to rip you a fucking new one in front of the others!"

Ghost scoffs as the two men hesitantly follow their captain. It was obvious despite the faces they were putting on both men were terrified for what the captain had in store for them.

"So what happened here?" Ghost crosses his arms as he stands in front of Hazel and Roach. Both men try to answer at the same time and Ghost raises his hand, "Roach first."

"We got here and Worm and Jester were both beating up on Scarecrow! Obviously, being old friends, Hazel got Jester off of him while I got Worm back! And then they wanted to fight us! I told them to back off, that it was bullshit starting a fight but they wouldn't listen. And then they were about to jump us when MacTavish showed up!" Roach sighs, waving his arms dramatically. "But still! Before he did, Jester was saying some awful things to Hazel."

"That true?" Ghost turns to look at Hazel but the man is averting his eyes.

"He brought up some things he'd read in Hazel's journal." Ghost turns around and looks at Robot approaching, followed by Zach and Peasant.

"We wanted to join and help take those jerks out but Chemo and Ozone made us stay still. Said if we got involved it would just make things worse." Zach gives Hazel an apologetic look.

"It's alright." Hazel gives the man a small nod, "I appreciate the thought though."

"So what was in the journal that had those two idiots acting like even more of idiots." Ghost uncrosses his arms and puts them on his hips.

"That I'm bisexual." Hazel looks at his feet, feeling very vulnerable.

"Scarecrow was defending Hazel before things got physical. Dragon tried stepping in but he got a bloody nose." Robot points his thumb behind him to Dragon nursing his nose, Reaper handing him a new napkin.

Ghost nods his head, "So more people are involved than initially thought." He points a finger at Hazel, "So if I'm understanding this, Jester and Worm were dissing you. Scarecrow stepped in to defend your honor but got his ass handed to him. Then you two boy scouts show up and try and defend his honor and MacTavish comes in like the big bad wolf that he his stopping the fight. Am I understanding that correctly, mate?"

Hazel scoffs, "Way to be a fucking douche. But yeah, want to talk like that then you understand it."

"Who else was involved?" Ghost ignores Hazel's hostile attitude to turn to Robot.

The man shrugs, "We were all arguing but none of us were standing up except Scarecrow, Jester, Worm, and Dragon before he got head butted. The only ones not involved were Toad and Archer who bailed out."

"Probably on Jester's side but too fucking scared to say something out loud." Peasant shakes his head, "I mean, what does it matter who someone likes if it doesn't affect you?"

"People are like that." Roach says with a sad face, "Either way it doesn't matter now. I'm sure once MacTavish is through talking to Jester he's going to think me and Hazel are in the wrong!"

Ghost shakes his head, "No. I'll speak with MacTavish. As for you two, I don't see any point of killing either of you. You protected Scarecrow."

"What about MacTavish?"

Ghost raises his eyebrow at Hazel, "You're really pushing it with this attitude of yours Hazel. Calm your ass down." Hazel opens his mouth to speak and Ghost knows he's about to say something so he pushes the man up against the wall, towering over him, "Now!"

Hazel looks away, only partially deflating, "Fine, sir."

Ghost fights back an irritated groan before walking out of the mess hall.

"Mate," Roach turns to look at Hazel, "I know you're pissed but it looked like you were about to fight MacTavish.. and then Ghost…"

Hazel stares down at his shaking fists, "I know…" He's fighting himself to stay calm but on the inside he's losing it. He can feel the anger wanting to burst out of control. The aching desire to rip everyone and everything into pieces. The rage building in his stomach, it scared him as he started to understand what he had written in the journal. This was that feeling; that high of adrenaline. He wasn't sure if he was more terrified of the rage or that he liked feeling it boiling under his skin.

"Hazel?" Robot puts a hand on Hazel's shoulder but the man jumps from the touch as if it burnt him.

"I need some time alone." Before anyone can stop him Hazel is outside running back to the barracks where he locks himself in his room.

He collapses next to his bed grabbing his head in his hands. Cursing under his breath he reaches under the bed pulling out the old journal. He starts flipping through the pages until he finds the one he's looking for. He's talking about the rage and he feels tears falling down his face, understanding it's the same violent urges coursing through him.

"I don't want to be like that." He whimpers, hands ripping his mask from his face. "I don't want to be a monster."

_Hazel's Journal Entry_

_Things have been rough going but I've been making progress. Archer helped me out too. It was nice, having him help. Toad has been trying but he isn't exactly the best at explaining things. More of a free spirit tree hugger if you ask me but then don't, I don't know how to begin to explain that. I think Archer is the only guy here that can actually understand Toad. I guess that's what makes the two such an amazing pair… Did I mention me and Archer made out? No? Yeah that happened, I wanted to feel something… I need to feel something… The last time I felt something was when Liliana told me practically everyone was dead… I need something to feel good. He didn't agree with the way I was going about it. Maybe I'll listen._

_Hazel_

_o0o_

_An undying rage, a need to commit violence, I thought I knew it before. Now though, I understand what I had written in the old journal. This is darker, more dangerous than I think I can handle. I'm scared I'm going to hurt someone if I don't get it under control…_

_Hazel_

**_A/N: Sorry it's shorter than any of the other chapters but I wanted to get something out to you as soon as possible! Thank you everyone who is following the story, favorited it, or just plain read it! You make me so happy! _**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Some violence and things get super heated! *wink* *wink* Enjoy!**

Ghost hears heavy breathing accompanied by an occasional sniffle or curse through the door he's standing in front of. For the fifth time that night he knocks on the door, calling for Hazel to open up. The only response is to hear more sniffling. Sighing heavily, ready to give up, Ghost turns away from the room.

"I'll be in my room when you're ready to talk." He waits a minute before leaving, running into MacTavish on the next floor down.

"You talk to him yet?"

Ghost shakes his head, sighing for the umptenth time, "No. He won't open his door. I can hear him crying but he's not answering to me."

MacTavish crosses his arms, "He was going too far today."

"He was." Ghost runs a hand over his mask, "It was like he was ready to fight someone."

MacTavish sighs at the look his friend is giving him; it held hopelessness. He hadn't seen something like that in his friend for a long time. "I'm worried about you." He didn't know what else to say. He cared for Hazel but he was more concerned with Ghost who's been by his side as his XO. It made him uneasy to think Hazel was taking this much out of the rest of the team. First being in a coma and now acting strange. MacTavish felt uneasy.

In front of him, Ghost has no idea how much his friend was worried. Instead he's worrying about Hazel. "I just don't understand what's going on."

There's a cough and both men turn to see Scarecrow walking up cautiously, "That's how he started to get once he got back. Michael talked about it with me."

Ghost frowns under his mask, "What do you mean?"

Scarecrow shifted his weight as both his superiors looked at him to answer, "When Michael saved Hazel, he wrote about what Hazel was doing. We wrote to each other a lot, still do actually." He shifts again, his cheeks brightening a shade, "Anyways, Michael would talk about how angry Hazel would get. At one point he even hurt Michael."

Ghost sucks in sharply, "Seriously? He practically worships his brother…"

Scarecrow nods his head, chuckling with a small smile, "You've no idea… It took a long while before Hazel even apologized but Michael knew he didn't mean it. He's not the same cute little kid that Michael knew him as. James got darker; a lot of bar fights over the smallest things. He lived for that kind of thing before he was sent to counseling. Hell it didn't even stop then. Didn't help his counselor…" Scarecrow shakes his head, "That's not for me to say."

"What happened?" Ghost's face is dark, watching Scarecrow fret nervously.

"He was raped… Well the guy tried, he didn't get far before Hazel put him in the hospital. That's when Hazel and Michael fought, he was trying to stop him from killing the guy." Scarecrow shoves his hands in his pockets, talking in a low tone. He couldn't help looking around the hall not wanting to make eye contact with either man as he spoke. It wasn't right for him to speak about what Hazel had gone through but he knew they needed to know.

He heard MacTavish sigh, turning to see out of the corner of his eye the man has leant back against the wall. "I honestly don't know what to do."

Ghost scoffs, "I don't think anyone would know what to do."

MacTavish shakes his head, a sad look on his face as he talks, "Price would. He always knew."

"Well whoever this Price guy is, we need him." Scarecrow pushes his hands through his hair, "I don't think Hazel can go through this alone again."

Ghost nods, "He may not remember but subconsciously he remembers everything. It'll be a lot of stress on him mentally. You can't walk away from something like that easily."

MacTavish and Scarecrow look at Ghost, the man growing darker as he thinks of his own past tortures. "I have faith he'll be okay though."

Ghost smiles at Scarecrow's attempt to make him feel better before he excuses himself back to his own room.

"So what are you going to do?" MacTavish asks after the pair stand in silence for a few minutes.

"I don't have any idea." Ghost unlocks his bedroom door, "I'm going to try and get some sleep."

MacTavish nods, "You know where I am if you need me." Patting his friend on the shoulder he leaves and goes to his own room down on the first floor.

The next morning Hazel doesn't speak to anyone, going through the motions of training on autopilot. Not even Roach can get him to talk but a curse during the pt course and he gets a small cut on his arm. After practice he showers quickly so that he eats alone and is on the gun range before anyone else gets to the mess hall.

Archer tries talking to him but Hazel refuses to answer him, focusing on the targets. He eventually leaves and is replaced by Roach who sits quietly, watching through a scope. After an hour of shooting he cleans and puts away his rifle, tossing his mask in his locker. Roach is still watching as Hazel makes his way to the track, pausing only to let Roach catch up with him.

"Thanks." Roach mumbles quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I'm angry and I don't know how to get rid of it." Hazel sighs, "Time me."

Roach opens his mouth to respond but Hazel is already running the track. Sighing Roach does as his friend wants, sitting in the grass to watch the man run. When he finally stops he's exhausted, close to collapsing but forces himself to run the pit. Again Roach watches over him while timing him, calling out encouragement or playful insults. Nothing gets Hazel to speak again though. He stays silent as he goes to shower and catches dinner with Roach and Archer joining him.

Both men have given up on him speaking so they're sitting in silence when Ghost and then MacTavish join them.

"We need to speak." MacTavish points a finger at Hazel before taking a bite of his food.

Hazel lifts his eyes from his almost empty plate, expression blank, "Sir."

Everyone at the table is quiet as MacTavish frowns, taken aback by the look in Hazel's eyes. The fire burning behind them despite his face; they're telling a different story. "My office in an hour."

Hazel looks back at his food, unfazed, and continues picking at it. Beside him Archer is frowning but doesn't say anything as Ghost reaches across the table to grab Hazel's hand. Hazel looks at the hand for a moment then pulls his hand away, stabbing a piece of food before chewing on it.

"I'm going to the rec, game of cards?" Roach asks, looking at Hazel.

Hazel shrugs his shoulders, following Roach who's now smiling widely as they put their dishes away and go to the rec.

In an hours time Hazel stops in front of MacTavish's office, fist raised to knock when Ghost opens it.

He almost runs into Hazel's fist, "Holy shit mate."

"I was about to knock on the door." Hazel steps back allowing Ghost to step out of the office and he steps inside where MacTavish is already standing up.

"Shut the door Ghost." MacTavish waves a hand at the man, "It's fine."

Reluctantly Ghost shuts the door and the two men hear his footsteps retreating.

"You wanted to speak." Hazel takes a seat as MacTavish takes his.

"Do I need to worry about you?" MacTavish leans forward, pulling out a cigar and offering one to Hazel.

"I don't smoke."

MacTavish nods his head, "You've recovered physically. Things are heating up in Russia and I need to know if I can count on you to complete whatever mission I send you on."

"Aye." Hazel's face is expressionless as he speaks, a dark fire burning in his eyes. He's itching to get back out in the fight. Do something with his pent up anger.

"Then I have a chance for you to prove yourself." MacTavish opens a file and points at a picture of a man, "This is Alexander Mays. He will be joining the task force tomorrow morning. I'm going to have him working with Toad for the morning but then I want the two of you to get to know each other. You will be sent on a mission together with four other members of the TF. From there you will split up and you will be in charge of the two of you."

"You're going to trust me to do this?" Hazel can't help but frown at his superior. He knew he was up for the job but it still made him a little unsure of why the captain was doing this.

MacTavish is watching him intently before answering the question, "You're going through something that not many people have gone through. It won't be easy for you. The last time, you didn't have anything to do but sit around and let things get out of control from what I hear. This time I'm not going to let that happen. You're a member of this task force and if keeping you busy will help you get through everything, and then I'll send you out. As for leading a two-man team, I trust you. You respond well when taking orders but I also know what you did back at the 624 and before that. Ordering one man around will be a lot easier than a large group."

"Thank you sir." Hazel doesn't know what else to say, eyes scanning MacTavish when he looks back down at the file.

"Get yourself familiar with him. I want only the best results out of this." Hazel nods his head slowly.

"When will the full briefing be?" His eyes meet MacTavish's, the fire making the man feel uneasy.

He takes a breath before speaking, not wanting to reveal his uneasiness, "In four days time. That gives you three full days to get synced up with him."

Hazel nods again, "Is that it?"

"You're dismissed." MacTavish waves his hand, "I got a crap ton of paperwork left to do."

Chuckling, Hazel leaves the captain to his paperwork and locks himself in his bedroom ignoring when Archer comes knocking.

o0o

"This is Hazel, the two of you will be working together." Toad holds a hand out beckoning Hazel to join him and the new guy, Alexander.

"Hello." Hazel looks the man over, they're close in height but he's more built than the new guy.

"Hey." The man is looking him over too, sizing him up with a hard look. "You're James Mallet. I heard about you and your brothers. Hell raisers, demon spawns to be exact from the rumors going about ya'll."

Hazel snorts, "They're all dead but Michael and I. Someone found a way to kill a demon it seems."

The man's eyes widen, swallowing, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"How's your shooting?" Hazel changes the subject, not caring for what the man has to say.

"He's okay. About the same as you but he can't make the farther shots like you." Toad claps his hands together, "Why don't you two work together with Snow spotting you?"

Hazel grins under his mask, "Shooting things? I'll agree to that any time."

Snow nods his head, "I'm down."

"Grab a gun then." Hazel goes to his locker getting his rifle out and disassembling it before reassembling it and making his way down the range to his usual spot. A minute later Snow joins him, lying on his stomach while Hazel is on his knee, having grown accustomed to the position from his training with Archer.

"I heard you and the rest of your task force wore masks." Snow comments; looking down his sights.

"We did. I just recently decided to stop." Hazel calls out a target, "Give me the specs. I may pull the trigger but I'm going to let you guide me."

"Wait, what?" Snow looks up at Hazel like he's lost his mind.

Hazel laughs darkly, "We will be sent on a mission together so we might as well start to trust each other now. Guide me to the target." Hazel shifts his position so his gun is pointing off to their right.

Snow has wide eyes as he looks down his scope taking a deep breath, "I've worked with people but never like this."

"Just relax; it's just you, me, and the target. We'll perfect working together before we head out." Hazel glances down at Snow.

Snow doesn't notice as he keeps his eyes forward, calling out the position, distance, and other factors out to Hazel, "You should see it in your sights now."

"I do." Hazel licks his lips, breathing in as he sees the target down his sight.

"Adjust to the left for high winds…" Snow shifts where he's lying.

"How much?"

"Half of an inch and fire."

"Firing." Hazel breathes in, calming himself before pulling the trigger.

"Fuck…"

"Again." Hazel shifts his body to the right.

"Seriously?" Snow looks at Hazel, "This is ridiculous."

"I did it. Made me better once I had my hands on the gun. If you can guide me correctly then I'll be comfortable going out there on the field with you."

"You're weird." Snow whispers under his breath before directing Hazel.

It doesn't escape Hazel though and he sends a glare, his next words growled, "Best not to piss me off."

"I'm sorry…" Snow blushes, nodding his head, "I've just heard so much about you. You're nothing like what they say."

"Shouldn't listen to every backwards rumor you hear then, should you?" Hazel looks down his sights at the target and sighs, "I'm off."

Snow curses, "Fuck man, this is hard! You're kneeling while I'm lying down!"

"Then get up!" Hazel snaps out, Snow flinching as if expecting Hazel to lash out physically. Groaning Hazel fights back from rolling his eyes, "I'm not going to hit you. Now do your job."

"Shift left."

Hazel fights back a snort and shifts, "Okay…"

"Fire."

Hazel breaths in and fires; completely missing the target.

"Fuck!" Snow slaps his forehead, "I meant right…"

"Relax, stop being so tensed." Hazel lowers his rifle, looking at Snow.

"Dude, you're not exactly someone I can just magically relax around… You and your brothers are legends among the Marines! We can only strive to be half as good as you!" Snow sits up, sighing as he puts his face in his hands.

Hazel rolls his eyes, getting fed up of the new guy, "You're alive. They're dead." Snow tries to say something but Hazel is walking away back to the weapons locker. He starts cleaning his weapon before putting it away only glancing as Snow follows him. When he just stands there Hazel points at an empty locker, "Have fun with yourself."

Snow nods with a solemn look on his face, "I didn't mean to bring that up."

"Well you did." Hazel slams his locker closed and leaves Snow alone.

"Wow…" Snow puts his sniper rifle away, wondering what to do next.

"He's always like that." Snow whips around to see a man in a skull balaclava bending over to lift a black balaclava with three red stripes, "At least recently. He was nicer."

"I heard him and his brothers were never nice. If someone pissed them off they weren't afraid to rip the idiot a new one. Heard they'd either get transferred or left the military." Snow watches the man hold the mask in his hands, gentle as he dusted it off. "Is that his old mask?"

"I'm Ghost, I'm your lieutenant. If you want someone to be afraid of it should be me." Ghost approaches Snow and corners him, towering over the smaller man, "Take whatever bullshit rumors and shove them where the sun don't shine. You'll regret it if you don't mate."

Ghost turns on his heels and leaves Snow standing with his mouth agape.

"What the fucking hell…" Snow shakes his head with a sigh.

o0o

"Hazel?"

Hazel sighs angrily, shoving the book his brother had given him under his pillow, "What!"

"Open up?"

"It's fucking three in the morning, what could you possibly want right now?" His face is red as he stands up and yanks his door open to see Snow standing there, nervous.

"I couldn't sleep and I saw the light in your room on, on the way to the rec. Thought maybe we could talk? We got off on the wrong side earlier…"

"You think." Hazel leaves the door open and throws himself back on his bed. He wanted to be left alone but MacTavish's words circled around his head. As much as he hated it, he had to let the kid in and get to know him. Staring up at the ceiling he hears his door shut and Snow move to sit at his desk. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"I grew up in Texas."

"I was there for awhile. It's hot as hell there."

Snow chuckles, "Even during Christmas you can walk outside in shorts and sweat your ass off."

Hazel smiles as he chuckles, "But it was amazing when the weather was just right, though it would change in an instant making it unbearable."

"Yeah, I loved February through April. It rained but it stayed at a decent temperature except on those days it decided it's going to be eighty or ninety degrees Fahrenheit."

"But when it was forty to sixty-five, it was perfect." Hazel turns his head to look at Snow, "So how'd you get your name?"

Snow shrugs, looking down at his arms, "Despite being out in the sun all the time I stayed pale and the guys used to joke that I could camouflage myself in the snow. Blend in, you know?"

Hazel snorts, "That's funny."

"Whatever! What kind of name is Hazel?" Snow laughs, resting an arm on the desk.

Hazel shrugs, "My eyes are hazel sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Snow asks with his curiosity piqued.

"Sometimes they get gold flakes so I was almost called Gold but I thought that was stupid. Plus, Jacob was called Iron so I didn't want to be named after a metal." Hazel frowns.

"Why was he named Iron?" Snow rests his chin in his hand.

Hazel can't help but laugh, a smile replacing his frown, "It's a long stupid fucking story. Maybe another time I'll tell you."

Snow nods, "I'll hold you to that. So what else are you willing to tell me?"

"Favorite color is neon green." Hazel turns to look at Snow, "And I hate purple."

Snow gaps, "How can you hate purple!"

Hazel rolls his eyes, chuckling, "It's an awful color. Don't question it."

"Right… Purple people eater…" Snow grumbles under his breath.

Hazel slaps his face, "Oh god… No! God…"

"HA!" Snow laughs loudly, holding his side, "You're scared of the purple people eaters!"

Hazel can't help but laugh along with him, "I'm not, and it's just fucking awful. So, what about you?"

"I have an older brother who's back at home taking care of the farm." Snow turns away as he speaks, sadness on his face.

"Miss the farm?" Hazel watches the other man intently, noticing the small twitch at the corner of his eye.

"I'm not allowed to go back." Snow stares down at his boots.

"We all have things that haunt us." Hazel sits up setting his feet on the floor. "Don't let them drag you down."

Snow sighs heavily, "How do you do it? With everything that's happened to you?"

"I'm not…" Hazel stands up, stretching before pulling his boots on. "I'm going to run the pt course. There's no way I can get back to sleep."

"Can I join?" Snow stands up, eager.

"Don't blame me if Ghost's regime kills you afterwards." Hazel walks out and Snow comes bounding after him, turning the lights off and shutting the door behind him.

Later after Ghost finishes yelling at them Snow wobbles to sit next to Hazel in the mess hall, exhausted. Roach is laughing at him while Toad is shaking his head across from Hazel. Archer sits down beside Hazel, quiet as he eats in silence. Ghost eventually joins them and he and Roach make jokes at the new FNG. He's mumbling and blaming Hazel but the grin he shoots Hazel shows he's not upset. Hazel only laughs, not really speaking much as the others speak leaving him alone. He can't help but notice how Archer keeps glancing at him and how Ghost is close to Hazel where he sits on the opposite side of Hazel.

"Hazel?"

All commotion stops as Hazel's face drops, expression blank as he turns to look up at Meat, "What?"

"Can we talk? Alone?" Meat gives the man a half smile.

"No." Hazel turns away, grabbing his glass of water.

"Hazel." MacTavish sets down his tray of food, frowning not only at Hazel but at how many people have now joined the table that was once occupied by only two people. "What did we talk about?"

Hazel shrugs, "Kill everyone?"

"Hazel!" MacTavish glares at him.

"I'm joking, shit." Hazel stands up, "Whatever. I'll talk to him."

"Thank you." Meat smiles before walking out of the mess hall with Hazel following him.

When they stop behind the rec room out of sight of others Hazel crosses his arms over his chest, not pleased to be there, "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Your journal." Meat speaks nonchalantly but grunts in pain as Hazel shoves him against the brick wall.

"You got some fucking nerve." Hazel growls, "Some real **fucking** nerve!"

Meat grunts again, shoving Hazel away from him. "Is what Jester said true?"

Scoffing loudly Hazel throws his arms up in the air, "What does it fucking matter if I like guys and girls!"

Meat narrows his eyes, "Because it's wrong!"

Hazel glares back, not intimidated at the man threatening to jump him, "Go fuck yourself Meat!"

Meat sneers, "Your brothers are dead because of your sins, fucking faggot!"

Hazel rolls his eyes, "That's original."

Meat smirks making Hazel suspicious before he finds himself face down in the dirt. Grunting loudly as the air is knocked out of his lungs he struggles against the man holding him down. Approaching, Meat is cracking his knuckles ready to tear into him. Realizing this won't be easy he tries calling for help but a hand covers his mouth before any sound can leave and it comes out muffled.

Meat is laughing now as he gets on his knees and starts wailing down on Hazel, the man holding him down joining. Hazel can't really move but try and shield himself with his arms, his legs pinned down.

"Get off him!" Meat and the other person Hazel finally sees as Jester pause to see Snow running at them and knocking Meat onto his back.

"Left!" Hazel yells out just in time for Snow to block Jester's attack, jumping up to take the man into a bear hug before slamming him down on the ground.

"Left!" Snow yells back, blocking Meat as Jester kicks.

Hazel dodges it and the fight continues, Hazel and Snow calling out left or right to warn the other of an attack. It doesn't take long of their teamwork until Meat is on the ground, bleeding with several broken limbs. Jester is still standing but Hazel slams him hard against the brick wall, a loud crack making him smile. Blood is dripping down the left side of his face, lip busted in two places, gums bleeding. His hands sting from broken skin on his knuckles but the adrenaline pumping through him keeps him perfectly calm save the look in his eyes.

Jester is shaking where Hazel is keeping him pinned, whimpering.

"Thought you could do what you wanted?" Hazel asks, swinging his whole body before his right fist connects with Jester's stomach. The man doubles over, falling to the ground, coughing up blood. "You fucked with the wrong person." Growling, Hazel drops to a knee and starts beating on Jester.

Behind him Snow is trying to get him off but it's not until Jester is still that Hazel moves back, admiring his work.

"Holy shit…" Snow backs away from Hazel.

"Not everything that was said about us were wrong. You never try and fuck with us." Hazel turns to look at Snow, spitting out blood onto the ground, "Good teamwork by the way. Totally kicked their asses."

Snow shakes his head, his eyes wide with fear, "Is he dead?"

Hazel shrugs as he looks back at Jester's crumpled body, "No, I left him alive."

"Should we go tell MacTavish?"

"They'll be fine." Hazel chuckles, "I don't care if you want to tell him though. I have better things to do than waste them on these idiots."

"Alright… Meet up at the range later?" Snow attempts a smile but it doesn't really show. He was scared that Hazel might hurt him and wanted to get away as soon as possible.

"Okay, and hey kid," Hazel pauses from where he's started to walk away, "I won't hurt you. Trust me?"

Snow's mouth gapes open as Hazel leaves him alone, "Shit… This guy is hard to understand…"

o0o

"MacTavish is furious." Snow comments as he gets into position with his rifle.

Hazel shrugs, "Did you tell or those idiots?"

Snow shakes his head, "I helped them to the infirmary but then I left. Doc told MacTavish I assume. Neither one of them have said anything though. That's why MacTavish is furious so it wouldn't surprise me if he comes to question you."

Hazel hums as he positions himself for Snow to guide him to the target, "Start."

Snow drops the subject and they begin training together. He's more relaxed compared to earlier when he had been scared. He took what Hazel said about trusting him to heart. If he wants to be successful he has to trust his partner. That's what makes a sniper group, the trust and teamwork between the two of them. One look or word should put the other in motion and he wants to get to that position here.

"We're getting better." Hazel comments after their latest shot, "That's good."

Snow can't help but smile, "Yeah. It's getting late, get some dinner?"

Hazel shakes his head, "I'm not hungry." He stands up, stretching out his arms and back. "I'm going to go run some laps."

Snow watches Hazel leave before his feet guide him to the mess hall where he sits next to Toad and Archer.

Archer goes quiet when he shows up but Toad gives him a warm smile, "How was practice with Hazel?"

"James? It was good. We're getting better." Snow takes a large bite of food.

"He lets you call him that?" Archer eyes Snow with a look of discontent. "I highly doubt it."

"Archer, do you know if those parts have gotten in yet?" Toad asks; not wanting the situation to turn sour.

"Not yet." Archer looks down at his food, taking a bite.

"I'm having issues with my rifle." Toad explains with a small smile to Snow. "So where is Hazel? Is he not coming to dinner?"

Snow shakes his head, "Wasn't hungry so he was going to go run some laps. You think he might run himself out training so much?"

Archer snorts, "Not a chance. That kid isn't going to stop for nothing."

Toad grins, "Aww, someone is proud aren't they."

"Shut up." Archer rolls his eyes. "I just doubt he'd stop now."

Toad laughs and the two continue talking leaving Snow to sit and listen; learning about the snipers. Outside Hazel is pushing himself to run faster, MacTavish watching him with his arms crossed over his chest. Hazel didn't have to look to see how pissed the man was and it made him want to laugh. It would only get him in trouble though so as he stopped in front of the captain he forced the laughter down getting rid of any expression on his face.

"I talked to Meat and Jester." His tone is steady but Hazel could hear the furiousness hiding behind it.

"What does this have to do with me?" Hazel was going between good moments and bad ones and he wasn't sure which one he was in right now but he knew this couldn't end well. His whole being is craving for conflict even if he knew it was wrong and had no idea how to stop it. Getting into that fight with Meat and Jester only helped diminish a small portion of it. If one wrong word was spoken he doesn't know if he'll be able to stop himself from doing something beyond stupid.

"What did you and Meat speak with about earlier?" MacTavish is watching Hazel carefully, trying to read past the blank expression and sees that fire in Hazel's eyes again. It made him look like a wild beast and it made MacTavish want to shiver and turn away but he swallowed hard, staring the man in the eyes.

"He asked a couple of questions, I gave him some answers. He wasn't pleased and I didn't care so I left. Simple as that." Hazel stares back, unflinching.

"What kind of questions." MacTavish drops his arms to his sides, standing taller.

"About my journal, that he had so graciously read before I lost my memories. It's not nice to take someone else's things without their permission."

"You're going to have to explain better than that. What exactly did he ask you about?"

"You're trying to intimidate me and it's cute and all but I'm not in the mood." Hazel crosses his arms over his chest, "Even if you are my superior."

MacTavish's face grows a dark shade of red, "You got a lot of nerve! Who the hell do you think you are!"

Hazel scoffs as he finally looks away, eyes getting a haunted look, "I don't know who I am anymore. All I know," he turns to MacTavish, "is that I'm tired of this. Him and Jester have a problem with me being bisexual and I'm not about to let them beat up on me because of it. I protected myself."

"You fucking broke bones! That's not protecting yourself, that's wanting to kill the man." MacTavish growls, eyes narrowing.

"But I didn't and I should get a fucking pat on the back for that! You have no idea what I'm going through!" Hazel darts past MacTavish towards the barracks.

He doesn't get far as MacTavish grabs his arm pulling him back, "You think you can just yell at your superior and get away with it? I'm not your brother; I'm your fucking captain!"

"Yeah, well shove it!" Hazel yanks his arm back, "When you defend me in front of the others and say what's happening between you and Roach to everyone, I'll respect you again!"

MacTavish stares after Hazel, shocked but feeling ashamed. He didn't know if he was supposed to be ashamed but he felt it nonetheless. Maybe he needed to talk to Roach about it.

While he thought about it Hazel was making his way down the hall on the fifth floor, knocking on a door. He was practically shaking in anger but he didn't know a simple way of fixing it. This was his ditch attempt and when Ghost opened the door he shoved the man back, shutting and locking the door behind him.

"Hazel?" Ghost watches the other man, nervous, "What's wrong?"

"Don't worry." Hazel pushes Ghost down onto the bed, climbing on top of him as he grabs the man's mask off, "I'll be better if you don't push me away."

Ghost tries to respond but Hazel is kissing him hard, hands roaming over his body. It's only when Hazel pulls back to take a breath that he can finally speak, "What are you doing?"

"Hopefully you're the one that's doing." Hazel bites Ghost's neck, "Please don't push me away…" He wants this to happen, wants to be forward to get what he wants but he's at his most fragile. If Ghost pushes away now he doesn't think he'll be able to pick himself up.

Ghost's breath hitches, feeling Hazel push his hips down against him, "I can't…" He switches their positions, pushing down between Hazel's legs. "I don't think I could ever push you away."

Hazel gasps out with a small moan. This encourages Ghost who rids them both of their clothes slowly starting with their shirts, nails dragging down Hazel's sides. The man arches his back up, his own hands gripping Ghost's shoulders. Next he kisses down Hazel's chest and stomach, stopping just above his belt. Making quick work of the belt he slowly pulls his pants off, nipping at his thighs until he's lying in just his boxers. Ghost grins, making quick work of his own pants and pushes his hips down between Hazel's legs.

"Fuck…" Hazel moans, lifting his hips up.

"I intend to." Ghost whispers against Hazel's neck, his voice full of desire.

A hand slips between their bodies, palm rubbing against Hazel's growing bulge. Hazel moans again, biting his lip to keep quiet. Ghost grins, feeling a wet spot in the boxers, rubbing his own hard on against Hazel's thigh. He wanted to take things slow; get Hazel worked up before giving him what he wanted. Take as much pleasure as he can and burn it into his memory because at any given moment one or both of them could be killed.

Beneath him Hazel wasn't worrying about that, he was letting his mind go, completely in the moment. Body trembling as Ghost continues to tease him, tongue lashing out while teeth nipped at his stomach and nipples. He thought he was going to finish by the time Ghost finally reached inside his boxers, stroking his length a few more times before stripping him completely naked. A moan starts to escape his lips but Ghost captures his mouth, their tongues dancing. The kiss distracts him while several fingers work at stretching him out; more moans coming out muffled.

Above him Ghost is ridding himself of his own boxers, slowly replacing his fingers with something bigger and harder. He's taking in everything as Hazel grips the bed sheets making him groan. Sweat is beading on his brow, heart pounding in his chest watching Hazel lift his legs up giving him more room to push in further.

"Fuck!" Hazel throws his head back, gasping out with his legs wrapping tightly around Ghost's waist.

Ghost stops his movements instantly. His eyes are wide, the heat and desire starting to be replaced with panic and worry, "Does it hurt?"

"Keep going… Don't stop…" Hazel begs, eyes looking up with a desperate need. His eyes are blown with desire, body trembling in pleasure. "It feels amazing…"

Ghost can't help but moan as he starts to move again, hands gripping Hazel's shoulders. His mind is spinning at the sensation of the man under him, gasping out, shivering when he hits the right spot. It all nearly drives him insane until they're both shaking, out of breath, and covered in sweat.

Hazel curls up against him, arm draping over Ghost's stomach. Ghost has one arm under Hazel's head while the other is holding Hazel's arm. The blanket is tangled around their ankles, both too hot and too tired to pull it up.

"What brought this on?" Ghost mumbles into Hazel's hair.

"I was pent up, needed something to relax me and my first thought was to come up here." Hazel turns over so his back is now to Ghost.

"Mate, don't turn away… I'm worried about you so I wanted to ask…" Ghost turns so his chest is pushed up against Hazel's back, holding him.

"I don't want to talk about it. Can we just lay here?"

Ghost feels his chest tighten, hearing the pain in Hazel's voice, and he shuts his eyes tightly nodding. A sigh reaches his ears and within moments steady breathing telling him that Hazel has fallen asleep.

o0o

"I never want to do the pit again!" Roach groans, wiping off paint from his face.

"You're just smearing it. You know that right?" Snow grins.

Roach rolls his eyes, "I don't care. I'm fucking done! It's time for a shower."

"Not yet it isn't." Ghost calls from where he's standing over the pit, watching as Hazel makes his run. "No one leaves until I say so."

"Devil…" Roach mumbles under his breath where he's standing at the back of the line with Snow. "We've been going at this all morning."

"MacTavish calls him the devil for a reason." Scarecrow grins, several people ahead in line. "I'd be careful that he doesn't hear you call him that though."

"Whatever." Roach pouts, "He's in a happy mood, a good one! This isn't how you act in a good mood!"

"Yeah what has him so happy?" Snow questions while frowning as Hazel limps his way over to them, "What happened to you?"

"Tripped…" Hazel adjusts his belt, "When are we done doing this? I'm fucking tired…"

Roach throws his hands up with a loud noise, "SEE! This is fucking bullshit if even Hazel is tired!"

Snow laughs while Hazel is rolling his eyes, "Dude, James ran like five miles earlier this morning. He's allowed to be tired now."

"And you're not?" Roach counters. "I don't believe that for a second, mate. You're sweating your ass off."

He raises his hands up defensively, "Oh, I'm tired all right but I'm not complaining about it." Snow grins, "But maybe James knows what has Ghost in such a good mood, eh?"

Hazel shrugs his shoulders, "Not like I'll tell."

"You have to!" Roach grabs Hazel by the shoulders, "By all that is holy, you have to say it!"

Hazel moves Roach's hands, "No I think I'll keep it to myself for right now." He smiles mischievously, winking at Ghost when he looks their way.

"What?" Roach turns to look at Ghost but the man is already turned away yelling at Toad to hurry up. "What was that about?"

"Nothing..." Hazel grins, "Don't worry about it."

Roach pouts, "You know we were supposed to have a conversation awhile back but we never did. If you don't want to explain about Ghost being happy you at least have to tell me what you meant back then." His eyes are narrowing as he gives Hazel a hard stare.

Hazel chuckles, shrugging his eyes with an eye roll, "I've got no clue what you're talking about."

Roach gets up close to Hazel so when he whispers no one else hears, "Who the two guys are that like you." He steps back, grinning from ear to ear, "Now tell me!"

"That'll give it away." Hazel winks, licking his bottom lip, "Don't want to spoil anything."

Snow is looking between the two men completely confused while Roach gasps loudly, "NO WAY!"

"What am I missing?" Snow gives Hazel a sad puppy dog face.

"Don't look at me like that." Hazel turns away, crossing his arms over his chest, "I don't fall for that crap." He laughs before turning and patting Snow's head. "You'll learn eventually."

Snow mumbles to himself, irritated they're keeping him in the dark and looks to Toad for answers when he comes over, gasping for breath. He's covered head-to-toe with bright yellow paint, bending over when he stops behind Hazel, groaning out in pain. The others look at him but he shakes his head, "Don't ask."

Hazel snorts, "I wasn't going to ask anything."

"You look like a banana." Snow comments, "Wonder if the paint tastes like banana…"

"You're an idiot." Hazel groans, slapping a hand over his eyes, "And we're from the same country…"

Snow looks at him, hurt, "What!"

Even Roach rolls his eyes, "That was awful, mate… Bloody hell…" Everyone turns to see Archer making his way, barely any paint on him. "That's wicked."

Hazel nods, "Maybe you should learn from your partner, Toad."

Toad pushes Hazel playfully, "Shove it, mate. This guy is a fucking monster, there's no getting to be like him."

Archer nods his chin at Hazel, "Can we talk later?"

"What's wrong with now?" Hazel feels his heart starting to beat faster thinking that maybe Archer had gone looking for him the night before.

"I'd rather not." Archer watches Hazel carefully, reading him.

Hazel shrugs as nonchalantly as he can, "Alright." He doesn't know if it's convincing, his shoulders tense, and lips tight when he forces a small smile.

"You're still avoiding my question." Roach grumbles putting his hands on his hips and glaring at Hazel sternly.

Hazel quickly shoots him a look, "Later."

Roach narrows his eyes, trying to sound threatening, "Later."

After Ghost bores from yelling at them all Roach makes Hazel keep good to his word, cornering him away from the others after showering, "Talk." Hazel frowns at Roach's serious look but it quickly fades and he's jumping around excitedly, "Come on! I've been dying to know and John won't say anything!"

"John?" Hazel raises an eyebrow.

"Soap! MacTavish! Oh god…" Roach puts his hands over his face in embarrassment, "Don't tell anyone I called him that."

Hazel laughs, "As long as you don't repeat what I'm going to tell you."

Roach nods his head vigorously, "Yes! Please, tell meeeeeee!"

Hazel puts his hands on Roach's shoulders, stilling the man, and gives him as serious a look as he can muster, "This is top secret Gary. Do you understand?"

"Yes!" Roach salutes Hazel then laughs at the action putting his hand back at his side, "I won't tell anyone, swear."

Hazel leans in close to Roach's ear and whispers, "Ghost and Archer." When he pulls back Roach is in full shock, mouth wide open, stuttering to speak. Laughing with a huge grin Hazel leans in again, "I spent the night with Ghost doing some extra training."

"OH GOD!" Roach screams, slapping his hands over his ears while shaking his head back and forth, "Did not need that much information!" His face is burning a deep shade of red when he looks up, puppy eyes in full mode, "Really?"

"Yep." Hazel crosses his arms over his chest with a smug grin, "I'm good."

"Bloody hell…" Roach keeps a hand over his mouth while the other rests on his hips, adjusting his weight from foot to foot, "I didn't see that coming." He looks up at Hazel, "Do they know about the other one?"

Hazel shakes his head, "Archer doesn't as far as I know. Ghost does though, and can get jealous." He smiles as Roach whistles, shaking his own head.

"You should go see what Archer wants, or maybe not?"

"I will. He's still my mentor here." Hazel pats Roach's shoulder, "Go, I'll meet you at the mess hall afterwards."

Roach nods, heading to the mess hall leaving Hazel to look for Archer. With directions from Toad he finds him at the shooting range, cleaning his rifle. He doesn't notice Hazel as he grabs his own rifle but finally sees him when he sets up beside him, cleaning his. At first Archer doesn't look up, staring intently at his hands as they move rhythmically, Hazel humming quietly beside him. He had spoken with MacTavish the night before about the mission Hazel would be going on with Snow. The burning desire to protect the smaller man had sparked; remembering him on the ground dying covering in blood.

Looking up away from his rifle, hands setting down parts, he moved and wrapped his arms tightly around Hazel. He's completely shocked by the action and after some wiggling around he's hugging Archer back. Nuzzling his face in the crook of his neck, sighing. All the tension from before dissipating with Archer's pair of strong arms wrapped around him tightly.

"You never cease to make me stop worrying about you." Archer whispers against Hazel's ear. "Just promise me you'll come back safe."

Hazel tightens his arms around Archer, eyes closing tightly, "I promise…" All thoughts of Ghost are lost in the moment of just the two of them. Alone in the weapons locker, holding each other close with emotions running high.

Archer wasn't sure what was happening with Hazel but he knew he felt horrible about the fight with Jester and then Meat. He shouldn't have to go through something like this, especially alone; no one should. Lifting his head, Archer grabs Hazel's face between his hands, and slowly he brings their lips together.

Hazel is hesitant when he kisses back, thinking in the back of his mind about Ghost, "Archer…"

"Ian." Archer pulls back, smiling down at Hazel with a blush, "It's Ian Richards."

Hazel blushes back, "Ian… What are we doing?"

"I'm not sure." Archer kisses him again, taking Hazel's breath away, "But I know I don't want to leave you."

Hazel feels his chest tighten, scared knowing that he'll have to stop this. Have to tell Archer about Ghost. Right now Archer isn't giving him that chance, pinning him back against the table where their rifles lay. Archer's hands roaming up under his shirt, biting and nibbling at his neck and shoulder. Hazel tries to fight back but his pushes are light, moans leaving his mouth as Archer bites his shoulder. He grips his hands in Archer's shirt, again trying to stop the man but a hand making its way in his pants, pushing under his boxers leaves him gasping. It strokes him, sending shivers over his body while Archer's free hand pulls Hazel's pants down to his knees.

"What are you doing?" Hazel finally gasps out, shaking against Archer.

"What I should have done long ago." Archer breathes against Hazel's ear, opening his own pants and taking both of their lengths in his hand, stroking slowly.

"We-…" Hazel starts but Archer stops him, taking his mouth with his again.

"Don't worry, everyone is eating." Archer reaches a hand behind Hazel, finger probing gently.

Hazel shakes his head but he's moaning, nails digging into Archer's shoulders, "Ian, we can't…"

"Why not?" Archer licks Hazel's bottom lip, "What's stopping us?"

Hazel arches into Archer, moaning at the three fingers stretching him. He wants to stop what they're doing but it feels too good, he can't get the words out of his mouth. It comes out incoherent, Archer pressing further leaving Hazel's legs wobbling beneath him.

"Turn around." His voice is husky as he tells Hazel to turn, pulling his hands away making a groan leave the other man.

Hazel knows this is his chance, his mind fighting his body telling it to pull his pants up but instead it turns around. A pair of strong hands push him forward, hands gripping the cloth under the rifles. Archer brings his body against Hazel's, pushing inside of him.

"Ian…" Hazel moans, hiding his face in his hands at the sensation, "We can't…" Archer's lips press against his neck, whispering, "Why not? What's stopping us?"

Hazel shakes his head, moaning as Archer rocks against him, whimpering, "Fuck…"

"That's what I'm doing." Archer growls hungrily, speeding up.

Hazel bites his hand, muffling his loud moans, Archer biting his back and shoulders leaving dark red marks everywhere.

"What did we do?" Hazel groans when they are both spent, leaning heavy against the table with Archer's arms on either side of him. He watches Archer's hands tighten their grip on the table, sighing.

"Do you really need to ask that?" Archer chuckles while kissing the back of his neck.

"Yeah…" Hazel grabs at his waist band, pulling his pants up but Archer grabs his hands firmly in his.

"Let me clean you up."

"I want to shower…" Hazel yanks his pants up, "Is that what you wanted to talk about?" His head was spinning, he didn't know that was going to happen and knew it shouldn't have gone as far as it did. All he could think was how did things get the way they were now. And how he was going to even try and fix things, make it all okay again.

"Stay a little longer with me…" Archer begs with his eyes, closing his own pants, "Even if it's until you've finished cleaning your rifle… I never get any time with you."

Hazel sighs, nodding, "Okay."

Archer turns to his rifle, hands shaking as he lifts the parts up, "I just couldn't let you go tomorrow without you knowing just how I feel about you…"

"An 'I love you' would have seemed more appropriate." Hazel cleans the barrel, "Or talking."

"I know…" Archer sets the pieces down, closing his eyes as he shakes his head, "But I never get a chance to talk to you… You're always with Roach or Ghost or Snow…"

Hazel looks over at Archer, grabbing the table until his knuckles turn white before whispering, "I'm in a bad position and it just got worse…"

Archer looks up at him, unable to understand, but Hazel is already looking back at his rifle, "What?"

He shakes his head, "Nothing… I'm going to go shower now." He lifts his rifle up, checking it before turning his back to Archer. "I'll see you at dinner Ian."

Hazel puts his rifle away and almost runs to the barracks where he quickly showers, praying no one sees all the marks on his back from Archer or his chest from Ghost. Outside he nearly runs into MacTavish who has Scarecrow pulled aside, whispering about something. Both men immediately stop talking at the sight of Hazel, Scarecrow smiling and giving him a wave. MacTavish only nods his head in acknowledgement.

"Hey, is Roach still in the mess hall?" Hazel nods his head to both men, pausing in his rush to the mess hall.

"Yeah, he's complaining that you're taking a long time. Ghost isn't happy about it either." MacTavish narrows his eyes at Hazel, "You have a red mark above your collar."

Hazel's eyes go wide, cursing loudly as he fumbles to fix his shirt to hide it, "Fuck, man."

"Archer?" Hazel looks up to see Scarecrow with his arms crossed over his chest, a knowing look in his eyes, "Seriously?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen." Hazel sounds like he's about to break down, eyes watering, "I don't know what to do…"

MacTavish sighs, shaking his head, "I knew this would end badly… Go to my office, now. I'll get Roach and you two can talk. I'll stall Ghost from going to the office; have him run some courses with the guys to see who all will be going on the mission tomorrow. Go."

Hazel nods his head, "This is fucking awful…"

Scarecrow drapes an arm over Hazel's shoulders while MacTavish heads to the mess hall, "Come on, I'll walk you."

Hazel lets Scarecrow guide him to MacTavish and Ghost's office, "What am I doing?"

"Spiraling down a path that isn't good for you and you're going to spin out of control."

Hazel narrows his eyes, glaring up at Scarecrow, "You're supposed to help me feel better…"

"That was Michael's job." Scarecrow squeezes Hazel's shoulder, "It's going to be okay though. Just keep that in mind."

"But how, when?" Hazel groans, putting his face in his hands, "This is awful…"

"It's what happens when you got two really good people wanting to give everything they got to you. You have to pick one."

"How?" Hazel stops and looks up at Scarecrow, at a loss for what to do, "I don't know how…"

"You'll figure it out." Scarecrow pushes Hazel into MacTavish's office. "I'm going to call Michael later, want me to tell him anything?"

Hazel sighs heavily, "No… He can't do anything to help…"

"He was your rock; you should give him a call. He worries about you." Scarecrow ruffles Hazel's hair before leaving him alone.

o0o

"So you're telling me Archer asked you over there so he could have sex with you?" Roach is sitting in MacTavish's seat, hands fidgeting on top of the desk.

Hazel nods, "Yeah… I wanted to stop it but one thing led to another and we were, you know, doing it… Well I was bent forward over a table…" He looks away as Roach's face blazes red, clasping a hand over his open mouth.

"What are you going to do?"

Hazel shakes his head, putting his hands in his hair, "I don't know… I like Ghost, I do… But then Ian went and did that… God… I don't know what to do… I'm fucking covered in bite marks from both of them."

Roach nods his head slowly, "I don't see this ending pretty mate."

"Nope…" Hazel groans, leaning back in his chair, "I can't think straight. I just keep making bad decision after bad decision… What am I doing?"

"You're trying to feel something that isn't raging violence." Roach moves around the desk and puts a hand on Hazel's shoulder, "You've been doing a hell of a job keeping your anger under control and I know it's been hard… I noticed the cuts on your knuckles when we showered. Can't exactly wear gloves in there and not look suspicious though now people think it's from your fight with Meat and Jester."

Hazel looks down at his hands, he hadn't realized he had forgotten the gloves in his shower locker, "I didn't know what else to do… Ghost was trying to help so much but nothing was working. I thought maybe if I swing at something it'll help but it just made the pain worse…" He rubs his hands down his face, "I'm scared…"

Roach nods, "Things will get better… Who knows, maybe going on a mission will help?"

"I should go practice with Snow, get ready for tomorrow." Hazel stands up, sighing.

"You should probably wear your mask." Roach stands up with him, "That mark is going to keep peeking out."

Hazel raises his arms, unsure of where his mask was, "I don't know what happened to it… It was in my weapons locker but I don't know where it is now. I haven't seen it in there."

Roach nods, "Alright. Well just head straight there then. I'll find your mask for you and send Snow your way."

"Thanks." Hazel gives Roach a smile and the man hugs him.

"Any time mate."

**A/N: Poor Hazel has no idea what he's doing. He wants one thing but then he wants another and he's just spinning around and around. Also, help me come up with the funny story of Jacob getting the callsign of Iron? I'm bad at funny stories... ;p**

**P.S. I know there is no journal this chapter and that's because Hazel has stopped writing in it.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I am so sorry! I can not stress that enough! It has been one crazy week after another then I had finals and I was sure I was going to fail one class… I didn't! I passed everything and I'm safe until the fall where I'll be demolished again. Haha? Anyways! So sorry it took so long to upload this chapter! It took awhile to figure out how I wanted this one to go. Even had a decent chunk written and deleted it all to start fresh! I hope you, the readers, still enjoy this story as much as I! P.S. there's slash. Beware. **

Hazel made his way through the growing crowd, his hands stuffed firmly in his pockets. Further back, Snow is looking through the market, speaking with the locals as he buys different ingredients. Both of them are in civilian clothes, only carrying a pistol and knife concealed by their clothes. Neither wanted to be left without a weapon and it wasn't practical to carry their large sniper rifles when going out.

Currently the others for the mission are waiting for their return at a no-name hotel, six men cramped into the one bedroom. Each night they would play cards to pick who would get the bed. Last night it had been chosen by arm wrestling. It wasn't completely fair with Ghost who had continually distracted him when he was trying to concentrate. It didn't have to be a look, but a flicker of his wrist, a sign, his hands speaking in place of his mouth about the things he wanted to do when alone with him. Before he had a chance to recover he lost his matches, having to hide his growing boner when he moved from the table.

Later that night they would slip away; Ghost going for a smoke and Hazel offering company. No one thinking it wise to move alone it wasn't suspicious to the others, everyone thought they were just friends. On the roof, hidden from sight under cover, rain pouring down around them they became more than friends. Their bodies hot and sweaty despite the biting chill of the night, air clouding together between their faces. Hazel can't help but chuckle, enjoying the moment; the feeling. Ghost thrusting at a steady rhythm; neither ready to stop, wanting the moment to last forever. When they could no longer go on, their clothes came on to fight the growing chill. The heat they had created dissipating into the night.

A smile crosses his face as he moves from stall to stall, just thinking about the night before. He doesn't let it stop his eyes from scanning, or the pain that drops in his gut. After several cigarettes Ghost confessed to him. It wasn't a confession he had ever wanted to hear. Ghost knew about him and Archer sleeping together, said nothing else would continue until he made a decision.

It put the night into a new perspective, the soft murmurs Ghost whispered in his ears. The soft caring touches almost loving with kisses trailing across his skin. Hazel had been horrified, falling back against the wall, tears streaming down his face. He knew he had to make a decision; the hardest part was what he really wanted to do. No matter how he looked at it he couldn't think of an answer. He was stuck in a hard place, either decision ready to destroy his friendship with the other. Not long after Ghost left him alone, not speaking a word to him.

Moving towards the middle of the market he sees Snow buying the last of what he needed. Now the slow trek back to the hotel. They slipped quietly through the crowd, the streets bustling with loud music followed by loud talking from excited children or chastising parents. Making their way through both men began walking further apart leaving a full block between them. He wanted to take no chances of Snow asking him questions. Plenty had been thrown his way when Ghost had returned an hour before he came back, drenched to the bones with mud splashed up to his knees.

Now would be the perfect chance for Snow to try and corner him; none of the others around to listen. He had a funny feeling he would wait until they split up. The thought was almost sickening, being trapped alone with the other man. He wasn't ready to talk to someone else except Roach, was he?

Entering the hotel and slipping into the room he finds a seat on the floor next to his rifle. He's looked over it too many times to count, trying to calm the pain in his chest. It didn't do much though it helped block out the others talking and chattering as the next meal was prepared. Eventually Snow joins him, looking over his own rifle, a file set between them.

"You're splitting off at midnight." Hazel looks up to see Ghost, face hidden behind his sunglasses and mask.

"Yes sir." Hazel looks back down at his rifle, fingers moving over the grooves, the scratches from previous missions he can't remember. Looking up again he turns to Snow, "Are you ready?"

Snow nods, grinning, "I was born ready."

"To kill?" Brow risen, Hazel smirks watching Snow's grin fade into a grim frown.

"Buzz kill." Snow complains.

Hazel chuckles as he stands up to stretch out his limbs, "That's what I'm here for." Hazel sticks his tongue out playfully and leans against the wall with the file in hand. "Make sure you remember all of this."

Snow takes the file, standing in front of Hazel nodding his head vigorously, "Yes sir."

Hazel smiles to himself at Snow's enthusiasm to prove himself to him. His only concern was if it would cause an issue while on the mission. He himself had tried to prove himself to Archer, moving off to follow one half of the team. Instead of coming out victorious he ended up injured and without his memories.

While he got lost in his thoughts the rest of the current team members talked about the latest patrol through town. Scarecrow and Ozone had come back with information regarding their target. All the pieces were moving into place. The only thing left to do was split up from the main group and move accordingly.

Almost two weeks of waiting and they were making their move. Everyone was itching to get in action, tired of being coped up in the small room. Hazel couldn't blame them but it also could lead to mistakes out in the field.

Saying a silent prayer over his food he eats quietly, sitting on the floor next to his rifle listening to the others talk. Snow follows his lead, trying to learn as much as he can about the older man. Practicing with him had been hard on the younger man but he was ready to show what he'd learned through the lessons. It made Hazel feel pleased, having the man following his example. It made him think about Joseph, always striving to be like his older brothers.

Gabriel and Adam strove to be as successful as their older brother Michael. He'd paved the hard road excelling at all he was involved in. When Jacob and Hazel were born, they took a different road. Carving a new path apart from the others; raising the bar even higher for their younger brother. Joseph took it as a challenge, his ambition admirable, commendable. His natural clumsiness made him the butt of everyone's' jokes but he still strived to do his best.

"You're smiling, that's rare considering your mood." Hazel turns to see Snow with a goofy smile on his face. "It's a relief; I was getting worried about you."

"You just remind me of my little brother Joseph. He was a hell of a kid, and a great soldier." Hazel chuckles biting into a piece of bread while balancing his plate on a knee.

Snow smiles bigger, "That's one hell of a compliment. To be compared to a Mallet and it means well."

"Don't let it go to your head too much." Hazel pats Snow's shoulder, moving his plate to the floor, expression growing hard. "Out in the field you'll need to do exactly as I say. You can not question my decisions; it could end up with one of us dead. Do you understand?"  
Snow nods, his smile disappearing into a tight line, "Yes sir."

Hazel squeezes Snow's shoulder to help ease the man's mind, "Always remember I'm here with you and I'm going to do what I can to keep you alive." Standing up, he leaves Snow to think on what he's said.

Moving through the small crowd of soldiers he pats Scarecrow's shoulder. The older man looks up and when Hazel nods to the door he excuses himself from the conversation. Walking out of the room Hazel can feel Ghost's eyes on his back, watching him. Just before Scarecrow closes the door Hazel looks back.

Their eyes meet, pain gripping his chest. He wants to choke at the pain in those blue eyes. How much he wants to comfort him, tell him he'll never leave his side. He can't gather the courage or strength. His voice taken from him as the door closes and now Scarecrow is standing in place of Ghost.

Sighing, Hazel motions for his friend to follow. Without a word the two head to the stairs up the side of the building. Scarecrow stays close to the door, a hand on his hip close to his pistol. Hazel knows he's not happy being pulled out but he's there to support his friend. Using that as courage he turns, leaning back against the railing facing Scarecrow's gaze.

"Ghost called it off until I choose."

Scarecrow nods, his face blank, lips drawn in a tight line, "Do you know who you plan to choose?"

"Why do I have to choose? I care about them both." Hazel puts a hand over his face, scratching his growing beard. "I know I have to choose though… But is it bad if I feel like I love them both?"

Scarecrow smiles a small sad smile, "It's not bad that you care for them both. But you have to understand that no matter how this ends someone will end up hurt. Even if you pick neither one you will be the one hurting."

Hazel nods, chin hitting his chest, "Yeah… But I'm scared to lose one because I chose the other."

"If they truly care for you, you won't lose either of them. I didn't lose Allen when I turned him down. Instead we were still the most inseparable pair of the task force. That was before I met your brother and he swept me off my feet. Allen was still there for me at my wedding, my best man." Scarecrow smiles, patting Hazel's shoulder, "Nothing got between the two of us. Even if I committed my entire life to your brother I still told Allen everything, always talking to him."

Hazel looks up at Scarecrow, the edge of his mouth lifting, "Thank you…"

Scarecrow grins, "Things will feel lighter once you make a decision. But you always will be taking a risk because you still have to tell Archer about Ghost."

"Yeah, but telling them will probably feel like the worst thing ever." Hazel shoves his hands in his pockets letting Scarecrow lead them back inside the building.

"It'll be hard but I know you can do it. You're so much like your brother that neither of you realize it." Scarecrow laughs, opening their hotel room.

"What do I have in common with that uptight dick wad?" Hazel asks, frowning with a look of offense.

"Neither of you know what you want but you still charge forward not letting anyone nor anything stop you. I remember your brother first introducing me to your father. Needless to say I was fucking scared shitless while your brother puffed out his chest holding his ground." Scarecrow takes his seat back at the table while the others watch the two of them.

"Which brother is that?" Hummingbird asks with an inquisitive look on his face.

"Michael, he's the oldest one. He'd come to visit James when he was recovering." Scarecrow can't help the smile spreading across his face.

Hazel in turn makes a look of disgust, "Oh god, he stayed in your room didn't he…"

Scarecrow laughs, "Oh he did more than just stay in here."

"Eeewwwww, I don't need to know what you and my brother did!" Hazel hides his face in his hands, groaning in despair.

"I was wondering what that noise was…" Hummingbird shakes his head, sighing, "So you and the younger General were getting it on next door to me… You could have tried to be quieter…"

"Fuck!" Hazel slaps his hands over his ears, "I don't need to hear this!"

Snow laughs at how red Hazel's face is, "Embarrassed yet?"

"Man, you try being one of six sons! It can be pretty awful with how embarrassed I have to be in their place! Especially Gabe, he didn't know what humility meant. Want to know which one was fuller of themselves, Gabriel, man never had any kind of selfless bone in him."

"That's true." Scarecrow laughs, "Man held himself on a pedestal. Not like Adam didn't either. He at least knew how to control himself around others. Michael and he were probably the only ones able to rein Michael in."

"I could rein Gabe in, just not as kindly as the others." Hazel laughs darkly, "I had that man by his balls. Before he knew what was happening I had already knocked him down several pegs when he starting some bullshit or another. Talk about not being able to control him was Joseph. Watching those two go back and forth was the best amusement ever."

"James, you remember," Scarecrow starts, laughing with a hand on his side, "Joseph was trying to get through some paper work and Gabe put it all through the shredder?"

"I never saw Joseph as pissed as he was that day. Michael had to step in that one or someone was going to end up seriously hurt." Hazel sits on the edge of the bed, Snow moving from the floor to beside him, watching with a smile as the men talk.

"Your dad almost stepped in too if I remember correctly." Scarecrow shakes his head with a snort, "Michael got a hard hit to the jaw from Gabe when he tried separating them."

"Yeah, Gabe's hand got pretty banged up and was useless for a few days after that. Michael about beat the shit out of Gabe, Jacob actually recorded it all."

"Did he really?" Scarecrow laughs, "You have to show me that video, it was the best being the glare Michael gave Gabe. I wasn't any part of it but even I got scared by that glare."

"The famous Michael death glare; it's stopped me and Jacob plenty of times when we were up to no good." Hazel shrugs untroubled, "Granted we never did try pranking Michael much. We were more afraid of what you'd do if we pulled something." Hazel turns his head and gives Scarecrow a look. "Just a look from you and he jumped down our throats like we'd disrespected the president."

"What can I say; I'm just so fucking loveable." Scarecrow laughs giving Hazel a pitying look.

"Yeah well, it was worse when dad stepped in. Michael may have been able to rein Gabe and Adam in but Jacob and I were a different story. I remember back in training, dad visited to see how we were doing."

"You dad did that, seriously?" Ozone laughs loudly, "Were you two pathetic back then or something?"

"No it was after we'd gotten into a fight with some other guys. We beat the shit out of them."

"Why?" Snow looks up at Hazel, "You could have gotten kicked out."

"People found out I was gay and started a fight. I decided to take things into my own hands, with Jacob's help. Laid up a couple of people and they were about to fucking hang us, though not literally. Dad showed up, he had a couple other generals with him. They were discussing something big and they ended p presiding over the incident. The oldest one there said boys fight, especially if you keep us cooped up for such a long extended amount of time. With some talking, though mostly just getting yelled at, me and the other guy shook hands and we moved past." Hazel leans back putting his weight on his hands, legs stretching out, crossing. "It was one of the scariest moments of my life. The look dad gave me and Jacob. Both of us were scared he was going to drag us out into the woods and shoot us dead. We'd never done something that big but it led to some good things."

"Like what? Though I think I might regret that question..." Hummingbird leans forward in his chair, grinning.

"Well I lost my virginity to this guy in training. He was pretty huge too so it took a lot of foreplay before it could fit." Hazel laughs loudly at the face everyone makes though he catches how Ghost is staring out the window. His expression almost drops but he fights back how he now feels. Instead he sticks his tongue out at Hummingbird, wagging his brows, "You should have heard. I wasn't exactly quiet about what we has doing as he did it."

Hummingbird chokes, covering his mouth as his face heated up, "Oh god… Yeah I knew I'd regret asking."

Hazel laughs, "Don't look so green, it's alright. You'll see, trust me."

"Wait!" Ozone chops his hand through the hair, giving Hazel a look. "Did you seriously just fucking do that?"

Hazel leans forward grasping his side as he laughs, "I didn't think anyone would notice! Oh God!"

Snow looks between them for a few moments before his eyes narrow, "You just quoted Disney didn't you."

Hazel grins, "Look through My Eyes. Granted it's a small part but that was part of the song from Brother Bear. At least I'm not quoting Kiss the Girl."

Scarecrow shakes his head, "I'm judging you so fucking hard right now."

"Yeah, but I have a question for you. Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?" Hummingbird grins.

"Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest. Come taste the sun sweet berries of the Earth."

"Now I'm here blinking in the starlight."

"Now I'm here suddenly I see standing here it's all so clear. I'm where I'm meant to be."

"Skipping forward… All those days chasing down a daydream… All those years living in a blur… All that time never truly seeing things, the way they were."

"Now she's here shining in the starlight. Now she's here suddenly I know if she's here it's crystal clear. I'm where I'm meant to go." Hazel starts laughing, smirking at Hummingbird. "I do believe we just did a duet of sorts."

"To a great soundtrack too..." Hummingbird grins, waving away Scarecrows disapproving look.

"He's jealous, ignore him." Hazel grins. "Tangled was a good movie."

"It really was…" Snow puts his elbow on his knee, resting his chin in his hand with brows furrowed.

"I don't even know what to say to you three." Ozone laughs, crossing his arms while he sits back in his chair.

By the window Ghost abruptly sits up, looking everyone over, "Pack up, we're heading out soon. Snow, Hazel, get moving now."

**A/N: Songs from the chapter were inspired by songs I was listening to as I wrote… Don't judge me if I listen to a Walt Disney channel on Pandora! Plus, Brother Bear, Tangled, and The Little Mermaid are good fucking movies! ;D P.S****. I know how it ends now, I didn't before so hopefully getting there will be easier to do now. But I do apologize profusely for this being such a short chapter. Life. It happens.**


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you okay?" Archer took the tired and filth covered Hazel into his arms. The latter man grunted, sighing into the man's chest as his legs beg him to collapse. His feet throb inside his boots, shoulders ache from carrying his sniper rifle for so long. There'd been an American team that had needed their support once their mission had been finished. So while the rest of the team headed back to base the two snipers were made to hike their way to the American's. They had offered to send someone to pick the two up but Shepherd wouldn't have any of it and said the two could hike. Neither wanting to argue with the general they sucked it up and make the hike over the course of two days. Both were covered in mud, chilled to the bones and beyond exhausted when they finally met up with the team.

With the clock ticking they had to catch what sleep they could as they moved locations in the back of a truck. Hazel was used to doing such things but it didn't change the crick in his neck and back. One look at Snow and he knew the younger man was suffering just the same. It'd been a long and hard two weeks and both men wanted nothing but the mission to be a success so they could get back to base. They hadn't been prepared to be out for the extended amount of time, and granted they knew things like this could happen in their line of work, but it didn't change how tired they felt. Running through back woods, cities, posing as drifters to hitch hike through the country. They were just thankful to finally have the chance to rest properly.

Hazel practically whimpers in gratitude as Archer takes the rifle from him, body slumping with release of the added weight. Not far away Snow is making a similar sound of thankfulness as Toad takes his rifle. Both men had immediately greeted them once they'd jumped out of the helicopter, the blades slowing to a stop. The older men had actually worried that with their rough landing, the two younger men might collapse before they could help them stand.

"There's some hot food in the mess hall then you can wash up." Archer gives Hazel a kiss on the top of his head, ruffling his already messy hair. "The guys have missed you but I'm sure once they see how banged up you two are they won't keep you long."

Hazel hums, forcing his body to stand on its own, "I was thinking clean my gun first." His eyes are half hooded, dark bags under his eyes from his recent sleep deprivation. His body was ready to shut down but he needed to make sure his gun was properly looked to before he could let his body collapse. Food wasn't even close to being on his mind. As soon as his gun was taken care of he had plans of stripping naked before curling up under his blankets. It wasn't the only thing on his mind either, he was thinking of possibly running into Ghost and he wasn't ready for that yet. Nor was he looking forward to the conversation he knew he needed to have with Archer.

"Yeah, there was so much fucking dirt and shit in the air. I actually had my gun lock up on me several times. Need to figure out what's going on with it." Snow fights through the exhaustion giving the three men a smile, "But thank you for the momentary rest. I got her from here Toad; got to finish it up myself."

Toad furrows his brow admiring the young man but he shakes his head, "Yeah, but you need to get rested too. You look like if I just barely touched you with my finger you'd fall over. That's not good. We'll take care of the guns, don't worry about them. We could get called out at any time and the team will need you at your best. Roach and Captain are already gone on a mission retrieving an ACS Module. Things are heating up. Go eat, and then get some rest. I wouldn't complain if you threw in a shower as well." Toad chuckles to himself at the last part and Snow can't help but stick his tongue out defiantly.

Hazel snorts from where he's standing putting his hands on his hips, "We both need showers. We're covered in a lot of crap so it'd be nice to not smell so bad. But I like taking care of my gun myself. I've had her for a long time; don't want to neglect her just because I'm tired. I've been in worse shape but taking care of her is one of my top priorities."

"But Toad's right, I got your gun James. Make sure you two eat and get cleaned up." Archer pats Hazel's hand away when he tries to take back his rifle. "You've seen me work with my own gun and I've watched you before. I'll make sure I do the best damn job on cleaning and checking her over. Now take Snow and do as your superior tells you to do, alright?"

He's too tired to try and fight so he lets the man keep his gun, "Fine… Come on Snow…" He drags his feet as he gets Snow to follow him, thanking the two men as they make their way to the mess hall.

"What was that kiss about?" Snow mumbles, a hand covering his mouth as he yawns. "Damn I'm fucking tired."

Hazel sighs, "He doesn't know about Ghost, remember? Nor have I talked to him… I need to do that soon…"

"Oh right…" Snow chuckles nervously, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. He'd asked Hazel about what had been bothering him when they were hiking to meet the other team. The older man had been so wound up that he'd been on the brink of exploding so when Snow asked he'd let everything flood out of him. Being away from Roach and his comforting presence had done its worst on him; he had needed a friend to talk to. Snow was willing to be that friend and Hazel was thankful as talking about it all made him start to relax. "I wonder what they have to eat today."

"As long as it's hot I don't care. I'm fucking tired of everything cold right now." Hazel grumbles pushing the door to the mess hall open.

"Welcome back, you look like zombies." Chemo laughs, making room next to him for the two men to join.

"I probably am a zombie, be careful I bite." Hazel scoffs, getting food and slumping down into the seat. Even though the seat wasn't as comforting as his bed or as warm he was thankful for being able to rest his aching feet, the pads tender as he stretches his legs out under the table. "Miss me?"

"You know it." Ozone pushes his food forward, sighing, "Things are getting rough. I was a little worried about the two of you."

Dragon points his fork at Hazel, waving it, "Things aren't just getting rough. This guy Makarov is about to make shit fucking explode. Heard Shepherd is looking for a new guy to send and infiltrate. The man's been making moves and since it has Shepherd on the edge of his seat I'm sure something bad is going to happen. It's a good thing you're back now so you can rest before we're shipped off somewhere on some mission."

"Sounds rough… We have got to be ready to go back out there." Hazel looks to Snow who is quietly shoveling food in his mouth. "You hear me?"

Snow nods, not sparing a second to respond.

"Dude, don't stuff yourself so much that you make yourself sick." Hazel pats Snow on the shoulder before starting to dig into his own meal, thankful as it warms his body from the inside.

Reaper rolls his eyes, "What, did those guys not feed you two? You look like you haven't eaten in days the way Snow's devouring his food."

"It was shitty. This is way better." Hazel takes another bite, grinning before taking a large gulp of water, "And we were on the move so it wasn't like we could sit and enjoy it before getting our asses shot at."

"That and they weren't exactly nice even though we saved their asses." Snow grumbles through his food, taking a gulp of his own water.

Hazel stays silent, enjoying the food but the others don't let it drop. Almost instantly they're asking questions. Bugging the two men to give an explanation of what Snow meant. Trying to break their newfound silence Robot takes a risk. He scouts forward in his seat and kicks Snow's shin.

"Fuck!" Snow yelps at the sudden contact, his hands shooting down to cover the now throbbing part of his leg. "What the hell? That was seriously uncalled for!"

"Why weren't they playing nice?" Pheasant leans forward, curiosity written all over his face.

"Just some jackasses I knew from basic that I might or might not have punched in the face. Granted I didn't at first, only after they tried to start something and were picking on Snow." Hazel leans back, burping into his fist. He figured he should speak up now before Robot kicked Snow again. The man probably wouldn't let it die later, using it against him. "I'm surprised I don't have someone jumping down my throat for that yet."

"That's because MacTavish isn't here yet."

Everyone looks up to see Ghost approaching. Hazel immediately turns away, pushing his food around with his fork before shoving a bite in his mouth. He can feel the man standing right behind him but he keeps his focus on the food. His appetite wasn't big when he first started to eat and now as he feels the tension spreading through his body it's gotten even smaller.

"Any news on the Captain and Roach?" Ozone asks trying to cut through the tension he doesn't know why is there.

"They're on their way back."

"That's good that they're alive." Chemo takes a bite of his almost forgotten food.

Hazel nods in agreement before he pushes himself up, "I'm gonna go wash up, I fucking stink and I'm tired. Wake me if something pops up."

"We can talk on the way there." Ghost is standing with his arms crossed over his chest a few feet from Hazel. His facial expression is hidden behind his mask but his sunglasses are folded in his pocket. His blue eyes are piercing as he stares Hazel down making the man feel uncomfortable. But he takes everything into account finding his self lucky that Ghost is willing to speak with him. Taking a deep breath he nods and follows the Lieutenant towards the barracks, lagging behind several steps.

"Are you going to talk to him?" Ghost stops unexpectedly, Hazel almost running into the man's back.

He keeps his eyes on the ground, nodding his head, "I'm going to today. I haven't figured out how but I will… Maybe after I got some sleep and figure out how to say what I want."

"Have you decided who you're going to choose?" Ghost reaches a hand out gripping Hazel's chin in a tight grip.

Hazel keeps his eyes averted to the ground, gulping with pain resonating from his jaw, but a weak yes escapes his lips. He doesn't want to have this conversation yet. Ghost isn't going to let him walk away and is blocking his path. He can feel the tension in his body instinctively making his hands grip into tight fists at his side. He doesn't know what to do but the thought of trying to run away does cross his mind. Get somewhere that doesn't end with him cornered in a situation he didn't want to be in. Probably best to do so before he lost control and his anger boiled over but for the moment he didn't feel it gnawing in the back of his mind.

Ghost had other plans about keeping him there, pushing Hazel up against a wall to stop him from escaping. "Even if you're going to choose him, just tell me now. Damn it, look at me!"

Hazel flinches from the raised voice and his knees nearly collapse as he slowly raises his eyes up from the ground. "I'm scared to look at you. I'm fucking terrified! I didn't know this would happen! Before I might have been able to easily pick between the two of you but I still don't have some of my memory! I know this must suck for you but it fucking sucks for me too!"

"So you think its okay?" Ghost turns away with a hand over his mouth, sighing in frustration.

"It's not okay, and it never will be but I didn't ask to be put in this situation. I didn't ask for a guy to come sweep me off my feet, or have another work his way into my bed. I didn't mean for anyone to fall in love with me when I can't even love myself."

Ghost's hand that had been digging into Hazel's jaw falls away and Hazel holds it, gently massaging the sore area. He lets his eyes rise to Ghost's face to try and read something on the man's expression but those sunglasses are back on. Shut out from the other man Hazel backs away before hesitantly making his way around his friend.

"I didn't mean to fall in love but it happened and it doesn't stop the suffocating pain I feel."

Upstairs in the showers Hazel let's his head lull forward, water dripping into his eyes as he stares down at the ground. Tears silently fall as he watches his blood mixed into the water swirl down the drain before snapping his head up at the sound of someone entering. Hastily he wipes away the blood still on the tiled wall and off his hands.

"You weren't that hungry." Hazel looks up to see Snow making his way to the stall next to him, turning the water on and sighing contentedly as it falls over his sore body.

"I'm too tired to be hungry." Hazel picks up a bar of soap and starts to scrub his body clean. "I just can't wait to crawl in my bed and relax. I'm just so fucking tired."

"Yeah…" Snow starts to wash himself, glancing cautiously over at Hazel, "I ran into Ghost on the way in. He seemed, down to say the least before he noticed me then he immediately put up a wall. Did you not tell him?"

Hazel keeps his eyes on the ground, "I don't know what I did but I didn't tell him... I have to talk to Archer first."

"You do seem to put others before you, but you didn't do it for Ghost; why not?" Snow crosses his arms over the short wall between them, studying his face.

"I don't know…" Hazel keeps his eyes downcast as he continues to scrub harshly at his skin until it is red and burning. "I just think I should talk to Archer first. See how that goes before telling Ghost."

"You got some grime on your back between your shoulders." Snow comments, turning away to finish washing himself, "And I understand you want to drag out your own pain but you're doing it to Ghost too and it's not fair."

Hazel works at getting the grime off his back, no longer wanting to talk about it before rinsing and wrapping a towel tightly around his waist. "Good night kid."

"Good night sir." Snow sighs, noticing the fresh cuts on Hazel's knuckles but he doesn't say anything. He'll just talk to Roach about it later when the man returned with the Captain.

Hazel makes his way upstairs to his room in his towel not caring to put on any clothes to sleep in. What he isn't expecting when he gets to his floor is to see Archer waiting patiently outside his door. A blush crept up his cheeks, naked save a towel, as he got closer trying to read the taller man's face as he looked off in the opposite direction. From his facial expression someone could think he was just as tired as Hazel even if the man hadn't been on the mission. Something was clearly bothering him; his hands in tight firsts at his sides, bottom lip bruising as he chewed on it. It made Hazel hesitate in his step as he appreciated the man's appearance, wishing he could throw himself into the man and feel safe in those arms. Arms he was, not too long ago, taking comfort in after the mission. He wanted to make that moment last forever, to not have to face the coming problems but he had to, whether he liked it or not.

His steps are silent as he gets closer, the floor cold against his naked feet that Archer has yet to realize he is there. Clearing his throat to get the man's attention he points at Archer's own room, "I would think you'd be out practicing or resting, is there something wrong?"

Archer looks up with surprise, his mouth opening slightly to speak before closing it and looking away. His cheeks are reddening with a blush, "I wanted to talk to you about something first."

Hazel felt a hand clench around his chest, squeezing the breath out of him as he came to a stop just out of arms' reach, "What is it?"

Archer shuffles his feet, obviously nervous before lifting his head to stare into Hazel's eyes, "About before you left, and… You know, I kind of pushed myself onto you."

Hazel tried to hold eye contact but he couldn't find it in him to look back. His eyes cast down to the floor; he could feel a sob rising in the back of his throat. The moment he didn't want to go through was arising and he had no way to escape it. Archer was blocking his path to his room and he couldn't just tell the man to drop it for the meantime. The only thing that would do was make everything worse than it already was, no matter how this conversation went. All he had to do to confirm this was thing about the short conversation with Ghost proving how shitty a day he was having and it was only halfway over.

Trying to figure out how to even begin speaking Hazel clears his throat, a hand coming up to rub at his stubble.

"You don't have to say anything right now, I think… I just, I want to be with you." The feelings in those words cut through Hazel like a hot knife through butter.

He could taste the sob being replaced by bile. It made him consider stepping forward and let it all out, attempt to get some kind of relief but it wouldn't be that easy. Across from him Archer could see the conflicting emotions playing across Hazel's face. It made him feel guilty for his actions as he took a step forward, a hand reaching out.

Hazel didn't realize it until the hand was caressing his cheek gently, thumb rubbing just under his eye, "We have to talk about it…"

"I know…" Archer steps closer until they're chests are almost touching. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest as he lifts his other hand to hold Hazel's face making him look up into his eyes. "Do you hate me because of it?"

Hazel's breath catches as he sees the affection in the other man's eyes. A lump forms in his throat refusing to let him breath, misery engulfing him as he thinks about what must be said. How he knows there's no way to say it without causing pain to this caring man. But one thing he couldn't bring himself to say was that he hated the man. That's something that could never be true no matter the situation. Even if he could remember the pain and anger from before when Archer treated him horribly, he couldn't make himself hate the man. Not as he comforted him, hands gentle as they held his face up, wanting nothing but to soothe the pain.

"You're not saying anything, you do don't you…" Archer turns away, hands clenching the bottom of his shirt like a child. Even though he was bigger than Hazel, Archer couldn't help but feel smaller in the face of rejection.

"I don't hate you."

The words cut through Archer sparking hope but as his eyes raised and he saw tears falling down the other man's face, he knew it wouldn't be that simple. Just like Hazel, Archer knew it couldn't be that simple despite wishing it was. Everything that had happened prior to the confession of his desire for the younger man rushed to the forefront of his mind. How he'd struck out so angrily, so hostile in his actions destroying any kind of friendship they could have gained in the beginning.

"I can't love you." The words are heavy, fatal, as he speaks. He doesn't have to lift his eyes from where they've fallen to stare at the ground. He can just feel how Archer took the news. "Before you did something, before everything, there was someone who cared just as much for me, or even more. They, they made their way into my heart before you had a chance… They didn't… Ian, you were hurtful to me before this all happened, when I got hurt and lost it all. Just because I can't remember doesn't change that it happened or not, it did… How can I go further and trust you if you acted like that? I want to forgive you, and I do, but I can't forget how I had been tortured. To think I had to go through rejection from my superior when I came here… I carry nothing but anger, I can't help but hate myself, but how does it work if… How could it work with you? I tried thinking about it but people; no matter how they try they can't change themselves from who they really are. What if you did it again? I've been in that relationship before and I'm not willing to go through it again… The pain, I felt was like being tortured and chained and after experiencing those things I know it is. I can't do this with you." Hazel finally stopped talking taking a deep breath as his hands lifted to his hair tugging roughly. "God, I was sleeping with someone when you, when we… Fuck… I don't know where to even begin to fix this…"

There's a strangled noise and Hazel looks up to see Archer with a hand over his mouth, trying desperately to hold back his sobs. Tears rained down his face, staining the top of his shirt, chest shaking with each desperate gasp. Hazel looks away; feeling his chest aching, throat constricting not allowing him to take a proper breath.

"You were sleeping with someone else…"

Hazel keeps his head turned away, ashamed of himself, "Yes…" He clenches the towel in his hands, his right thumb finding the fresh cuts in his knuckles, pressing the nail into the tender flesh.

"I felt something was wrong… It's Ghost, isn't it?" Archer lifts his eyes to look at Hazel's downcast face; trying to see something in those eyes he wanted nothing to lose himself in. Instead those eyes hid from him, refusing to look his way.

"Yes…"

The answer is barely above a whisper but Archer hears it like it'd been screamed in his face, "Why didn't you say something?"

Hazel sighs, face lifting to show the heartache in his eyes, "I tried… But I wasn't strong enough… Strong enough to stop what we were doing…"

"What I was doing…" Archer exhales, groaning as a hand covers his eyes, "Fuck…"

Hazel tries to say something but Archer is already moving past him disappearing down the hall leaving the man alone to find his way to his room. His depression grows as he collapses, sobs escaping and muffled into his bed. He curls up under the blankets, hugging his pillow to his chest unable to stop.

Down on the first floor Archer stops for a moment, taking in a deep breath trying to calm his self but he can't find the composure. He could only feel the pain in his chest as he rushed through the front doors, the afternoon sun beating down on him. It took a moment to recognize the voice that called out to him as he stops, taking in a sharp intake of the air.

Wiping angrily to dry his face he turns and salutes his Captain, "Sir."

"Are you okay?" MacTavish asks, noticing the redness of Archer's eyes.

Archer looks to Ghost, not really noticing Roach standing behind the Captain, "I'm fine, sir. Nothing some good fresh air won't fix and some target practice."

"Alright, go on then." MacTavish nods to the men heading into the barracks with the intention to clean up and get some rest after his mission. Roach and he were both exhausted; the poor kid almost fell off a cliff then they'd had to escape on enemy snowmobiles jumping a huge gap in a cliff. Roach had yelled and stormed around on their way back, teeth chattering from the cold as the adrenaline started to fade leaving him scared about what had just happened. A few well placed kisses and he had settled to sitting down, grumbling about never going anywhere remotely cold again. MacTavish had just laughed and shrugged, telling the younger man it would be okay because he would be there to protect him no matter what.

Ghost moves to follow the two men inside, too emotionally drained to deal with Archer, in his mind expecting for the man to be happy with his win, though he might not know it yet. What he doesn't expect is the hand that wraps around his arm to keep him from passing. He hadn't really looked at the man during the brief exchange with MacTavish but now he raises his eyes from the ground, the redness hidden behind his sunglasses. He sees that same redness looking back at him, the heartbreak in those eyes, he felt his stomach lurch. Just what had happened for the man to be in this state?

His lips frowning under his mask he fully faces Archer, the hand falling away from his arm, "What's wrong?"

"I talked to Hazel…" Archer turns his head away, ashamed as tears sting the back of his eyes threatening to fall.

Ghost stays quiet, hands clenching at his sides. What did this mean for him? The younger man had left him with no answer but a burning pain in his chest, clenching his heart making it difficult to breath, now he's learning he had gone to reject Archer? It made no sense to him; he was angry, almost furious. He couldn't bite back the growl that escaped his lips, brows furrowing as he glared at the ground. He knew something had to be done but in the end he wasn't paying attention to how either man felt! Turning hard on his heels he stormed upstairs to his room, the door almost breaking off the hinges as he slammed it shut with a click of the lock. A few voices reached his ears as he slid to the floor, his head in his hands, fighting back the tears soaking his mask. They were concerned for their Lieutenant but he didn't care to say anything, determined to not let them see him broken and crying. Chest tightening more than he thought possible, he gasped for breath trying desperately to calm himself but succeeding in only hyperventilating himself.

o0o

Hazel woke up, head pounding deafeningly. Groaning aloud he shifts in his bed turning over to hear a soft knocking. Sitting up quickly, groaning again as his head swims in circles, he mumbles for the person to enter. The dim lights from the hallway flood inside the door, though they quickly fade as the door shuts, and to his horror the main light in his room is flipped on.

"Dude you've been asleep for almost a full twelve hours, get over it and come on, let's run before morning training." Snow yanks Hazel's blanket away, a huge grin on his face then one of horror as he realizes Hazel is stark naked. "Oh god!"

"Shouldn't have taken my fucking blanket from me; what the fuck were you thinking? I'm chilly, give it back! I don't want to get out of bed yet." Hazel grumbles, waving an arm lazily through the air trying to get his blanket back to no avail.

"Get dressed, come on! I slept so fucking long I'm bursting with energy! I even made you a cup of tea." Snow pouts, pointing to Hazel's desk where a mug is sitting, steam radiating from the contents.

"Damn it…" Hazel continues to grumble as he forces his body out of bed, a hand clapping over his mouth as he yawns. A tear forms in the corner of his eye as he lifts the hot contents to his lips, blowing across its surface before carefully sipping. He hums, eyes closing with a smile across his face, "Damn I love tea in the morning."

"I know that's why I made it." Snow continues to pout, arms now crossed over his chest while he's found a seat on Hazel's bed. "Come on, get dressed already. I can only stand so much of seeing your ass. Literally, it's so fucking bright I might go blind!"

Hazel snorts, setting the drink down and, with reluctance, gets dressed tying his pair of boots on, "You know, I would think you'd want to sleep in after that mission."

Snow shrugs, "Nah, I mean, I slept majority of yesterday away. I did make it to dinner unlike you though. Roach was talking about how he'd almost fell off a cliff but Captain saved him. Then, it get's better! They got compromised and stole snowmobiles and had a firefight while escaping down a cliff! Man, it sounds like fucking fun! We should do that sometime too!"

Hazel stares at his laughing partner for a few moments before looking away, shaking his head as he sips more of his tea, "Something is seriously fucking wrong with you. Who would want to get compromised then shot at? I mean I like riding snowmobiles like the next guy but I'd rather not be getting shot at and having to worry about getting killed in general someway or another. You worry me sometimes."

Snow shrugs again waving his hands in the air innocently, "Yeah but it's what makes me fun to be around. Never boring, right?"

"You mean like when you kept rolling around on the ground because you were bored of waiting. Oh, let's not forget you kept bumping into me to entertain you because you were tired of looking down your scope? I think that's more annoying and irritating then I want someone to be." Hazel finishes his tea, setting the mug aside. "Come on, let's go." He ruffles Snow's hair on his way out and leads the way downstairs.

"So…" Snow falls in line behind him, rubbing his hands together nervously, "Archer looked pretty upset at dinner and Ghost wouldn't talk to anyone. I heard him and MacTavish had a huge argument after the man had gotten back from his mission. Do you know what happened?"

Hazel keeps his eyes forward, sighing inwardly thinking about the previous day, "Don't worry about it. Let's get warmed up." He steps out into the dead of the morning and starts off towards the track at a light jog."

Snow follows quietly, biting his lip nervous to break the silence that had engulfed them. He knew something had happened but he wasn't sure what but by the red eyes Archer had tried so hard to hide were any indication, he knew what about. Taking a deep breath through his nose, blowing out through his mouth, he keeps pace with Hazel, "You know my mom's birthday is today." The man silently kicks himself at the poor conversation starter.

To his relief, Hazel chuckles beside him, "Oh yeah? I don't even know what today's date is."

"It's August 12th, you know maybe you should pay more attention to that kind of thing." Snow berated, rolling his eyes at his superior.

"Hey! I take offense to that! That's what I have you for!" Hazel pushes Snow lightly, "And plus, if you get the captain to let you phone home, tell your mom I said happy birthday."

Snow grins widely, "Thanks!" but it quickly disappears to a frown, "But you should still try and keep track of the days."

Hazel rolls his eyes, quickening his pace once on the track, "Whatever." Feeling better thanks to the man's attempts Hazel can't stop the small smile that spreads across his face and he takes comfort in the man's company. Then something lifts his spirits even higher; a bounding bouncing blonde appears cheerfully joining their pre-workout.

"Hazel!" The man yells, grinning from ear to ear as he hugs his friend.

"Roach!" Hazel hugs the man tightly before letting him go and they continue at a jog around the track, "I heard it got rough on your last mission. Don't you want to rest a couple extra hours before training?"

"I'm fine." Roach drags out the last word, blowing off the worry with a wave of his hand, "MacTavish wasn't going to let me get hurt. Once we were on the snowmobiles he actually stayed behind me so if something bad happened he was going to protect me."

Hazel snickers at the man while Snow looks between them clearly confused, "Don't worry about it."

"Oh, and I heard that General Shepherd is here, have you seen him?" Roach keeps pace with them, "He's a scary guy to be around."

"Yesterday I saw him walking around and yeah, he was pretty intimidating when he recruited me. I couldn't look him in the face without feeling overwhelmed by his presence." Snow rubs his upper arms with a shake of his head.

"I don't like him." Hazel frowns, irritation bubbling under the surface. "I've had several conversations with him but I don't like him. Even my dad can't stand the guy, calls him a child playing soldier and that to the higher-ups they think he's a joke."

Roach's eyes shoot open wide, his jaw dropping along with Snow, "What the fuck?"

"Dude, your dad's probably scary as fuck!" Snow slaps a hand over his face with a groan.

"He's actually nice." Roach grins, "He's visited before but now that I think about it, the whole time your family was here, Shepherd was off somewhere else."

"He's afraid of my father; it's not strange for people like him to be scared of the real deal." Hazel speaks nonchalantly, shoulders shrugging as he picks up the groups pace.

"Yeah, your dad sounds fucking scary as hell." Snow was growing exasperated with Hazel's attitude towards their general. "But still, dude you shouldn't talk like that even if that's how it is with the other generals."

"I think someone's scared." Hazel laughs, ruffling up Snow's hair. "Let's just get the warm up finished then take a small break before the real workout begins."

"I think you're insane. What if he heard you?" Snow sighs as the words leave his mouth knowing that Hazel could care less if he'd been heard.

His confirmation came with a shrug by Hazel as he continued running around the track. Eventually they stopped, out of breath as they stretched out and sat in the grass. Snow grumbles a few more times at Hazel as they rest but the older man laughs him off. Roach isn't even paying attention to Snow's grumbles, asking Hazel about the details of their mission.

Roach lets out a low whistle when he finishes, "That's, that's a lot to take in."

"Yeah…" Hazel crosses his legs, stretching out and putting his weight on his elbows, "I told Archer last night. Granted it was sooner than I wanted… I just, I didn't want it to go the way it did."

"Nothing ever works the way you want it to." Roach sighs, crossing his arms under his head. "What about Ghost; have you figured out what you're going to say?"

Hazel shakes his head and lies back, eyes blinking as he looks up at the sky, the sun illuminating the clouds in a pink hue as it rises.

"You should have just told him yesterday when he cornered you." Snow comments, sitting with his legs crossed, leaning back on his hands. "Why didn't you?"

"Yeah, he looked pretty upset when MacTavish and I got back. He wanted to talk to him alone and was about to rip my head off if I didn't bug off when Archer showed up. I was thankful for the change of attention but he looked pretty upset too." Roach turns his head to look at Hazel.

He closes his eyes as he feels the pair of eyes on him, whining on the inside, "I didn't think I'd be cornered by Archer right after Ghost. Admittedly though, it wouldn't have changed anything."

"How are your hands?"

"He broke his knuckles open yesterday."

"Fucking tattle teller." Hazel rolls onto his side, resting his head on his arm enjoying the cool grass against his skin. "My hands are fine."

"You put gloves on again; I noticed when I came up earlier. You shouldn't do that to yourself." Roach sits up and looks over at his friend. "Even if you hate yourself there are those of us who don't."

"What don't be selfish? Maybe I want to." Hazel brings his knees up towards his chest.

"You're going back to sleep before practice even starts?" All three men look up to see Ghost approaching, his mask and sunglasses hiding any hint of how he's feeling. His voice monotone, arms crossing over his chest as he comes to a stop, "If you have time to do that then start running."

"But no one else is here yet." Snow whimpers, not wanting to run anymore yet.

"Shut up." Hazel hops up, dusting himself off, "The lieutenant said to run so let's run."

Roach and Snow exchange a look before running hard to catch up with their friend. They continue in a group at a steady pace, both men not speaking noticing the hard look in Hazel's eyes. His face is hidden from his friends but they can assume, correctly, that he's frowning beneath the fabric. He's thinking about how to respond to Ghost, what he's supposed to say, but as the others show up, one by one, he hasn't come up with anything. Even when everyone is present he's not able to come up with anything, nor is he able to make eye contact with Archer or Toad when they look his way.

At one point during the training he's silently praying his friends would stop glancing his way, drawing Ghost's attention to him as well. Just feeling Archer looking at him made him want to die on the inside but now he's feeling even lousier. The end of training is a relief and he takes comfort in his solitude having found himself alone in the mess hall before the others arrive. It was thanks to him skipping a shower but he wasn't worried about it, he wanted the time alone more than he was worried about personal hygiene.

Sitting with a simple plate of food he starts eating, unaware of someone approaching behind him until they clear their throat. He nearly falls out of his seat, his fork falling to the ground as he turns around to see Toad glaring down at him. Hazel gulps with his hands on the table behind him as he starts to stand up. The taller man doesn't let him, shoving him back down into his seat.

Hazel opens his mouth but Toad cuts in, voice harsh, "What the fuck did you do to him?"

Hazel closes his mouth, unsure of what to say and is thankful as someone interrupts.

"Christian!" Both men look to the doorway to see Archer walking in.

"Fuck…" Hazel sighs under his breath turning his head away, staring down at the ground.

Toad turns, growling as he lifts Hazel up by the front of his shirt, "I liked you kid, I did, but I had a bad feeling when I found out he started to like you. Your family doesn't exactly have the kindest reputation, even I know that and I'm not American." Hazel narrows his eyes but Toad continues screaming in his face, "It's not like it's a huge secret that none of you are faithful, just like you're not your father's biological child!"

Archer cuts his partner off, yanking the man away, Hazel stumbling back into the table, "Christian! Stop!"

"No, what else do you have to say you fucking jackass!" Hazel growls, sidestepping Archer to glare at Toad, fists clenched at his sides. His body shook at the force of the anger coursing through his body, a vein throbbing visibly in his neck. "That's not the real reason you're pissed and we both know it, don't we. What the fuck do you actually want to say?"

Archer looks between the two men, unsure of what's happening before his eyes but when Toad scoffs, turning away, he questions his best friend. "Chris, what is he talking about?"

"Nothing!" Toad walks out of the mess hall leaving Archer confused and alone with Hazel.

Sighing heavily Hazel finds his seat; his hands shaking with anger.

Archer walks away but moment's later returns with a plate of food and sits down next to him, "I've never seen him burst out like that… He's usually the laid back joking person while I'm the more serious one… I don't know why…"

Hazel listens as Archer's voice fades, realizing his fork is still on the ground. Cursing under his breath he lifts it up and goes into the kitchen to clean it off and sit back down. By this time Archer is finished with his food, staring at the empty dish with a stern expression. Hazel slides down into his seat and eats his food, his heart crashing against his chest. Body still shaking from the adrenaline, he moves to get up but a hand clenching around his forearm and sniffling sounds brings him to a stop.

Sitting back down Hazel looks over at Archer, tears streaming down the man's face, "I'm sorry…"

Archer shakes his head, "Why did he act like that…"

Hazel looks away, sighing, shoulders slumping, "I think I know but, it's not my place. You need to have that conversation with him."

"People keep saying that to me." Archer pulls his hand back, noticing the black gloves on Hazel's hands. "Why are you wearing gloves?"

Hazel looks down at his hands, palm up with his fingers spread, "Want to."

Archer looks down at his plate, "Can we still be friends?"

Hazel almost chokes on air looking up at Archer with tears he'd been fighting all morning starting to sting his eyes again. Something he didn't think was possible was coming from Archer and as the tears started to fall he felt the man wrap him in his arms. He whispers that he's sorry over and over, hands clenching Archer's shirt.

"I'd never want to stop being friends with you."

Hazel pulls away to look up at Archer, a light smile on his lips, "Thank you…"

"Thank you." Archer smiles back, ruffling the smaller man's hair before taking his dishes and disappears.

Hazel sits there for a few minutes, smiling with his chin in his palm, staring across the room at the wall. He hadn't lost one friend and he couldn't help how happy it made him feel, how comforting it was. It didn't fix things immediately between them but it was a starting point to fix things. Now he just had to figure out how to talk to Ghost, how was he supposed to talk to the man, he still wasn't sure about. Sighing as the weight of that coming conversation started weighing down on him he dealt with his dishes. Stretching and popping his back he left the mess hall, passing many of the guys who'd finally made their way to find food. One of them is Scarecrow who grabs him roughly, yanking him down and rubbing his knuckles roughly against Hazel's head.

"Damn it!" Hazel whines, pushing at his friend to get off, "Come on!"

Chemo laughs as he comes up to the men, "Can I join?"

"His sister let it slip that he's ticklish." Ozone comes up, a wide grin on his face.

"He could use some laughs with that expression he's been wearing today." Scarecrow laughs, yanking Hazel to the ground, successfully pinning him.

Hazel pouts, fighting back laughter as the two other men join in keeping the smaller man on the ground. "This isn't fair! Roach! Help!"

They are all laughing and joking when Roach finally does show up, out of breath with his face white as a sheet. All the laughing and jokes fade at the look, Roach stuttering as he tries to speak. Hazel pushes himself up, Chemo rolling to the ground crashing into Ozone, Scarecrow taking Hazel's hand pulling him up. He comes up to his friend, grabbing his shoulders trying to steady the man.

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost, literally." Hazel frowns, highly concerned about his friend.

"You remember that guy Makarov?" Roach finally gets out, some of the color starting to come back to his face.

"Yeah, he's a pretty big deal from what I heard… Shepherd has a guy on him?" Hazel's frown deepens as the three other men gather around listening.

"Well he just took out a fucking airport and left it at the hands of an American…"

Hazel stares with his eyes widening, his mouth opening but no sound coming out. His heart rate starts to climb at the revelation of consequences started to play through his mind, the most devastating being an all out war between Russia and America. The same things are playing through the three other American's present, faces turning white, each thinking about their own families that are now in danger.

Breath catching in his throat, Hazel forces himself to speak, "When did this happen?"

"This morning, no one really knows yet but it's bad. Ghost and MacTavish are talking with General Shepherd now about the next move." Roach, eyes still wide, looks up at Hazel, "What's going to happen?"

"War is extremely likely but hopefully you guys got that ACS Module in time…" Chemo hides his face in his hands, "Oh my god…"

"We can't freak out yet. Nothing has happened yet, it literally just happened. Maybe things can be discussed; let the Russians know it was Makarov behind this. That it wasn't America behind the attack." Scarecrow runs his hands through his hair as he turns away hiding his distressed expression.

"It wasn't an attack, it was a bloody massacre." The men turn to see MacTavish approaching with Ghost right behind him. "Roach, Chemo, get to the briefing room, now. Ghost; get Royce, Meat, Rocket, and Driver. Scarecrow, Hazel, Ozone, you are officially on standby. Hazel, get with Snow and I don't want you more than five feet away from him, I want the two of you ready. When I say jump, you don't ask how high you just fucking jump as high as you possibly can. Makarov left this at the feet of an American, your home. Our proof that it was Makarov died with Allen, that new recruit of Shepherd's. We're going to follow the only trail we got to clear America but things can go south, and they probably will. Get prepped."

The men all salute, expressions hardening in preparation of the unknown to come, "Yes sir!"

**A/N: Holy crap, a lot just happened there at the end! We are now getting into the game which I have now played! Yay! So it's been awhile since I've updated, I apologize, and it'll be awhile till the next update unfortunately. Thanks for reading! Love you guys, seriously, love you guys and thank you so much for still reading!**

**P.S. … Who's Hazel's dad? Wtf? Hehehe had this one planned from the get go, can anyone guess it? It might be a little obvious, maybe. **


	11. Chapter 11

"You think there's a chance we'll get sent home?" Snow uncrosses his legs, stretching them out from his seat on the couch. To his left Hazel is slouched down in the couch, arm slung across his forehead. To his right Ozone is fiddling with his thumbs, unsure of what to do with Scarecrow to his right, boots propped up on a metal coffee table. On a separate couch several other members of the task force sit and await further instructions, others standing around or at the few tables scattered about in the REC room.

"There's no point getting sent home at this point. We signed up for this task force to prevent war and terrorism, and yes it might not be going well now; I understand that, but if we go home now who's going to take over our jobs here? We're fighting to protect our families, even if we're not right there with them. It's for the best."

"You say that Scarecrow, but we're sitting here on our asses not doing anything!" One man yells from his seat at a table, his hands tugging at his hair in frustration.

"A team has already been assembled and they're leaving soon." Everyone turns to see Jester walking into the room, glaring at Hazel when he notices the man. "They're gearing up now; no point in all of us going in at once. We just have to see what their mission gives us."

Hazel glances up at Snow as the man sighs, a frown on his lips, "You're only just working yourself up Alex, nothing has happened yet. All we can do now is wait and see."

"Yet, nothing has happened yet but it's only a matter of time." The man stood up, tired of being in the cramped room wanting to be doing something, anything but suffocating there.

"You going to follow him?" Ozone looks over at Hazel where he's still slumped down on the couch, Snow already gone from the room.

"Capt said I have to." Hazel sighs, forcing his self up from the couch to follow his team mate.

"I hope that isn't the only reason but then again we all know how you treat your teammates." Jester finds his way to a seat next to Worm, left arm secured in a cast. It was one of the many reminders of what Hazel had done to the man in their previous encounter. Under his shirt he's wearing a wrap over his broken ribs, a brace over a fractured ankle; a line of stitches down a gash on the side of his shoulder. Even with all his wounds he wasn't afraid to voice his complete distaste for Hazel.

Hazel wasn't concerned with the man's remark nor was he concerned with the nods of those agreeing with Jester. Let the men think what they wanted; it didn't make a difference to him. If they decided they didn't want to have anything to do with him because he was bisexual then he was better off not worrying about it. Even if there were allies who were okay with it, he knew what it was like trying to fight that never changing tide of hate and he wasn't about to worry about it. His best friend was about to go fight in a war along with the man he loved, he couldn't just sit here quietly but he knew there was nothing he could do. He also knew though that he needed to be ready to go out at any time, including his strung out partner. Thus he had every intention to do his best for the both of them because neither knew what the future would bring. Keeping this in mind he ignores another remark made by Jester and follows after his partner.

Outside in the hallway he listens for signs of Snow, the clack of boots on the floor, whispered curses. Putting a bit of force into his steps Hazel walks down the hall, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes glancing around almost absentmindedly as he draws closer. Only when he reaches his partners side just before stepping outside of the building did Hazel let his eyes fixate. The trembling of the man's fists at his sides, a distraught look in his eyes, he took it all in. He slowed his pace to walk beside the man outside, guiding the man towards the training grounds. Once there he stepped in front of his friend, the younger man almost running into him before backing up quickly, a noise of surprise leaving his lips.

"Things haven't gotten that bad, and yes, I understand things can easily get worse but we can't do anything about it now." Hazel pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered one to his friend. "All we can do right now is wait until the time arises for us to move forward. Can you do that for me?"

Snow takes the cigarette and offered lighter, breathing in the smoke. It burns slightly as it moves down his throat, filling his lungs, the feeling leaving him light headed, body forcibly relaxing. Slowly he lets the smoke escape his mouth around the still present cigarette before taking another drag, "Yeah, I'll calm down but I don't want to be cooped up in that room with everyone. The atmosphere is suffocating."

"Why do you think I had myself slumped on the couch? Figured if I was closer to the ground, maybe I could breathe a little better." The end of Hazel's own cigarette glows a bright red as he breathes it in, exhaling through his nose after holding it in for a few moments; his mask rolled up to sit on his nose.

"Aren't you worried, about your family?" Snow asks after several minutes of silence and another cigarette later.

Hazel feels the shrug move his shoulders before he realizes it, "Well…" He sighs, looking out across the open area in front of the shooting range, "I guess I am, but they're all military so I'm not particularly worried about them…"

"You're not scared or frightened by the prospects of war?" Snow looks up from his cigarette, dropping it to the ground and grinding it out with his boot.

Hazel stares out at the open, eyes unfocused as he searches in his mind how to reply to his friend. Even when he comes up with something he's unsure but nonetheless he looks at Snow, a tired smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, "War is something that is always happening, even if the people don't know its happening. In cases like mine, I know what it's already like, not just to be fighting but what it means to be a prisoner of war. I guess you could say I'm just more concerned with preventing it, not letting others go through the torture of being a prisoner, than worrying about what could happen if we fail. Only when it's confirmed will I worry about the prospects of an all out war with Russia. For now, I'm going to hope we can stop it before it starts. Show the world just who Makarov really is."

Snow stares at his friend for a few moments before shaking his head and looking off into the distance, "You're really weird sometimes."

"But I can say the right thing sometimes so it counts as alright." Hazel chuckles lightly, snuffing out his own cigarette, "Let's go back inside and find Roach before he takes off, wish the bug some good luck."

Snow smiles, the weight still present on his shoulders, heavy in his mind but now able to push it aside for the moment, "He'll need it after almost falling off that cliff in Kazakhstan."

Hazel rolls his eyes as he leads his partner towards the armory, "I don't think you're ever going to let him live that down are you."

Snow grins, "Not in a million years."

"Poor kid…" Hazel jokes with his hands fidgeting at his sides, no longer thinking about their small conversation but about the prospect of seeing Ghost. The action isn't missed by Snow who figures its best not to ask now, beginning to understand his worry is focused on the men heading out now. Walking quietly next to his friend he mentally sends a prayer for the team's safety along with the missions' success, hoping the inevitable is preventable.

Just as they reach the armory they see MacTavish walk out, absently chewing his lip. An action Hazel recalls doing so when he wants a smoke. Hesitating in his step he nods for Snow to continue without him and he finds himself veering towards his captain. A call leaves his lips despite the nervousness, the slight dread sinking in the pit of his stomach. They hadn't really talked since Hazel's outburst at his superior and while he hasn't been disciplined for it, he was still cautious in his approach.

"There something you need soldier?" MacTavish stops in his step turning to look at Hazel. "I still remember our last conversation, if that's what you want to call it."

Hazel keeps his eyes focused on anything that isn't MacTavish, "It's about that… I shouldn't have done that… I was completely out of line and shouldn't have said what I did. I wanted to apologize to you… Sir…"

"Then why can't you look at me." MacTavish takes a step closer to Hazel and the man feels suffocated by the air.

His hands are clenching into fists inside of his pockets, brows furrowing as he lifts his eyes reluctantly to look up at MacTavish. His chest clenches, pain searing his insides with self-hate. He fights to keep his eyes clear of it but he knew his captain better, the man could read anyone, even Ghost. He sees the pity clear as day in the other man's eyes and it makes him look away again.

"I… I'm afraid to... I should go see Roach before you guys leave." Hazel turns to go but MacTavish puts a hand on his shoulder stopping the younger man in his tracks.

"I should probably apologize too…" MacTavish sighs quietly, turning Hazel but the man is still staring down at the ground. "When this is all over I'll tell everyone. I would now but we both know I can't have my men questioning my orders heading into war."

Hazel looks up at his commanding officer, wide eyed at the revelation, "Yes sir, I understand." He turns away, unsure of the feelings stirring inside of him but as he feels the small squeeze on his shoulder before it disappears he understands its awe. Before MacTavish vanishes from sight he calls out to the man, a grin on his lips, "Good luck out there, Captain."

"Go talk to Ghost." The Captain gives a small wave of his hand and continues walking away towards the hanger.

Taking a deep breath and understanding now has to be the moment; Hazel jogs the small distance between him and the armory. Stepping into the room he's greeted with the sight of men getting ready, the sounds of gear snapping into place, the resounding clack of a clip sliding home. Moving through the bodies, nodding and wishing luck to the men he passes, he reaches a hand out to squeeze Chemo's shoulder.

"Don't tell me you're worried?" Chemo laughs, patting Hazel's arm, "I'll be fine mom."

Hazel rolls his eyes, "Better be or I'll find a flyswatter and hit you with it."

The two men laugh and Hazel makes his way further into the armory looking for Ghost and Roach. He hears them before he sees them, Snow having riled up Roach about his clumsiness. Stopping a few feet away Hazel leans against a locker watching Ghost join in on roasting Roach. It brings a smile to his face as he watches his friends and he can't help but laugh aloud. During this distraction Ghost pulls himself from the conversation and without a second to think Hazel is pulled towards the back room away from everyone.

"Wha-what?" He looks around and sees Ghost standing in front of him, eyes furrowed behind his sunglasses. "Simon… I-"

"Shut up." Ghost shoves Hazel hard against a wall, closing and locking the door so no one could meddle in their talk.

"Simon?" Hazel stays back against the wall, worried as Ghost turns back and glares at him.

"You never did tell me what you've decided but I saw how Archer was the other night… You told him about everything?" Ghost stops a few feet from Hazel, arms crossing over his chest.

"I did; including our relationship. The only thing is, is that I didn't pick him… I want to be his friend, and we still are, but he's not the man I love…" Hazel runs a hand over his mask, tears stinging the back of his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Ghost grabs Hazel's chin and forces him to look at the other man.

"I was afraid…" Hazel sighs, "I know I should have told you sooner but I didn't… I'm sorry…"

"You're sorry?" Ghost is becoming infuriated, moving away from Hazel, chest throbbing in pain. "I don't remember the last time I cried myself to sleep, thinking you had picked him then to find him heartbroken… Do you have any idea how I felt when you walked away?" He throws his arms in the air, turning is back to Hazel, trying but failing to fight the tears now running down his face.

"I couldn't walk into that conversation being happy… He doesn't deserve that… I wanted to talk to him first but when I was cornered by you I panicked. I didn't know what I was doing but I knew how much the situation sucked…" Hazel slips a hand under his mask to rest over his lips, trying to fight back a sob. "I don't know how to ask forgiveness or what I should do…"

Ghost looks back to see Hazel's shoulders shaking violently, hearing strangled gasps muffled by his hand. In that moment he thinks back to a night he was lying beside Hazel in bed. He had woken from another nightmare and was trying to hold back his sobs so not to wake him. Ghost remembered the feelings wanting to burst through his chest as he grabbed Hazel to him, comforting him, kissing the top of his head, whispering that it'll be alright. Sometimes Hazel could recover quickly and would fall back asleep, others he would cry for an hour, soaking Ghost's chest but the man didn't care. He would hold the man to him, thinking about his own nightmares and knowing how awful it was. Then when Hazel would finally calm down, left sniffling and clinging to Ghost's chest, Ghost would give him a tender kiss, a loving kiss, before falling asleep together. And as he looked at Hazel, trying to hold back his tears, Ghost couldn't help the overpowering love he had felt then swelling in him now. Trying to hold back his own tears he quickly closes the distance between them wrapping his arms around the smaller man, holding him against his chest. Taking comfort in feeling Hazel's arms slip around his waist, hands clinging to his back, Ghost breathes out in a silent relief.

"I could never stay mad at you." Ghost whispers against Hazel's ear, feeling his own tears falling down again. Not wanting to deal with a soaked mask he leans back, only enough to pull his mask off then Hazel's mask.

The man blinks, shocked at the sudden rush of air hitting his face then whimpers into the feel of Ghost's lips pressing against his. Slowly his eyes close, sighing as he feels Ghost's arms wrap back around him. It's comforting to him to feel the strong grip holding him in place, a thumb gently massaging a spot on his back. Ghost mumbles against his lips, and when he pulls back, looking up quizzically the man smiles and repeats himself.

"I don't ever want to be without you."

Hazel smiles, cheeks flushed a bright red, "I wouldn't want it any other way."

Ghost leans in, closing the distance between theirs lips for a few more moments before reluctantly pulling away, "I should get going, Soap is probably looking for me."

"I think that's Roach screaming for your help." Hazel chuckles lightly, faintly hearing his friend calling for Ghost in the distance. "I should go find Snow; Captain doesn't want us far apart."

Ghost leans in again giving Hazel a small kiss before nodding, leading the man out of the back room, "I'll see you when I get back." He hands Hazel his mask before pulling his back on.

"Stay frosty." Hazel kisses Ghost's cheek through their masks and they split, Ghost going to Roach while Hazel finds Snow.

The man grins when Hazel pops up, body more relaxed than before, "You finally talk to him?"

Hazel furrows his brows, feeling the blush on his cheeks, "Shut up."

Snow laughs at his friend's embarrassment, "Go for a run?"

"Now you're talking my language." Hazel grins, patting a hand on Snow's shoulder and the two walk to the training area.

"Hey! What are you guys up to?" The two men turn and see Ozone and Scarecrow approaching with Dragon and Reaper in tow. The two look slightly reluctant but it makes Hazel smile, Snow waving happily beside him.

"We're gonna go run some laps, you guys want to join?"

Dragon looks at Hazel like he's lost his mind, "This is a time where both Cap and Ghost are gone, no training in the morning and you want to train in your free time?"  
"Archer is here still, isn't he?" Reaper asks, the four men stopping and the six of them stand in a circle. "I'm sure he'll still run training for the rest of us."

"I doubt it." Scarecrow snorts, "He's been dying for a day to sleep in and rest. I'm sure he's gonna take advantage of this chance. Not like any of the guys are going to complain."

"Why Archer?" Snow leans forward on his toes, hands clasped behind his back.

"When Cap is gone Ghost is in charge but when they're both gone typically Royce is in charge but he's going on the mission too so that leaves Archer in charge." Reaper says, pulling out and lighting a cigarette. "Anyone?"

Hazel shakes his head, "I still want to go running, and probably best I don't smoke before I do."

"You're insane." Ozone chuckles, "But how about we run the pit?"

"Can we do that?" Snow leans back on his heels, "Maybe we could do it with paintballs again!"

"NO!" Everyone yells in unison, scaring Snow for a moment before he pouts, wanting the chance to redeem himself.

"Aw, come on, why not?"

"Dude, you're asking for pain… Plus it's one thing to train but another to beat ourselves up before a mission." Reaper blows out a puff of smoke in Snow's direction, "But running the course on its own isn't a bad idea, I like it. We're down."

Dragon gives Reaper a horrified look at his friend volunteering them both to join. It takes a moment of stuttering before words properly form, cursing Reaper out.

"What the actual fuck is your god damn fucking problem that you fucking volunteer me for this fucking shit!?"

Reaper laughs, shrugging his shoulders, "I figure it'll be good to kill some time. Get over it man, come on we got nothing better to do and sitting in the REC was growing depressing."

"I'll watch over you guys." Dragon grumbles, "But don't fucking think I'll fucking run it."

Ozone clasps Dragon's shoulder, shaking his head, "Oh you'll run too."

"And we're off like a herd of turtles!" Hazel laughs, ushering the men forward, grinning happily when others decide to later join them.

o0o

"What do we do?"

Everyone is sitting in the mess hall, food forgotten as the news wrecks them. The worst case scenario has happened, Russia has invaded the U.S. A few men were crying, thinking about their family in or around the invasion zones. Snow was one of those men, leant back in his seat with his eyes closed tightly trying to push down his emotions but the tears ran freely.

"We wait." Hazel stands up, turning to look at Archer who's standing at the entrance having just run and informed everyone of the news. "We wait for further orders from Captain MacTavish and we move accordingly."

Scarecrow, Ozone, Reaper, Dragon, and several other members stand up, nodding.

"Captain will know what to do so we just wait. Have you any word from him?" Scarecrow looks at Archer.

The man nods his head, "They're having issues getting out because of the US forces being pulled back to the states to fight off the invasion. Said he has a friend he's calling in for help. For the time being everyone is to be on full alert and await further instructions; something about going to a sub and gulag."

Scarecrow nods, looking over everyone, "You heard the man, full alert! Get your asses in gear, check your weapons, and be ready because we're at war!"

Everyone seems to snap out of the daze they're in, rushing to do as Scarecrow said. When most are gone, a few stuck at their seats, faces in their hands a deafening silence descends over the room. One of those still behind is Archer who walks over to Scarecrow, frowning. Scarecrow shrugs, waving to the seat beside him. Archer takes the seat, giving Hazel and the others still sitting a small smile.

"Are you sure you should have told them that?" Archer looks at Scarecrow.

"Having them sitting and thinking about it won't do them any good. Give them something to do, like checking their gear and they'll be fine. We just have to wait for Cap to contact us about what to do next."

Hazel finishes his food, glancing over at Snow who has yet to open his eyes back up, "Alex?"

"My family…"

Ozone stands up addressing Snow and the rest of the men still in the mess hall, "A lot of our families are there. I understand you're from Texas, right Snow? Well I'm from Virginia, the same place that's getting bombed to hell. There's nothing we can do when we're across the ocean but do our jobs. Crying about it isn't going to fix it." He turns on his heels and exits.

"Damn him…" Snow sniffles, rubbing a hand over his face angrily, "Fuck!"

"Alex?" Hazel stands up as his friend does, following him as he goes to ready himself for war, trying his best to keep his emotions in check.

"Archer?" The man turns to see Toad approaching, "You should get ready as well and get back to the debrief room incase Cap or Shepherd call."

Archer nods, moving to follow his partner, the rest of the men doing the same.

Not long later they hear from MacTavish, they're to meet up with him at a sub somewhere in the Pacific. The guys load up and before they know it several of them are on the sub, others waiting not far away to strike the gulag. On the carrier, Snow is sitting with his legs crossed, checking his gun for the umpteenth time with Hazel standing not to far away checking his own gun out of nothing else to do. Several other members are nearby, some doing the same, others sitting and focusing their minds for their coming mission. Once the first team dealt with enemies and rescued hostages at an oil-rig they were to group up and hit the gulag. Their objective is the rescue of some Prisoner #627 that they couldn't get any information on just who it really is. It didn't matter, Makarov wanted the guy so they were going to steal and dangle him to draw out the bastard. People were dying left and right back at home and the men wanted nothing better than to prove Makarov was behind it all. Have him hang for his crimes; though if you asked the men they would answer with wanting to make the scum suffer a long agonizing death.

"You ready?"

Hazel shrugs his shoulders at Echo, "Yeah, it's the waiting here until we can move further up that's bugging the shit out of me."

Echo snorts, "We're soldiers, time is something we always beg for more of but when we're given it we want it to disappear."

Hazel looks out over the water, "Too true…"

"I hear back at base Jester is taking it hard, losing his best friend." Echo sets his rifle beside his leg as he leans back against a wall.

"It's always hard losing someone." Hazel glances down to see Snow has gone still, staring down at his gun absentmindedly. "But several good men died in South America; don't forget them by feeling bad about one man. Chemo, Royce, Driver, and many other men lost their lives and we're no where near the end of it all…"

"James!" Echo is shaking his head as a man in a Navy uniform runs over waving his hand through the air.

"Do you feel anything?" Echo asks quietly before the soldier stops next to Snow, glancing down at him with an eyebrow lifted.

"I push it down." Hazel turns to the soldier, "Hey Scott, how's it going?"

"I heard over the chatter your brother is leading a force to strike back on the home front. I thought he was out because of his knee?" Scott asks.

"What do you mean he's leading a force? The dumbass **is** out because of his fucking knee!"

"Scarecrow!" Scott yelps in surprise as Scarecrow appears at his side, growling.

"I can't believe him!"

"It's just like him though." Hazel sighs, "He'll be fine."

"Like when he got a bum knee rescuing you? He shouldn't be out there, much less leading anyone!" Scarecrow groans, putting a hand over his eyes, "He's a General! He shouldn't be out there fighting but helping form plans at his desk!"

Scott chuckles, though he quickly stops from a glare shot by both Hazel and Scarecrow, "Well it's just, most guys yell for the higher-ups to step into the fight but you two want him out of it."

"He's my only brother I got left, I don't want to lose him too." Hazel lifts the bottom of his mask to scratch his chin, "Damn it…"

"And he's my husband; I can be fucking pissed off that he's being stupid and reckless!" Scarecrow puts his hand out, palm up, in front of Hazel.

"Whatever but don't blame me if he bitches you out." Hazel rolls his eyes, giving Scarecrow a cigarette and lighter.

"It's not like he's quit." Scarecrow grumbles, taking a large intake of nicotine.

Hazel lights his own before offering one to the other three men. Echo and Snow take one but Scott waves it off, "What, you finally quit?"

"Nah, but I'm picky about what I do smoke." Scott pulls out his own pack. "So you guys are gonna go into the gulag, huh?

"Yeah, huge force to clear things up topside then two teams will be going in to find this prisoner." Hazel takes a drag on his cigarette, enjoying for a short moment the feel of the ocean breeze, the sound of water crashing against the carrier.

"What's so important about this guy?" Scott asks, crossing an arm over his chest.

"He's going to lead us to the bastard behind all this bullshit." Snow growls, speaking for the first time since they'd left the base. He stands up, leaning against the wall beside Hazel, angrily chewing the filter of his cigarette.

"You're gonna ruin that thing." Hazel comments, looking off at the jets being prepared, "Are you guys planning on hitting the gulag the same time as us?"

Scott shrugs, "I just know I'm supposed to be ready when they tell me."

"Have you heard any news about my sister?" Hazel snuffs out his cigarette, lighting a second one.

"I last heard she was stateside so I would expect her to be helping out." Scott snuffs his own out, not lighting a second.

Next to Hazel Snow asks for a second, having destroyed the filter to his first. Hazel sighs, rolling his eyes at his friends actions but gives him a second, telling him not to ruin this one. Snow shrugs his shoulders and smokes quietly. Scarecrow is shifting from foot to foot before excusing himself, going to learn more about where Hazel's siblings are. Echo stays where he is, quietly thinking about everything that is happening around them.

Hazel takes a small comfort in the quietness, looking back out over the water, silently hoping to see some sea life pop up. After awhile of staring out he looks over to where helicopters are getting prepared to take off. Patting Snow's shoulder he nods in their direction. Snow, understanding, grabs his gun and moves to the helicopters, face devoid of any emotion. Several members of the task force follow suit, ready to get a move on and help in any way they can, Echo following to speak with Midnight.

"Guess it's getting close to show time." Scott looks out over the ship and all the firepower on the jets and helicopters, "We're going to blow that place to fucking kingdom come. I just hope we don't have to shoot it while ya'll are still there."

"Agreed," Hazel shakes Scott's hand, "take care."

"You too man." Scott moves in the direction of a jet he'll be piloting, Hazel to the helicopters with the rest of the men.

The men climb into the helicopters without much chatter, silently preparing themselves as they move forward, two helicopters not full to capacity to take on MacTavish and his team at the oil-rig.

o0o **(The next part is from game, including everything being said by the characters. Know that I am changing things up due to my own original characters. Please enjoy. ****J**

"Sixth Fleet's mopping up. Time to move in. Long history of this building. Not much of it pretty. Started out as a castle. With an actual dungeon. Built to withstand any siege. Building survived every brutal winter. The occupants… they weren't so lucky. The Monastery. Didn't survive the purges. Over the last century it's played host to anyone the government didn't want, but couldn't kill. Place is filled with living casualties of the last war… which I swear I thought we'd won. But I suppose it's all a day at the races: you back the losing horse, and this is where you end up. Six-Two-Seven is the piece of meat Makarov wants, so let's cut him loose." MacTavish lets out a small breath, looking out over the group of Little Birds carrying members of Task Force 141 including members of the Navy. "Thirty seconds."

"Hornet Two-One, this is Jester One-One, flight of two F-15s, four HARMs for the section. Standby for SEAD, over."

"Solid copy, Jester. Go get 'em." Hornet Two-One answers.

"Good tone. Good tone. Fox-Three, Fox-Three." Jester One-One says before the F-15s fly past and fire down destroying a radio station. "Good kill. Good kill. Hornet Two-One, you're clear all the way. Good luck. Out."

"Hornet Two-One copies."

"Two-Two copies all." Hornet Two-Two calls.

"Two-Three, solid copy." Hornet Two-Three adds, the others following suit as they approach the gulag.

"Two coming in hot." Hornet Two-Two says.

"Roger." Hornet Two-One answers.

Hornet Two-Two calls out 'guns guns guns' as it fires its guns taking out a watch tower. Instantly the rest of the gulag is alerted of their presence. Russians start pouring out taking up positions to fight back the Navy and the Task Force.

"Two-Two, Two-One. Good effect on target." Hornet Two-One calls out.

"All snipers, this is MacTavish, standby to engage. Stabilize."

"Roger." Hornet Two-One says as the pilot stabilizes.

"All snipers – clear to engage." MacTavish calls, Hornet Two-One hovering in place as they take out foot-mobiles.

Not far away Hazel and Snow are doing the same, their own bird hovering in place.

"Shift right." MacTavish tells his bird; Hornet Two-One says 'shifting' as they move to hover to the right of the next tower.

At the same time Hazel's bird shifts to fire down at a different tower and they hear MacTavish call out stabilize.

"Ready." Hornet Two-One says the same time Hazel's bird stabilizes for them to fire. Bursts leave their guns as they fire down on the enemy, crates exploding full of live ammunition.

"On target." Worm calls out over the radio.

"Shift right." MacTavish orders Hornet Two-One's pilot.

"Shifting." Hornet Two-One answers.

"I see four hostiles on the next tower!" MacTavish yells, the bird stabilizing but before the snipers can engage an F-15 fires on the tower as it passes Hornet Two-One.

"Oh shit…" Hazel curses under his breath watching the draft from the jet force Two-One to wobble.

"Hang on!" Hornet Two-One's pilot yells cursing under his breath to get the thing under control before it stabilizes to his relief.

"Shepherd! Get those fighters to cease fire immediately! That was too close!" MacTavish yells into the radio.

"I'll try to buy you some time. One man in a gulag doesn't mean much to the Navy at this point." Shepherd answers.

"Bloody Yanks! I thought they were the good guys!" Ghost yells out in protest.

"Fucking jackasses, they know we're here. So what, they're trying to kill us too now?" Hazel growls out, readying his gun to shoot down another enemy.

"Yeah!" Snow pumps a fist into the air, flipping the bird in the general direction of where the F-15 had gone.

"Ghost cut the chatter. Stay frosty. That goes for you too Hazel, Snow." MacTavish snaps making all three silent not wanting to piss the captain off.

Hazel changes his attention to the gulag as his bird moves in, watching as Hornet Two-One drops down.

"Second wave going in, standby. Two-One touching down on target. Team One is deployed."

"Go! Go! Go!" MacTavish waves his hand forward as Team One moves, engaging the enemy.

As soon as Two-One is clear Hazel and the rest of his team are deployed, quickly following behind MacTavish in the assault.

Hazel positions himself behind a jeep, firing through the broken windows taking down hostiles. To his right, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Roach taking out men on a second floor balcony.

"Nice shot clumsy." He jokes, earning a fuck you and a laugh from Roach.

"Cover me." Roach says and Hazel shifts position, Snow taking his previous position, and covers Roach as he moves forward behind a 2K12 Kub along with Ghost and several other Task Force members.

"Two-One is in position for gun run." Hornet Two-One calls over the radio.

"Copy Two-One, lasing target on the second floor!" MacTavish answers.

"Two-One copies, got a tally on six tangos, inbound hot."

"Reaper, target at your twelve o'clock." MacTavish leans forward from his position at the back of the Kub just as Hornet Two-One takes out tangos with its guns.

"Copy that, take the shot. He's out of my line of sight." Reaper calls back.

"Tango down." Snow shoots Hazel a grin, covering his team mate as he too moves forward.

"Tangos by the barbed wire fence, be careful." Two-One says after its guns cool down.

"Copy that Two-One, engaging." Reaper cooks a frag grenade before tossing it behind him, waiting for the startled cries before coming out of cover.

Just as he fires Hazel appears at his side and the two starts taking out tangos one by one before ducking back under cover.

"Contacts to the Southwest." Ghost calls, Snow answering with bursts from his gun.

"Echo, stay close."

Echo grunts in response taking out tangos as Snow and him move forward together taking out tangos, "Tangos are breaking from cover ahead of you Hazel."

"Roger that." Hazel shifts in his position, barely peeking out from his cover to fire on the enemies.

"Be mindful of those guys hiding behind that wall there." MacTavish ducks down. "Reloading."  
"Eyes on target." Roach moves forward, slamming his back against the building wall and leaning forward ever so slightly to take down the enemy, "Tangos down."

"Cover me." Reaper pats Hazel's shoulder before bolting out from cover to the small wall under the barbed wire.

"Roger that." Hazel takes a knee, shooting down tangos, ducking down only once Reaper is safely back under cover.

"Tangos on that forward building, rooftop." Echo taps Hazel's shoulder and he moves forward, firing up at the building.

"Tangos falling down like flies." He hits the small wall, kneeing next to Reaper.

"The entrance is up ahead, keep moving!" MacTavish moves past them in his forward advance, waving them on. They move with him, keeping close to the ground as the rest of the team slowly moves forward, taking cover behind what they can. "Hostiles on the third floor! Roach, use your M203!"

"Tangos down!" Roach calls out after a moment, running forward to follow the team.

"Entrance is right there!" Reaper calls from his forward position and they enter the gulag.

"This is it! We go in, grab Prisoner 627, and get out! Check your corners! Let's go!" MacTavish takes the lead down the steps.

Ghost, Worm, Hazel, Snow, Reaper, and Echo follow behind, more following while a small group stay to keep the entrance secured.

"Don't be shy now; it's only dark and brooding." Reaper grins, holding is gun in position.

"Oh yeah, nothing to worry about except everyone trying to kill us." Hazel rolls his eyes as he moves forward down the steps.

"Contact, front!" Ghost calls as they quickly dispatch of a small group of tangos at the bottom of the stairs.

Hazel moves forward through a grated hallway, taking down tangos in a room up ahead.

"That's the control room up ahead! I can use it to find the prisoner!" Ghost calls as they move as a team taking control of the room, a grenade forcing them to move back.

"Grenade!" Hazel yells out as he throws his own grenade after letting it cook. "Take that stupid motherfucker!"

"So violent." Snow jokes, the team moving forward and making sure the room is completely clear.

Ghost looks over the computer system they have set up, pulling out a seat, "I'll tap into their system and look for the prisoner! It's gonna take some time!"

"Copy that! Roach, we're on cell duty! Let's move!" MacTavish motions forward with his hand gesturing and they set forth, other members of the task force following them.

"Guess we got guard duty." Hazel sets up at the exit down to the cells, "Just say the word and your friendly guardian angel will save you."

"I feel so safe." Roach snorts, moving forward with MacTavish.

"I got the entrance." Reaper kneels at the entrance, gun trained forward.

"Second guardian angel in place," Snow sets up next to Hazel taking down targets as the team moves forward. "Ready when you are."

"All right, I'm patched in. I'm tracking your progress on the security cameras." Ghost says from his position at the computer.

"Copy that! Do you have the location of the Prisoner 627?" MacTavish calls back over the radio.

"Negative, but I've got a searchlight tracking hostiles on your floor. That should make your job easier." Ghost replies; typing away on the computer keyboard searching for the prisoner.

"Roger that! Stay sharp! The prisoner may be in one of these cells!"

"Cell clear." Echo clears a cell before taking down more tangos down the hall.

"More tangos by that cell door." MacTavish moves forward, firing.

"Targets acquired." Hazel and Snow lock in on their respect targets taking down tangos giving the team a chance to move further up.

"Ghost, we've hit a security door, get it open!" MacTavish yells out.

"Workin' on it…" Ghost types furiously, growling in frustration trying to get the door open, "This hardware is ancient!"

MacTavish sighs as he takes down more tangos, "Ghost, you opened the wrong door!"

"Roger, standby… Got it!"

"That's better, let's go!" MacTavish moves forward, firing.

"Roach, cover me." Echo moves forward, patting Roach's shoulder as he fires.

"Friendly moving in." Reaper points his gun to the side as a team of four men move through and join MacTavish's team.

"Friendly on your 6!" One guy calls out as they reach MacTavish and help take out more tangos.

"Moving up, Nomad, cover me." A man moves forward.

Nomad covers him as Hazel and Snow continue supporting from their position before the others are out of sight.

"Cell clear." Nomad steps back out of a cell, firing on advancing tangos.

"Same here, clear." Another member calls.

"Cell 4-D is clear." Echo calls, moving forward.

"Shit…" Roach moves forward, firing in controlled bursts.

"Tango in that cell up ahead."

"Out of my line of sight."

Hazel jumps down the short way to the walkway the others are on, positioning his rifle before firing, "Tango down boys."  
"Show off." Roach and MacTavish toss frag grenades at the same time.

"I have to before I can't follow from this position. Careful, tangos at your 10 o'clock. I don't have a clear shot." Hazel shifts forward in his kneeling position.

"Tango down." Roach moves forward, cursing as a body falls back onto him. "Poet is down!"

Echo moves to Roach's aide, "You okay Roach?"

"Yeah…" Roach crouches behind cover, "Let's get these bastards!"

"Roach, stay frosty!" Hazel takes another tango down before having to retreat back up to the control room, bullets whizzing by too close for comfort.

"Can't get a shot, he's out of my line of shot."

"Jesus…"

"He's in my line of shot. Tango down."

"Talk to me Ghost… These cells are deserted!" MacTavish looks inside an empty cell before moving forward.

Ghost opens a door ahead of MacTavish's team, licking his lips under his mask, "Got it! Prisoner 627's been transferred to the east wing! Head through the armory in the center – that's the fastest way there."

"Roger that! Squad, head for that armory down there! Move!" MacTavish calls out to the group, taking down more tangos as they move to the armory and out of sight.

"See anything you like?" Hazel hears MacTavish ask, assuming they're now successfully at the armory.

Ghost's stomach drops as he types away on the computer, cursing under his breath, "Bad news mate. I'm tracking three, no, four hostile squads converging on your position!"

"I can hear them coming… let's go! We're too exposed!" MacTavish yells to the rest of his team.

Snow bites his lip hard, moving back to Reaper to watch the front entrance as Ghost continues cursing under his breath trying to open the other door to the armory but it locks and won't budge.

"Ghost! Open the door!" MacTavish calls, the sound of the door trying to open but getting stuck coming over the radio.

"Bloody hell, they've locked it from the hard line. I'll have to run a bypass." Ghost continues typing away while the other three around him keep watch, Hazel taking down anyone fool enough to approach. Snow and Reaper work on taking down enemies through the grated walls at the lower levels.

"Too late! They're already here!" MacTavish yells over gunfire.

"Nomad down!" A man yells.

"Be advised – you've got more tangos heading your way." Ghost warns.

"What the fuck is wrong with these bloody wankers!" Roach curses, quickly followed by the sound of his gun going off.

"We're gonna need more cover – grab a riot shield!" MacTavish yells, followed by more gun fire and curses, explosions from grenades.

"Shit…" Snow whispers under his breath listening to the fight over the radio. "Think we should head down?"

"We can't leave Ghost unprotected. They can handle themselves." Hazel takes down a small group heading towards the control room. "Don't take your eyes off the entrances."

"Copy." Snow looks back out, taking down tangos on the floors below through the grated floor again.

"Open the door!" MacTavish yells over the radio making the men flinch at the slight panic in the man's voice as they're gunned down.

"Almost there!" Ghost calls back almost desperately, "Routing through the auxiliary circuit…"

"Go! Go! Go!" MacTavish yells, "Use your riot shield to draw their fire Roach!"

"Tango down!"

"Roach!"

"Target down at 10 o'clock."

"Cover me!"

"Copy!"

"I'm hit!" Echo yells, sounding like he's choking on something.

"Damn it!" Roach yells out.

"Target at your 6." MacTavish calls out.

"Understood." Hazel takes down another tango trying to get to the control room, "They're really starting to try and get us. Snow, get over here!"

"Moving!" Snow taps Reaper's shoulder before bolting across the room to Hazel's side and taking up position.

"Changing mag."

"Covering."

"Moving up."

"Tango down."

"More coming up."

"Ghost here. Recommend you bypass the lower floors by rappelling out that window."

"Copy that! Roach, follow me!" MacTavish answers.

"Captain MacTavish, last floor clear. We'll link up with you at the bottom." A man calls over the radio, "We got Echo."

"The camera feed in solitary confinement is dead. The power must be down in that section." Ghost slams a fist on the table startling the men around him but they keep sharp.

"Roger that. Squad, switch to night vision… Check these cells for stragglers." MacTavish is calm despite the fire over the radio, more men moving through the control room to give MacTavish's team support.

"This one's empty."

"This one's empty, too."

"Clear."

"Clear."

There's a large explosion causing the men in the room to glance around at each other, unsure of what just happened.

"Was that the Navy?" Snow frowns, "The fuck…"

"Shepherd, what the hell was that? Get the navy to cease fire!" MacTavish yells.

"The Navy isn't in a talking mood right now. Standby. Bravo Six- they've agreed to stop firing for now. Keep going, I'll keep you posted. Out." Shepherd replies coolly.

"Druid, there's a tango behind that pipe."

"I don't have a shot."

There's an explosion and MacTavish calls out, "Go! Go! Go! Roach, more tangos behind those pipes up ahead!"

"Tangos down!" Roach calls back proudly.

"Man down."

"Target neutralized."

"Contact 12 o'clock."

"Copy, target acquired."

Hazel chews his lip watching down the sight of his rifle, listening as Ghost talks into his radio.

"The old shower room's about thirty feet ahead on your left. You'll have to breach the wall to get in."

"Roach – plant the breaching charge on the wall, we're taking a shortcut." MacTavish orders Roach.

Hazel steps aside allowing allies to walk back out of the gulag, bodies of their comrades being taken up; his breath hitches as he sees Echo's limp form, blood dripping from his lips.

"Fuck…"

"Stay focused." A man pats Hazel's shoulder as they continue moving.

"Contact, 10 o'clock."

"Spread out."

"Moving.

"Tango down."

Hazel hears more chatter as MacTavish's team moves forward, cringing every time he hears that someone has gone down.

"Hostiles on the second floor! Take them out!" MacTavish yells.

"Got it!" Roach answers back.

"Heavy assault troops up ahead! Don't attack them head on! Move quickly and hit them from the side! Cook your grenades to detonate behind them!" MacTavish yells, quickly followed by the sounds of explosions and more gun fire and chatter. "Use the lockers for cover!"

"They're breaking for cover!"

"Roach!"

"Moving."

"Hostiles moving between pillars."

"Hostiles at 3 o'clock."

"Warlock, hostiles at your 2 o'clock."

"Yeah I see him."

"Tango down."

"Grenade!"

"Move up!"

"Tango down."

"Frag out!"

"Grenade, move!"

"Moving."

"I'm heading for that hole in the far end of the showers! Follow me! Let's go!" MacTavish calls out, followed by an explosion before he's heard yelling, "Go! Go! Go!"

"Tango down."

"Following down."

"Ghost, we're in the old tunnel system heading south-southwest." MacTavish calls out over the radio.

"Ok. Keep going along that tunnel." Ghost types away at the computer.

After a moment MacTavish talks again, "Talk to me Ghost… I don't want to be down here when those ships start firing again."

"Same here… the bloody fools." Roach snorts, "We're allies, aren't we?"

"Keep going, you're almost there." Ghost begins tapping his foot. "I'm detecting two heat signatures- one of them should be Prisoner 627."

There's a loud explosion followed by a grunt of pain from Roach before MacTavish is yelling, "Drop it!"

A raspy voice comes over the radio, "Soap?"

"Price? ... This belongs to you, sir." MacTavish's voice comes over the radio.

Up in the control room Hazel feels like he's been punched in the gut, all wind knocked out of his lungs.

"Who's Soap?" Worm's voice comes out over the radio.

Explosions start to shake the building and Hazel hears MacTavish yell, "Come on, we gotta get outta here! Move! Move!"

"He's right, come on!" Ghost steps away from the computer, tapping Hazel's shoulder and the team starts to move out.

"Bravo Six- be advised, they've started the bombardment early! Get the hell outta there now!" Shepherd yells over the radio.

"Come on!" Ghost grabs Hazel's arm, guiding the stunned man to where a Pave Low is waiting for them. "Snap out of it Hazel!"

Hazel glances at Ghost, slipping his hand down to Ghost's, tightening his grip before releasing it, nodding that he's okay again. Ghost nods back, frowning under his mask as they make their way across the open area and onto the Pave Low. It immediately lifts off, circling around the gulag to the opened tunnel that the others should be running to.

"Go! Go! Go!" MacTavish yells over the radio, directed towards the men he's currently running with. "There's the chopper! Get ready to jump!" There's another explosion and they hear their captain is yelling again, "Go back! Go back! We'll find another way out! This way! This way!"

"It's a dead end!" Worm yells out.

Hazel watches the smoke rise from what used to be an open tunnel before the Pave Low pulls up, circling above the smoke.

"Six-Four, where the hell are you, over?" MacTavish yells.

"Bravo Six, there's too much smoke, I can't see you, I can't see you-" The Pave Low pilot calls back, continues to try and find MacTavish but due to the amount of smoke from the bombing he's unable to spot them.

"Roach is down! Roach!" Hazel snaps his head to the side, eyes wide as Ghost looks back at him.

"I'm okay…" Roach groans, voice strained over the radio.

"Whatever you're gonna do Soap, do it fast!" Price calls out, heard through Roach's radio.

"Bravo Six, I see your flare. SPIE rig on the way." The Pave Low pilot calls as a red flare is shot up from the collapsing gulag.

"Let's go! Let's go!" Price is again heard through Roach's radio.

"Hook up! Go! Go!" MacTavish yells out.

"Hang on!" Price yells and moments later Hazel watches as four men are pulled up from the rubble.

"You look like you're seeing a ghost, literally." Snow looks past Ghost to see Hazel looking down at the men being pulled up into the Pave Low.

Hazel doesn't say anything as MacTavish helps Roach sit down, dusting him off.

"Are you okay?" MacTavish kneels in front of Roach.

"Yeah… Just want some water and a nap." Roach sighs, leaning back with his eyes closed.

MacTavish chuckles before turning to see his former captain watching him with a hard look, "Price…"

"It's been a long time Soap." Price steps forward, his old pistol resting in his hands. It felt so comfortable to feel its weight again. After so many years forced to sit and do nothing but be subjugated to whatever his jailers forced on him, having something be comfortable was like heaven. To top it off, before him stood his protégé, Soap, and he couldn't feel more proudly than he did now looking the man over. "You're a Captain now."

"Aye, of Task Force 141, these are my men." MacTavish gestures at Roach, Worm, Ghost, Hazel, Snow, and other fresh men from base sitting in the Pave Low.

"A skull mask… Look like a funny bunch. And that guy's name was Roach? What kind of name is Roach?" Price gestures to a now fast asleep Roach.

"The bug is hard to kill." MacTavish grins proudly before waving a hand at Ghost to come forward. "This is Lieutenant Simon Riley, or just Ghost."

Price looks Ghost over before shaking the man's hand, "Captain John Price, or just Captain Price. Who are the rest of these men? I don't recognize any of them."

MacTavish points to each man in turn as he introduces them to Captain Price, "And one of the sniper teams, Snow and Hazel."

"Hazel?" Price's eyes grow wide with surprise for a moment before it disappears.

"I'd think you'd freak out about the name Snow over Hazel." MacTavish frowns, confused as Price steps forward to Hazel.

Hazel avoids eye contact, lifting the bottom of his mask to scratch at his chin, resting it above his nose, "Hello Price."

MacTavish frowns even more, about to say something when Price waves a hand at him, stepping closer to take a good look at Hazel, "If you're here, where's Jacob?"

Hazel sighs, "We were told you were dead…" He turns to look at Price pulling out a cigarette that he immediately lights, "But here you are, alive and well…"

"Where's your brother?" Price asks again, lifting a hand to grab Hazel's chin, looking at the scars on his face protruding from under his mask. "What happened?"

"Ambush, I was tortured." Hazel pulls away, "What happened with you? You disappeared and we couldn't find anything on what happened to you."

Price sighs as his hand drops stepping back, "It's complicated."

Hazel pulls his tags up from under his vest, holding them for Price to read, "Jacob and Joseph were with me on the mission."

Price shakes his head as the information sinks in. MacTavish rushes to his side, asking him if he's okay but Price only shakes his head again, putting his head in his hands as he sits down.

"Do you two know each other?" Snow comes up to Hazel, handing him a bottle of water.

Hazel snorts, downing the water greedily, "You've no idea."

"James?" Ghost grabs Hazel's hand in his, frowning under his mask in concern, "Are you okay?"

"I'm sure Price is thirsty and hungry." He waves a hand and Snow produces a bottle of water and an MRE for Price.

The man takes the items, looking up at Hazel as he breathes his cigarette in deeply, "When did this happen?"

"Before I joined this Task Force… We got whipped out, almost entirely. Michael and I are the only brothers left... Eat; I'm sure you don't want to sit down while we younger guys do all the work?"

"Yeah that's not going to happen." Price chuckles, preparing the MRE, "But I'm gonna need more than just this to sustain me."

Snow makes a noise before complying and brining more to Price, "So what's the connection between the two of you?"

Price pauses in his eating to stare at Snow for a moment before going back to what he was doing, "Quite the team you picked Soap."

"Wai-what? I'm still trying to figure out how you and Hazel know each other; he's from the American Marines…" MacTavish frowns. "I don't understand." Price and Hazel look up at the same time at MacTavish and it hits the younger captain, "Wai-what? But… Isn't General Mallet…? What?"

Snow leans forward, curious as MacTavish is trying to process what he's starting to figure out, "I'm lost here too."

"Price is my biological father." Hazel snuffs his cigarette out before sliding down into a lying position. An arm rises to rest across his eyes, his free hand clutching into a fist at his side. He feels someone sit next to him and when the hand tangles their fingers together he peeks to see Ghost looking down at him. He tries to smile before curling up against the man's leg to catch some sleep.

**A/N: I understand the exchange with Hazel and MacTavish is small but then again Soap is pressed for time due to the coming mission. I wanted it to be small to begin with because despite the argument, Soap is the Captain in charge and Hazel will follow him no matter what just like the other members of the Task Force.**

**Also, was that painfully obvious what I was gonna do there at the end? Sorry if it was haha … Anyways, thank you for reading and supporting! There are only a few chapters left! I'm curious how you guys think I should end it? Granted I already have it all planned out so it'll be smooth sailing, no seriously, I just have to write it out and the final chapter is like halfway through. I just have to write the chapter that needs to go in the middle. So two, maybe, MAYBE, three chapters left. Three would probably be hard but then again I did one mission in this chapter and it was around 9 pages. Holy shit, this chapter is just over 18 pages lol! Long ending note, I know sorry, but just want to say thank you again and love you guys! ****J**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: It's a super short chapter compared to the others, I know I'm sorry. It's just a little something about getting to know some of the other task force members and then there's a clash at the end. I hope you like it and I'm so sorry for the late and short update. Just means more short chapters? Maybe? But we're almost at the end so maybe not. Idk. School is killing me right now lol. Enjoy! 3**

"This is pretty boring."

"Would you rather be down there getting shot at?"

"No…" Hazel stares down at his hands, "But I'm worried about Roach. He landed so far off from the others…"

"He'll be fine. He's with Captain Price." MacTavish looks over his shoulder to see the man staring down at his lap. "Look, I'm keeping tabs over the whole thing. And plus, despite what kind of relationship the two of you have isn't going to affect how he treats Roach. He'll take care of him. He did, after all, make me into the man I am today."

"You're very trusting of the guy."

"And you're not."

"Can you blame me, Captain?" Hazel lights a cigarette, "He wasn't around. Too busy off fighting someone, but you know it's not like Mallet was always there but he made the effort. He tried and gave reasons for trust."

MacTavish doesn't say anything more as he listens in on the others throughout the mission. Hazel doesn't really mind, moving towards the back of the plane to check on Dragon. He got pretty banged up but refused to go back and decided to stay. He said it was because he didn't want the guys to worry incase they needed backup. Hazel and Reaper think it's because he hates needles and they'd probably give him a shot.

"I swear, just let me look at your leg. Or at least let me change the bandage." Reaper groans in slight irritation.

"Dude, its fine, it's nothing serious." Dragon huffs while crossing his arms over his chest. "Just give me a fucking cigarette and stop nagging me like mum does."

"Well, mate; your mum will have my head if I don't nag you about it. Plus there's no telling what my mum will do if I don't nag you either." Reaper pulls Dragons right leg forward, ignoring the man protesting in pain.

"Grew up together?" Hazel lights another cigarette before handing it to Dragon.

"Yeah," Dragon pulls on it greedily, "Mums are best friends since they were young. Figured if they had the same sex kids we'd be best friends or if we weren't, we'd get together."

Hazel chuckles, "Join at the same time?"

"No, I was working for my father at our family's restaurant for a year after school. Things were really hard for us and so I worked without pay." Reaper starts cleaning off Dragon's leg.

"That's the same time I joined up. My dad and I never really did see eye to eye and my mum thought it might be a good idea, get away and do something for myself. So, I ended up signing up right out of school." Dragon watches with a pained expression on his face, fighting back the urge to kick out.

"I didn't join up until he came home, smiling as ever but I could see he was struggling. I figured he needed his best friend to come save his sorry ass." Reaper laughs as he finishes wrapping Dragon's leg back up.

"I didn't need your help; you were tired of working there anyways." Dragon snuffs out the butt of his cigarette.

"Yeah, but I still plan to take over if I ever get back home." Reaper sits back, leaning on his hands for support. "What about you Hazel, do you have any plans once you get home?"

"Not really. Maybe see how long I can last, living this life. I can't really see myself doing anything else." Hazel shrugs his shoulders, trying to imagine what life would be outside of this. It's not easy.

"I don't know what I want to do. I mean, Reaper wants to take over the restaurant so maybe I'll help. I mean it is run by our mums so it doesn't seem that off if both sons take over."

"I'm curious, what kind of restaurant?"

"Local cuisine, nothing special really but it's what we grew up around." Reaper absently smiles.

"Yeah, our mums started it back when they first got out of culinary school. That's when they met our dads." Dragon chuckles thinking about the four parents.

"Your fathers are cooks as well?"

"Mine is, but Reaper's runs the front and does a lot of the accounting and pretty much handles the money."

"Yeah, he worked for a bank for awhile but got bored of it when he went into the restaurant and, his words not mine; fell instantly in love with my mum."

"Sounds like a sappy romance story." Hazel laughs aloud, grinning, "Your parents seem like nice people."

"Well unless you're shitty at bussing tables or cleaning the dishes then they get mean real fast." Dragon rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I mean, you did break several dishes, including dropping people's food on the ground." Reaper laughs as his friend grows a light red.

"I tripped!"

"Let me guess, you were tripped by someone?" Hazel laughs.

"That's the story he stuck with for the whole summer until he admitted to me finally that his shoes came untied and stepped on the string." Reaper lights a cigarette, offering one to Dragon.

Hazel grins, nudging Dragon with his elbow, "Could have been worse, maybe."

Reaper laughs with Hazel, nodding in agreement, "It almost was that second summer working there but I saved him. On several occasions actually."

Dragon rolls his eyes, trying to ignore Reaper snickering, "Stupid wanker. A lot of those occasions were because of you."

Reaper is about to chime in when they hear Ghost yelling over the radio about a code black. Hazel jumps up and moves to MacTavish's side, waiting to hear just what's happening. Reaper and the other men still on the plane gather round as well. It's silent, eerily silent before MacTavish jumps into motion about picking up the men on the ground. Ghost is too busy screaming at Price to hear. Thankfully Roach is there and is trying to hold off a fight between the two men, at least until they're evac'd. Then it's fair game, Ghost shoving the older captain asking him what the hell he was thinking.

"Just because you've been locked up for a couple of years don't mean you go and kill thousands of fucking people!" Ghost is fuming, his fists clenched at his sides.

Price's face grows red, finally having enough of this young lieutenant. He grabs Ghost by the collar and slams him to the ground, hard. Ghost grunts out, the wind knocked out of his lungs. Hazel tries to jump in but MacTavish grabs his bicep and keeps the man in place. Back on the floor, Ghost punches Price hard; blood flinging from a now split lip. Price swings down landing a blow on Ghost's nose stunning the man. He takes the opening and lifts Ghost up off the ground before slamming him back down to the ground.

Ghost yells out in surprise then pain, clinging to Price's hand wrapped around his throat. He's running out of what little air he had and every attempt to get Price off of him is failing. He's never been in a fight that was so one-sided with him on the losing end. It was frustrating but he refused to give up. Price noticed this and swung down with his elbow successfully knocking the man out. With his arm free and no longer fighting Price stands up with a sigh, dusting his pants off.

Hazel opens his mouth to say something but decides against it, lifting up Ghost's limp body into his arms. Carefully, he moves to the side of the plane and lays the man down, Reaper coming over asking if they need a med kit. Hazel nods, lifting the man's sacred mask to tend to him.

"You have quite the team." Price comments as they head back to the 141 base.

"You did just send off a nuclear missile. Even I'm questioning your reasons for doing so. I know you have a good one backing it but I don't know what it is." MacTavish folds his arms across his chest, watching Price. "I trust you old man, but you do need to explain yourself. My men don't know you, they trust you because I trust you but it only goes so far."

"I sent it to blow out in space. Cause an EMP over the east coast. It'll give the yanks the advantage they need." Price moves towards the front of the plane.

"Makes sense, but you could have warned them you were going to do that." MacTavish follows, lighting up a cigar. "Hell, could have mentioned it to me at least."

"I didn't think it was necessary. We accomplished our mission in the end. That's what matters Soap. Now we just need to plan for the next move in taking that bastard down."

MacTavish looks back over his men, most keeping their heads down, savoring the down time. A few have their heads up, looking to the two captains. MacTavish wish he knew what they were thinking but could only hope this didn't make them mistrust his old captain. He had a way about things that most might not agree with but he got the job done. He put his men's' lives ahead of his own and wasn't afraid to look like the bad guy for the time being. He has his mind set on ending this war and he planned on doing what needed to be done to do so.

**A/N: Holy shit, he knocked Ghost the fuck out... 0.0 Hazel is not a happy camper and man does he want to beat the shit out of Price but he holds back. He's more worried about Ghost than his father.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I am acting as if Operation Kingfish, the short fan made prequel that Activision funded, did not happen. I meant to mention this before, but this is why Price had no idea who Roach and Ghost were. If I'd taken OK into this story, he would have already known the two men. Also, I'm so so so so so sorry for the really long delay for this next chapter but things have been crazy. Final exams, losing jobs, and just life. Life man, it's harsh. Anyways, enjoy!**

"So what are we going to do?" Hazel grumbles, leaning back against the barracks wall.

"We do our job." Ghost breathes in before blowing out a large cloud of smoke, arm falling to his lap leaving the cigarette between his lips. "Soap is talking with Price and Shepherd about our next move."

"Yeah, but I'm worried." Hazel turns his head, arms testing on his bent knees. "I've been avoiding my old man too… I don't know what to say to him."

"I'm not the guy to ask advice about dad's. I couldn't stand mine." Ghost lifts his hand back up, breathing in deeply before offering the cigarette to Hazel. The man refuses and Ghost puts it back between his lips.

Hazel looks down at his shaking hands. They hadn't stopped shaking since they had been on the plane. He couldn't calm himself. Seeing his dad, the relief but pain it brought up; the panic. Something wasn't good. Some kind of trap but they didn't have a choice but go in. If they didn't, Makarov would get away.

The cigarette between Ghost's fingers was dying out and with a frown he lifts it to his lips and takes a drag. "I don't want to lose you. I've lost so much else already."

A hand wraps around his free left hand, its warmth comforting. "I never intend to let you go."

"What about when we shower? Going to hold my hand then too?" Ghost lifts the corner of his mouth, turning his head to give Hazel a crooked grin.

Hazel lifts his head and can't help the small smile that tugs lightly at his lips, "Well, you stink like hell so I'd let go then, just so you can get scrubbed down. I mean, I thought there was a dead animal near us or something."

"Ouch." Ghost snuffs the cigarette out and stands up with a groan, "Come on. Maybe a shower can help stop your shaking and loosen us up. My body is aching like a whore."

"Can't argue with that." Hazel takes Ghost's outstretched hand and stands up, dusting himself off before walking into the barracks towards the showers.

o0o

A gruff voice called out, welcoming him inside the office. MacTavish is sitting in a chair opposite Price who's claimed the desk back. The pair of them look at Hazel as he cautiously enters the room. MacTavish stands up, answering Hazel's salute before disappearing to let the two men talk.

"I didn't expect you to come see me." Price stands up and salutes Hazel who had left his hand up firmly to his forehead.

"I didn't expect to find myself here either but I decided to try. But also because Ghost wasn't giving the best advice to deal with this... You..."

"Hmm, the lieutenant, right?" Price scratches his chin as he eases back into the seat. He looked better than earlier; now in fresh clothes, cleaned from a shower, and his beard cut save for his iconic mustache. Hazel could smell the soap, he must have used a whole bar. And the coffee, the smell of it was in the air but the pot was now empty. He must be wired on the stuff but it was his favorite thing and Hazel was sure MacTavish was making sure Price was happy. He'd heard the two had been very close before, MacTavish working under Price for awhile in Bravo Team.

"Yes sir, Ghost is MacTavish's XO for the Task Force."

Price nods his head, waving his hand to the now empty seat but Hazel stays standing, "We have a lot to catch up on."

"You could say that." Price leans back in his seat, folding his hands in his lap. "Where do we start?"

"I was captured and put in the Gulag." Price scrunches his brow, "I've been there ever since. Surviving however I can. Constantly trying to find some way out."

"Everyone thought you were dead…" Hazel shifts his weight from one foot to the other, "No one could find a single thread to follow…"

"Did you try?" Price looks up at Hazel, his expression revealing no emotions.

The question, the meaning behind it, makes Hazel's face bright red with anger. He wants to imply that he didn't try and find his father? His fists clench at his sides, trying to keep from attacking the older man physically. It didn't stop him from unleashing verbally. "What did you think we were doing! We were dealing with Carcinogen when we caught wind of someone that might know something about where you might be! Jacob and I were running ourselves into the ground trying to find you! You can't understand the days we spent reading over all the information we had. Or the months spent dragging ourselves through the mud, literally! When we got that hint, even though we knew it was probably nothing, we risked our lives to learn something! Jacob nearly lost his left eye when we ran that lead down!" By this point of his yelling he'd slammed his fists down hard on the desk, chest heaving as he tried to breathe. "The next lead we got after that lead us to a Carcinogen base! The same base Jacob and Joseph died trying to bust into but it was a set up! They knew we were looking for any kind of lead about you, and they exploited our weakness; family!" Hazel turns on his heel, punching the wall next to the door frame. He was shaking all over, he could feel it all bubbling over. Exploding inside of him. He didn't think, he just swung his other fist at the wall, feeling the blood drip from the broken skin over his knuckles. "He died, wishing he could have found you! That he made you proud!"

A hand slips around his chest and he's pulled back against a solid chest. "You're hurting yourself."

"You thought we didn't try? We gave everything to find you!" Hazel sends an elbow flying into Price's side but the man doesn't budge.

"I was afraid you would try. Because I didn't want either of you to get hurt…" Price's voice is soft as he lets Hazel go, "I wanted the two of you to keep living."

"How can we live without trying when we have the power to change something!" Hazel whips around and grabs Price's shirt in his fists. "Isn't that what we're doing now? Trying to change something because we have the ability to!"

Price sighs, deflating, sadness filling his eyes. "I don't want you going on this next mission."

"Bullshit! No, fuck you! I'm not letting you go without me!" Hazel removes his hands and pokes Price in the chest with a finger, "Yes you might not have been the best role model but I'm not going to lose you again! Jacob would hate me if I did…"

"So that means it's okay to put yourself in a position where you could die? No!" Price takes his turn to be pissed. "I didn't join up to fight terrorists so my sons would die before me! I signed up to fight and protect them!"

"Price…" Hazel could feel tears welling up behind his eyes as he thought about his late twin. What it felt like to watch him die, the horrible feeling it had left in him. Seeing Joseph die before him but now, now he has his biological father in front of him and he isn't sure how to handle the situation. Jacob was always better when it came to being around Price.

"James, I read the report, everything I could about what happened to you after speaking with MacTavish and Shepherd for our next move. I get things have changed so much. I get that you're a grown man now, but how am I supposed to be okay with you going out there?"

"How can you sit with yourself knowing I could be helping but instead you're forcing me to stay behind?" Hazel angrily wipes at his tears. "How can I sit back when you're going out there? I try and be stoic, and cold, and not show my emotions like you. I try, and granted I succeed some of the time but it doesn't change that I don't know what I'm doing. I've never been good at controlling my anger, but I was good at channeling it into my work. I've been doing that, dad. Ever since Jacob died, I lost myself, but I started to find myself again here. Then I lost my fucking memories! Granted, it wasn't all of them but it happened. I've started to gain them back, but it doesn't change what I've gone through. It doesn't change what kind of man I've become growing up and watching you and Mallet! I'm strong enough to go out there and fight for what I believe in, so I need you to believe in me! To let me do what I can!"

"How!" Price yells, hands opening and closing at his sides, "How am I supposed to be okay with this when I just learned your brother is dead!"

"You're not supposed to be okay with this! But shit happens in this line of work and you, nor I, can run from it!"

There's a knock on the door and both men glare at the head peeking inside; it's MacTavish, "We need to prep and get going."

Price sighs, looking to Hazel, "If you're so hell bent on going, you're coming with me."

Hazel nodded, "Alright. I'll inform Snow."

"You sure?" MacTavish asks, stepping completely into the room.

"He's not gonna want to stay behind so he'll come." Price squeezes Hazel's arm. "Like father, like son. He's a stubborn ass."

"I take that as a compliment." Hazel nods, brows still furrowed with adrenaline pumping through his system from their argument.

"We have an hour before we need to take off. We're taking separate rides, best to go bug the ghost and bug before we leave."

Hazel nods at MacTavish and excuses himself from the room.

o0o

"I'll worry about you." Ghost kisses Hazel's head through his mask, "But I'll trust your dad, I guess. I mean, even though he gave me a heart attack with that missile, I can trust him to keep you safe."

Hazel tightens his arms that are wrapped around Ghost's waist. The other man's are lazily hanging over his shoulders, hands clasped behind his head. They support Hazel's weight when he leans back to look at Ghost, "I don't want you to worry about me. I'm not gonna worry about you, since you're such a badass and all." Hazel can't help but chuckle at his comment, "So just worry about taking care of the bug."

"I will. MacTavish would have my head if I didn't." Ghost pulls back one of his hands and lifts his mask to show a grin."But I'll have his if he doesn't watch over you. But we're both such badasses, it'll be okay."

Hazel grins, lifting up on his toes to give Ghost a kiss. "I'll see you when we get back."

Ghost pulls Hazel closer and holds the kiss for a few moments longer. Hazel can't help the blush that creeps up his neck before Ghost pulls back and checks the straps on Hazel's gear, "Take care."

"You too." Hazel smiles before turning away, pulling his mask down over his face and heading to one Pave Low while Ghost boards another.

o0o

"We have a couple more hours before we touch down."

"What about it?"

"I wanted to know more about what happened while I was gone."

"What more is there to know?"

Price sighs in frustration, chewing on his cigar angrily at Hazel's responses. "Anything would be nice."

Hazel can feel the eyes of a few soldiers inside the Pave Low, Snow beside him trying but failing to look like he wasn't listening intently. So even if he didn't want to share anything, he knew it would lead to an argument and he wanted to avoid one. No good going into a fight when you're too preoccupied about another fight, not in their line of work. That just means people are going to die and that's the bottom line. Sighing with this in mind he leans back, his hands gripping his knees until his knuckles are white. "I went stateside after I was rescued."

Price nods his head slowly, "Your mother?"

Hazel shrugs, "She's gone through a lot, but she's making it… She'll be excited to see you, you know."

"Will she?" Price is skeptical as he puffs on his cigar.

"Yeah." Hazel lights a cigarette and stands up, "She's lost too much. Go speak with her when this is done."

Price looks up to ask Hazel how to even start but the younger man has retreated to the other side of the Pave Low.

"He's a handful." MacTavish comments, nursing his own cigar.

Price rolls his eyes with a shake of his head, "You should have met Jacob; he could make James look like the kindest person ever…" A dark look crosses Price's face for a moment before it disappears, the older man putting all his emotions away for the upcoming fight. Even still, MacTavish catches it and while he knows better than to push the older man for answers, he needs answers as well. Like what exactly happened that caused him to get caught? He looked dead whenever he'd last seen him, falling unconscious after Imran Zakhaev was finally dead.

Things were in pieces when he'd finally woken up, alone. Losing his team had taken it's toll and he'd found nothing that could sooth the pain but to train even harder. He'd even taken up smoking the same cigars as his old captain when watching the horse races wasn't enough. All the while, training harder than he'd ever trained, pushing himself past the limits to go further. But now, he wasn't the only one left from that time in Russia. Now he had his Captain back and it was like the biggest relief he had felt in such a long time. So even though he was still technically a Captain, he could step back and let the older man take charge. Stepping into that familiar role of following Price wherever he led them because that's how much he trusted the man. Even if he pulled something like sending a nuke in the air without forewarning everyone where he was sending it. It gave the edge to the Americans and now all they had to do was take advantage of it.

"Sir…" MacTavish sighs, fumbling with where to start.

"I know what you're going to ask, and there's no point trying to explain it now. But I will, when this is all done. I'll tell you all." Price stands as the pilot informs them they're just a few minutes out.


End file.
